


Trial by Fire

by QuillQ



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Family, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Insert, Original Character(s), Rebirth, Reincarnation, Team Dynamics, Violence, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 10:18:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 62,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillQ/pseuds/QuillQ
Summary: My name is Uchiha Junko and I was reborn into a clan of professional illusionists. It kind of made my already precarious reincarnation even harder to believe.OC-insert story.
Comments: 67
Kudos: 348





	1. The Before and After - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and thanks for taking a look at Trial By Fire. This story is a huge mesh of several scrapped ideas, and I'm not sure which direction to take it. I've read quite a few reincarnation/OC-insert stories, which made me want to try my hand at an original character. And though I have drafted about seven chapters I make no promises with this.
> 
> Oh, and of course this is inspired by the many great insert/reincarnation/OC stories already out there. If you haven't already read them you should leave this story at once and check out "Bloodless" by Tavina, "Catch Your Breath" by Lang Noi, "Pinwheel Madness" by Loeka, not to mention the ultimate character insert story "Dreaming of Sunshine" by SileverQueen and so many other wonderful stories.
> 
> 28.03.2020 EDIT: Drawings and sketches has been added to the chapters.
> 
> Warning: this is not beta'd and English is not my native language, so please forgive the mistakes.

**Trial By Fire**

_The Before and After - _ _Part 1_

If it looks real, acts real and sounds real, I should be able to trust it, shouldn't I?

That would become the question of my life.

The effects of genjutsu are sensory illusions, it tricks a target into believing a deception, and my clan was both feared and admired for our proficiency with this specific ability.

A successfully cast genjutsu targets the chakra flow of the cerebral nervous system, which means it effects the five senses. The feared Uchiha genjutsu stemmed from those of us who awakened and mature our bloodline dōjutsu, the Sharingan. They are afforded perfect vision, perfect recollection, and the ability to predict the immediate actions of those within our range of visibility.

Is it therefore any wonder that those with the Sharingan can be pretty adapt at casting illusions?

Our minds were optimized for memorization and reaction.

We had a superior cognizance written into the makeup of our genetics, and from there we had a much shorter path to cross before we could literally make people see things from our perspective. No matter if they wanted to or not.

The Uchiha - we who could make dreams reality.

And why am I mentioning this? Well, I thought it pretty relevant to the topic.

Because when I couldn't even trust my perceived reality as factual it added another layer of unbelievability to the hypothesis that this may not be my first life.

Sometimes, mostly when I was especially vulnerable, tired or emotionally unstable, I would wonder if my entire life was unreal. That I'm in a coma somewhere and everything around me, this entire second life, is an illusion inside my head.

After all, according to the set rules of this world that was very much possible.

Though most of the time I believed the opposite, that the lie was that other life.

Then it's those moments when we are aligned, where I accept that there was a before, but that this is the after, and though we are not the same, we are united as only one soul in two bodies can be. We are both the dream and reality at once, and those moments are always the clearest.

You see, I wasn't always who I am now. I was once a normal person, with a normal job and a normal life. I was happy and content, until I very suddenly wasn't. That life ended, and this one took its place.

Now I am Uchiha Junko, and I was born on a cold winter day at Konoha General Hospital. Not that I remember that, but my birthday is the 3rd January and that day is statistically pretty chilly, so I've always assumed it was a nippy stroll for my okaasan to make while being in labour.

It was at the tail end of the Third Great Ninja War, months before its conclusion and at the height of its intensity. So understandably my otousan, Uchiha Fugaku, as a high ranked soldier in the ninja military, was away fighting when all this went down. Leaving my okaasan Mikoto and oniisan Itachi in the village to welcome me into the family.

I don't remember those days. I was a baby, my mind was mush and like all infants that period of my life is completely blank. The fact I had a second hand soul didn't take away the fact my body was brand new and undeveloped.

Even if I was an old soul in a new body, the physical limitation of my infantile brain wasn't able to recognize this. The brain and body aren't separate after all, and just as I had to train my body to sit, stand, talk and walk, my mind too took time to grow enough for me to realize I wasn't the same as my peers. And by then I had come to the conclusion my oddities weren't handicapping me, and accepted it as a part of me the same way I accepted I had two arms, two legs, had two brothers, two parents and – apparently - two lives.

As such there were no singular event that stood out, no horror filled revelations of; "Oh my god! I've been reincarnated!" at all.

No. I was a baby. My brain was literally incapable of holding on to a thought. I had yet to develop a working memory, which is the ability to hold on to information long enough to make anything out of it.

So even if my soul was aware something wasn't right, my consciousness didn't get the memo.

I'm pretty thankful for that actually. Being aware of that while stuck in an infants body is probably a form of torture.

No, fortunately the understanding came to me gradually, and my first clues came in the form of dreams. Both my most horrible nightmares and sweetest dreams had always been eventful, colourful and vivid in a way that stood out to the members of my family. Filled with strange and alien concepts I unassumingly shared with my immediate family from the earliest days of my baby rambles.

Perhaps the fact that I had never bothered hiding the images in my head was a blessing in disguise too. Like a lot of children I trusted my parents implicitly, there was nothing to hide from them and I didn't imagine a scenario where I'd need to. My okaasan and oniisan were well used to hearing and had long since accepted my strange dreams. In fact they fostered it by making me tell them as much as I could recollect and comment and even laugh at some of the things I shared. As a result I was proud of it.

I'd often try to explain to my exhausted but kind okaasan how fast a car moved, or tell my stern and focused otousan of metal birds flying into the clouds. "With people riding inside!" I would insist, and he would let me ramble on despite being so busy he rarely had enough hours in a day to eat and sleep, far less raise his children. Yet when he came home exhausted he'd still allow me to chat his ears off while trying to make me sit still long enough to give me an evening bath.

When I was a year and a half we were joined by the youngest and final member of our family, my otouto Sasuke, and he grew up with tales of a village that never slept, a clock named Ben and a really long Great Wall as night stories.

The one who suffered most of my stories was - without a doubt - my okaasan Mikoto, but my brothers were frequent victims as well.

To them I was Junko the storyteller.

Jun the dreamer.

Jun-chan the imaginer.

Those were all lovely titles bestowed on me from my family.

The fact I could recall another life, another world, was mostly dismissed and explained away, and even I myself believed it. That it was simply a product of my overactive imagination, and even now I can't say for sure if it's true.

To me I had always remembered that other life, it was part of me, it was who I was and the fact this was my second life didn't feel off. It was all I knew, and so to me it seemed perfectly natural.

It took me a while to realize no one else could recall being anyone else. Being anywhere else. By then the two parts of me, an old soul and a fresh body made up the total sum of what I had become.

I was Uchiha Junko - just with a little extra.

When I walked by the lake in the district and caught my reflection I wasn't looking for anyone but the black eyed child who stared back. I never saw my parents and thought them replacements. My brothers weren't in anyone else's stead.

I guess the only thing I was missing was a dog, but I'm not sure I can blame that on rebirth.

In that other life there had been others, and I talked about them a lot when they showed up in my dreams.

My family probably thought them my imaginary friends, and let me share while listening patiently. But the memories came to me gradually over a period of several years, and so I myself didn't connect the dreams and their content with any sort of loss.

Though at times there was an emptiness in my heart, a hole that never quite healed or let me forget something was marred, something was gone, and I would never get it back.

My parents were busy people, though it took me a while to realize why. My otousan was the Head of the Uchiha clan and Captain of the Military Police, and his work took a lot of energy and time. So my first few memories of this life is from the age of one and up, and they mostly included my okaasan and brothers.

The first vivid one that truly stuck with me was the night of the demon fox attack.

Our parents were out, and so only my five year old oniisan Itachi had been there to look after us that evening. When the nine tails was set loose on the village Itachi had gathered us both up, me sitting on his hip while our three month old otouto was screaming in the sling he was strapped into. Itachi was just a child, but even grown people were acting less reliable than him that night.

I was crying too, but Sasuke's wailing drowned my own whimpers and silent tears. My terror was too great for volume. I wanted to hide, and so did my best to be quiet, but my body betrayed me, and I was shaking with stifled sobs the entire way to the shelters.

The trek through the village had been petrifying and scary, the screams and cries of the village a background chorus of desperation. It contrasted with the soothing words of my oniisan who cooed and reassured us the best he could.

"Don't cry." He hushed, clutching my body closer to him and giving me a small smile as I huddled my head into the crook of his neck. "Your oniisan is here to protect you, no matter what happens." He promised.

With the way I clung to Itachi I must have been strangling him, but he never scolded me, never let me go and got us to safety.

The memories of that night was vividly patchy because of my panic. In the years to come I would mostly recall a large monster towering over the rooftops, roaring so loudly my ears hurt, the feel of fear and hate in the air, and my oniisan humming a familiar lullaby in my ear.

My family was very lucky to make it out of that calamity alive. Though I would forever remember my okaasan's relieved face when she found us in the shelter the next morning.

But that terrifying memory aside, my childhood was a very happy one, filled with family, friends and lessons.

I was bright, talented, privileged and probably a bit- okay,_ a lot_, spoiled. Not in the way I associated with my old life though. I didn't expect anything for free. I was hard working, disciplined and focused, but I also expected to win. I wanted to be the best, and with the exception of my oniisan, I didn't see a reason why I shouldn't be.

As you can probably guess I was "a bit" competitive, and only "a tad" arrogant about it.

I can't say when and where I learned certain things. As a child you just swallow up information and tidbit from your surroundings which are seen as indisputable and absolute.

My name was Uchiha Junko, I was the second child and only daughter of Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha, sister to Itachi and Sasuke, we lived in Konohagakure no Sato and when I grew up I would be a ninja.

There was no doubt about any of those things. They were facts of life, and nothing could change it.

My parents started training us as early as possible - it was our way.

In my previous life it might have been called irresponsible parenting, perhaps even abusive, but in this life, this culture, it was a parent's duty to prepare their child. They proved they cared about me by making sure I could defend myself and those I loved against what would come for me in such a harsh and cruel world.

It also has to be said that my new body was more durable than the previous one. It developed faster and was a lot more sturdy. In a way I was an entirely new humanoid species. It certainly would explain how someone could be born with naturally green hair or eyes without pupils, something I couldn't remember being possible in that other world. But the fact I was something different here meant I couldn't hold it to the measures of what my old body could deal with.

If I used games as a simplified analogy, I could say my first life was something like Chinese Checkers, but after being reincarnated I had switched boards, and was now playing chess.

If my new world was a game of chess I couldn't just apply the rules of Chinese Checkers and expect it to end in anything but a spectacular loss. And as an Uchiha losing was unacceptable.

Before the Kyuubi attack I was already being conditioned for my future occupation. My childhood games were all, in one way or another, applicable for basic ninja training. Memorization puzzles, hand to eye coordination, balance, strength, stamina and flexibility. It was all part of the games I didn't think twice about. It came in the shape of challenges from my oniisan to race him back and forth in the yard until I tripped over my own feet, or okaasan making me train different hand positions with strands of strings to keep me distracted so she could finish the latest clan budget after mission prices had been adjusted now that the war was over.

My okaasan and Itachi made it look like fun and a challenge, and in many ways it was. It was a part of our culture, the same way doing chores and going to work had been in my previous life. It needed to be done, and we did it together.

From my earliest years I would join my family for training. We were a ninja family, and everyone needed to train. Our okaasan had retired from field work to look after us full time, but that didn't mean she didn't keep in shape, and she had found a lot of ways to include and encourage us to stay active.

Anything and everything could be a test.

One time when I was three years old and Itachi, only seven and yet only a few month off from graduating the academy, our okaasan had us make dinner. She provided us with all the ingredients, but instead of helping out she was busy distracting a fussing Sasuke.

Instead she instructed us from a chair, explaining step by step how and why we were doing certain things as we prepared the meal together. Itachi handled the sharp tools, and I was sat on the counter with the chief task of stirring whenever okaasan or Itachi told me to.

It turned out pretty well, but the twist came a couple of days later when our okaasan turned the game on its head. This time she had Itachi and I occupying our otouto while she made the dinner according to our instructions alone.

The dinner was edible, but not nearly as good as when okaasan had been instructing us, so both Itachi and I realized we had made a mistake at some point when directing okaasan's actions.

It was just one example of an exercise disguised as a game. To hear and follow orders, memorize them and implement them at a later date, but that was just one of countless little details.

okaasan did a lot of physical exercise, and we were always included whenever it was possible.

She would do pushups with me sitting on her back, and once I grew older, standing on one foot and training my balance. Then switch to situps, where she would have Sasuke cradled in her arms and laugh as she made funny noises. She could do a ridiculous amount of them too. She would bring us to the training fields and run lapses and do acrobatics, Sasuke and I clumsily following whenever we could until we collapsed of exhaustion. Sometimes Itachi would join in too, and even rarer, but more exciting, otousan would come along.

Whenever things became too complicated for me and Sasuke to follow they always made sure we were kept busy anyway, either with simple katas, stretching, strength or some other physical activity.

They didn't see a problem with making a two year old toddler sit down and stretch.

The argument? Babies are naturally flexible, and if you didn't maintain it you grew stiffer. The earlier you started stretching the more likely you were to reach your maximum potential later down the lane. In my previous life I had started with gymnastics at age eleven, and though I had been very flexible and able to do most yoga poses and a lot of acrobatics with training, I had still started "too late".

I had been good, naturally talented which had allowed me to at least keep up, but never the best. That had been those kids who had basically grown up in the training halls.

In this life I was one of "those" kids.

By two years old I could slide into all three splits seamlessly and was more interested in cartwheeling down the street than walk.

By three I was doing katas, handstands and backflips.

By four I was practising with wire, wooden kunai and meditating.

I couldn't do it nearly as perfectly as Itachi or my parents, but I gave it my all, and I was still a lot more physically active than I had been at that age in my previous life, and I'd been a hyperactive little brat then too. 

As the daughter of the head of the Uchiha clan and the spare heir there was definitely pressure on me to do well and live up to my oniisan example, though I didn't really see it that way in those early years. It was just how our life and community functioned.

And that was just my close family.

The Uchiha clan as a whole was large. My neighbourhood was one with spacious houses with individual yards for the more well established clansmen of various importance, which to me as a young child meant they all seemed old and boring. Though I only had to walk a couple of streets to find someone my own age.

My best friends were Uchiha Yoko, who was funny and optimistic, and the other was Uchiha Taiko, who was hot headed but unfortunately had the skills to back up his bravado.

I called all of my friends in the clan "cousins", though I didn't know how I was related to a single one of them. But we all shared the name Uchiha, and they were all part of the clan.

When we got together we were usually watched by someone able to make sure we didn't cause too much trouble, often my okaasan or someone else's parent, but it was always a lot of fun.

There were races and games of hide and seek, we played detective vs infiltrator, the Uchiha equivalence of ninja vs samurai.

There were always people coming or going from our house too. My okaasan was the clan matriarch, and even retired from active duty she had many responsibilities to make the daily life of the clan go around.

She was the one who ordered supplies and distributed it to the right members, which included weapons, gear, medicine, special orders and maintenance. When she wasn't buried in paperwork she also made sure every member fared well, checking in on those sick or injured and keeping tabs on the happening in everyone's life. It wasn't a small task by any means. Before the Third War broke out The Uchiha clan had counted over four hundred members, though with the warring years that number had dwindled to the mid three hundreds, and she knew and cared about every single one of them.

Through running the military police otousan made sure the village as a whole was safe, and though he was the figure head in name, in practise it was okaasan who made sure the Uchiha clan kept running smoothly. Anyone could come to okaasan or otousan with a problem, and they would be duty bound to assist. It was their responsibility, and as a result I knew a most of clan too.

They showed up at all hours of the day. If they wanted to speak with otousan they usually went to the station, but okaasan's base of operation was our house.

Other times okaasan would go to them instead. Like when cousin Aiko ended up in the hospital, or when uncle Naka died leaving his nine year old twin sons orphaned and in need of new living arrangements.

They said Mikoto had been an active field ninja of jōnin rank that had to retire when she married to start a family, but that was a gross simplification of the situation.

What people ignored when they summarized things in such a way was that the last Uchiha clan head, our ojisan, had died the same year she fell pregnant with Itachi, and so she and otousan had been tasked with both the sudden responsibility of the Uchiha clan, the military police, the Third War breaking out and starting a family all within a few months. Was it any wonder otousan had developed stress lines the last few years? The fact our okaasan hadn't collapsed from overtaxation was a miracle. I had no idea how either of them made things go around, only that both of them were professional multitaskers, as even with so many responsibilities, they made sure we were taken care of. Even if they themselves couldn't be the one to do it, we were never forgotten or ignored.

It was the best about being part of a clan, because just as surely as Fugaku and Mikoto was there for the clan, so were they there for them, and when things became too hectic we were taken care of by one of several candidates. If it was grouchy Yashiro ojisan, playful Koji ojiisan or welcoming Uruchi obasan could change from day to day, but there was never a lack for candidates.

Though admittedly things calmed down for okaasan once the War ended and otousan was able to stay home on a more regular basis. Even if he still had to work long hours, it was only at the police station a few streets down from our house - not on the boarder or in another country.

The Uchiha were a tight knitted bunch, and it showed most of all in how they raised their children as a community. Even if I didn't personally know everyone in the clan as well as others, I had at some point interacted with them all. The youngest ones most, as we were often pushed together.

We played together, bought senbei and ate lunch together, and most commonly of all; we trained together.

In the summer of my fourth year I was deemed old enough to participate in the half yearly Uchiha assembly. An event for the benefit of the younger Uchiha and a part of the clan educational system.

The first time okaasan brought me along I was extremely nervous to enter the largest Uchiha dojo in the heart of the compound. It was one of those places that seemed awfully grown up to toddler me, as it was the main dojo only the best in the clan used frequently.

Like our home it was a traditional building but slightly more extravagant in its decoration. It was very impressive, but unexpectedly crowded too.

"This is a congregation we hold twice a year. You will be asked to match up against another around your age. It is a friendly spar, though we expect you to do your best. Throughout the assembly I want you to pay attention. Some of the kids have awakened their Sharingan and you will be able to observe those more experienced than yourself." Instructed okaasan.

Itachi had come along for this, and seemed well used to the setup which to me was new and overwhelming. I had trained since I could walk, but never in front of so many people. Of course everyone in the hall was familiar to me in one way or another, they were all clan members, but this seemed more like a performance than a normal training session.

There was an open space in the centre of the room where we would be fighting, and okaasan went to sit down by the sideline and gestured for us to follow suit.

Compliantly I sat down and searched out the kids in the room. I waved to Yoko, who was sitting with her parents and Taiko. I could see Shisui with Yashiro-ojisan's children, Seiji and his younger brother Kenjiro.

In total I could count sixteen children and teenagers. The rest were too old to be part of this and mostly consisted of parents or older siblings who'd come to watch. There were also several of the Uchiha elders, including Setsuna-sensei and a group of officers from the police station.

As the last of the audience entered the dojo, I was asked to stand up along with Taiko who would be my opponent. We got the dubious honour of starting the entire assembly, as it was our first time attending for both of us.

Taiko, usually boisterous and confident, was obviously uncomfortable with the many eyes observing us. We had never really been pitted against each other either. When we trained we worked side by side, we practised throwing wooden kunai and rubber shuriken. We did yoga and ran lapses, but it hit me then that we had never actually fought against each other.

I had ever only sparred with okaasan, otousan and Itachi, and that couldn't really compare. The skill gap was too large between us for it to be more than me haplessly charging someone who only blocked, ducked and redirected while being mindful not to hurt me.

Though the training had desensitised me to the idea of attacking another human being, I was now unsure how to go up against someone at my own level. No matter how hard I attacked I had never stood a chance of hurting my oniisan or my parents.

That couldn't be said for Taiko, who was actually a couple months younger than me.

But I knew what was expected of us, and as Taiko was so hesitant to attack, I had to be the one to engage the confrontation.

It was over surprisingly fast.

Not even half a minute after engaging I had Taiko restrained on the ground, his arm twisted up his back after I'd swept his feet away from under him. Soundly defeated. Perhaps he had been nervous?

While I helped a red faced Taiko up, my okaasan gave a small but proud smile from the side line. There were no applause, no pat on the back or verbal acknowledgement of my win. Instead it was just barely there in the nods and recognition in the eyes of the spectators. In true Uchiha fashion our feelings were understated and subtle, but it didn't mean it wasn't there.

Next Itachi was asked to go, and I gave him an encouraging smile which he returned. He was up against Izumi.

I eyed Taiko as he went and sat down with his parents, noticing he was scowling and avoiding eye contact with me.

Of course I didn't know it at the time, but that spar would be the start of our rivalry.

Right then I was too distracted at getting to watch Itachi fight.

The spar was much more advanced, and though lopsided in terms of skill – Itachi was visibly better than Izumi from the very beginning, it was still educational for me to see what I would be expected to learn within the next few years.

But my oniisan was so incredibly good, he made it look effortless. I won't lie, I was a bit starstruck. It was the first time I truly realized that the bragging about Itachi's skill level was well earned, and not just the indulgent musing of our parents.

Most seemed to agree with me too. People watched Itachi as he sat down again.

The two to go next were some of the younger cousins, namely Kenjiro against Yoko, both of whom were close to my age and level. I silently cheered for my best friend, but Kenjiro won, though it had been a pretty well evened match.

In this fashion all the participants were made to fight and demonstrate what they knew and how they applied it. The assembly was a clan tradition held often enough that it was a familiar concept, yet not so strict it was mandatory to show up. If something came up no one would force you to participate. However, to do so without cause was kind of like skipping someone's birthday party without a reason.

I knew it had stagnated a bit during the war, it had been difficult to get people together when everything had been so unstable, but now that Konoha was at peace once more the clan was picking back up on the traditions again.

The last two to fight were Tekka against Shota. Tekka was a chunin and the oldest participant at fifteen years old, while Shota was a year younger.

Even if it was purely restricted to a ring and taijutsu alone, they fought on an entirely different level. Their hits had so much more strength, their speed a lot faster and their mentality much more competitive. It was probably the longest spar, and in the end Tekka won, but only barely.

They said their goodbyes afterwards and headed home, talking quietly with each other about what they'd seen and taken from the gathering. It was incredibly fun watching, and I couldn't wait to try out some of the evasive manoeuvres I'd seen the older Uchiha use to get out of sticky situations.

As soldiers in training discipline was a big part of our life. To get to the necessary level required of even low level ninjas you needed it to endure years of excessive training. We started as young as physically possible and never stopped. So already at four years old I was very fit. We were constantly trained, and as part of the Uchiha clan I had a lot of recurses and opportunities most others did not. Though what I appreciated the most was just how willing anyone in the clan was to assist each other.

When I was in the yard training with oniisan, Tekka stepped out of the house in the middle of a meeting with okaasan to help correct my stance while Itachi finished his jumping jack repetitions.

Another time cousin Izumi walked by the gravel grounds where my friends and I usually trained. She had been on her way home from the academy but had seen we were struggling with an exercise, and without hesitating she staid to help. Two hours later her exasperated okaasan showed up, as Izumi's willingness to tutor us had made her forget to show up for her own shuriken training.

Stern and half blind Naori obaachan always had a story for us whenever we came to her house with groceries, and we usually ended up making dinner with her.

That was my clan, my family, my heritage, and I was so proud of it.

For a second chance at life it was a good one.

There were times I would dream and wonder where that other girl had gone. That other life and world and what happened there, but somehow it wasn't a topic that came up outside my stories.

The closest I came to talking about reincarnation was with otousan. He was always busy, but did his best to take care of us. His way to do so was by making sure our village was safe and our clan prosperous. It made him a distant parent, I won't deny that, but he tried to make time for us whenever he could and it made the times he came through for us all the more precious.

One way to do that was that Otousan brought us along for tasks. As a captain in the police force that wasn't often, but there were clan responsibilities where Sasuke and I were able to participate. We were less than enthused about it though, because to us it felt more like a punishment or chores.

It could be to help cleaning a room at the police station or a house in the district. It could be when father went from door to door within the compound to gather none sensitive reports. Sometimes he'd take us into the village to buy groceries or pick up packages. They were tasks that needed to be done but not sensitive or complicated, and so he'd bring us along.

One such yearly occurrence was when Otousan brought Sasuke and I to the cemetery to spend the afternoon tending to graves. Though it was always exciting to walk through Konoha and nice to spend the day with otousan, it didn't change the fact we were basically weeding.

"This is so boring." Sasuke whined after nearly an hour of work. His hands were dirty from digging in the soil, ripping out weeds and crawling from one stone to the next. I was holding the bucket with the uprooted plants to be thrown away, which had steadily grown very heavy with time.

The Uchiha had their own section of the massive cemetery next to the Senju, and there were so many graves. Not all needed much attention, as they showed clear signs of someone tending it to it, but there were also quite a few in need of maintenance.

"Sasuke." Otousan scolded with a pointed glance, which had Sasuke shut up at once. "Tending to the graves of those who's sacrificed their lives for our clan and the village is not wasteful time or boring. Every Uchiha buried here spent their lives honourable and in death deserves your respect for their faithful service and achievements. We honour them by making sure they are not forgotten. That even those who has no immediate living family left is still recalled by us - their legacy."

Sasuke nodded weakly.

Otousan straighten up from where he had been working on a really old looking stone. The design was simplistic and had only a scratchy engraving of; "Uchiha Hikaku" on it, but with no date of birth or death.

He left the stone and walked past several rows, coming to a stop in the middle of a cluster of graves with the dates of deaths pretty close to one another.

"This is your ojisan's grave. He was the head of the clan before me." Otousan explained gravely, his fingers brushing over the finely polished stone. "When he left for his last mission we had just told him we were expecting a child. He never came back alive, but his actions and strength contributed to keeping his clan and grandchild safe, and so he died a hero." He bent down and looked at Sasuke. "He gave his life so we could remain safe, happy and together. Don't he deserve to be remembered, Sasuke?"

Sasuke nodded, eyes wide and earnest. Otousan glanced at me, and I replied at once. "Yes otousan."

The thing was, otousan was a man strained with responsibilities and naturally quiet. He wasn't very good at speaking to people without coming off as stern and arrogant, far less children. What he was most comfortable speaking about was ninja things, and so death was unfortunately a topic he was well practised in. It was probably why he seemed so expressive to me on that particular occasion. At any rate I thought he seemed satisfied that we had understood his lecture, and we went back to work in silence.

I moved to work on another row of graves that needed less tending, which meant someone probably came by to remember them frequently enough that I only had to throw out some withered flowers and dig out a couple of fresh weeds. I had recently learned to read, and I was trying to understand each and every name I passed. This was my clan after all, I should know their names, when I came across one that was more familiar than the others.

"Is this obasan?" I asked.

Otousan saw where I stood and nodded without having to check.

"Yes." He replied quietly, eyes distant. "She died when I was young. Next to her is my imouto, she died a couple years later."

I glanced at the other grave, and suddenly found out where I got my name from.

_Uchiha Jun._

I was named after my paternal aunt.

And there, seeing my name written on a gravestone, my dreams and strange visions came rushing back to me with force.

"Where are they now?" I asked quietly, my small hand reaching out to touch the letters.

Otousan's answer was a bit uncertain. "They are dead."

He had misunderstood.

"But where is that?" I clarified. "Where do the dead go?"

"Okaasan said the dead stay with us in our hearts." Sasuke piped in, nodding seriously.

Otousan's eyes brightened a little as he looked at Sasuke's assured expression.

I was frustrated, because lately I was starting to put together the pieces of my dreams of that other world and the life I kept seeing.

"Do they move on? Is that why we honour them? So they know that we remember them like they remember us? That we still care?" I asked.

I wanted that to be true. I liked the idea that just as I had remembered some of that other life and brought it into this one, the ones left behind and lost that person I had been would recall and miss her too.

Otousan actually smiled. "I hope so." He answered calmly.

"You don't know?" Sasuke asked, sounding as if he found the idea of otousan not knowing something ludicrous.

"We can only know what we have experienced, and since death comes after life we can't know for certain." Otousan explained, making Sasuke scrunch his face in confusion.

"Eh?"

"The dead can not return to tell us. They can't contact us. But the same can't be said for the other way around. There are legends and tales of people communicating with the dead. Jutsu that can bring back those who had passed in some limited forms. Souls which can separate from a living body. Which means there are strong evidences that there is something after life. Even if our bodies fall in battle, our souls do not."

I nodded. "You're right otousan." I agreed, as serious as I'd ever been. He arched a brow at my certainty, studying me with a certain curiosity.

"Come on. That is enough of a break. Get back to work or we'll be late for dinner." Otousan instructed, and we went back to weeding graves.

We finished half an hour later and walked back a little more subdued than otousan had probably intended. But at least I now had some answers. Apparently souls were a known fact and moving from bodies weren't as uncommon as I had started to believe.

Obviously I had misunderstood a few details, but at the time I was relatively satisfied with that and called it a day.

A month later I was in the yard outside my home keeping busy with Sasuke.

"Finish the story oneechan!" My three year old otouto was my most avid listener. Since we were the youngest and closest in age we were usually pushed together, me with instructions to look after my toddling younger sibling.

"Fine, fine." I answered while adjusting so I could look at him. I was sitting in a comfortable split, my upper body resting against my thigh, ear against my knee and reaching towards my toes.

Sasuke was doing his best to mimic me, but he also thought stretching was boring, and I kind of agreed with him. It sometimes hurt and could be challenging, but it was also tedious and usually long. We stretched for half an hour every day, counting seconds and minutes between stretches and poses, and to pass the time I had started telling Sasuke stories whenever he lost his patience.

"- people were trying to get to a life boat but Riko-hime couldn't leave Jiro behind. So she ran through the ship in search of him. She found the room Jiro was being held, but he had been shackled. Scared and with time running out she tried to find the keys that would unlock them, but there were so many and the water was rising fast." I tried to make my voice urgent, and as my captivated audience leaned forwards I think I succeeded.

Titanic was one of the stories I remembered with some accuracy, but while telling the story to my cute otouto I changed the details a little. Like the names, Rose and Jack sounded very odd in Konoha, and I honestly couldn't pronounce the names without butchering them horribly.

"No! But Riko-hime is a civilian! How will she get Jiro free?" Sasuke asked, honestly distraught as I hummed in agreement.

"You are right. Riko-Hime was no ninja. No one had taught her how to help in such a situation, and she was both freezing from the water and afraid." As I spoke I tried to recall the hazy memory from the moving picture feature. I dug into my mind, dragging out images of the couple being stuck in a room underneath the deck of a sinking ship.

My skin tingles, snapping my mind out of the fading memories to focus on the cold liquid underneath my legs. When I looked down water was pooling up from the ground and above us the clouds had rushed in fast to cover the sun.

Sasuke shrieked and jumped like a cat dropped in a bathtub, terrified as the yard was abruptly flooded with rising water.

My heart started pounding wildly as my otouto leapt to my side. To him I was the first line of defence and his best bet at getting to safety.

It was all so sudden and I barely had time to understand what was happening. A suiton jutsu? Flooding the yard? Why-

And then I understood.

I closed my eyes, my hands clapped together in fierce consentration on disrupting my own chakra system.

"Kai!" I grumbled and opened my eyes.

The illusion fell to pieces, and predictably it revealed cousin Shisui standing in front of me, his smile playful and his mirthful black eyes dancing.

Still cranky about the trick I turned to dispel the genjutsu on Sasuke too. Becoming even more sour as I realized the two chakra exercises was enough for me to feel tired.

For a moment Sasuke remained disoriented before he noticed Shisui too. I could see him putting the pieces together, and then his cheeks puffed as he turned red in embarrassment. "Shisui!" He whined like the three year old he was.

A small chuckle from behind us let me know my dear oniisan was here to witness our little incident as well.

"But Sasuke-chan, I was just helping Jun-chan tell the story!" Shisui protested just as Sasuke bodily threw himself against his legs, a fruitless attempt at pushing the older boy over. Sasuke would be lucky to topple the dining table, he didn't really stand a chance of getting one over prodigious Shunshin no Shisui.

But there's a reason Shisui was a favourite cousin. Not just for Itachi, but for Sasuke and me as well, and so playing along Shisui flopped down on the ground, pretending the three year old had actually managed to unbalance him. In a fluid motion that had Sasuke squeal with giggles he had rearranged my otouto so he was sitting in his lap.

"I'm just making the story even better! Didn't it seem more real with the flooding water?"

"Oneechan's stories are already the best!» Sasuke protested. "Don't need stupid tricks."

"Aww.." Shisui made a wounded sound and allowed the now wriggling Sasuke to be put down at his side.

Itachi came to stand next to me, making Sasuke light up like a raiton jutsu. "Ani! Ani! Tell stupid Shisui not to genjutsu oneechan's stories!"

"My imouto tells wonderful stories, Shisui. You don't need to add anything to make them better." Itachi answered dutifully, making Sasuke's smile widen with glee at having Itachi on his side. It was pretty much a default setting for Sasuke and I to see Itachi's side as the right and winning side.

Shisui crossed his arms over his chest as if affronted. He wasn't trying all that hard to be believable, but then again that was why Shisui was the funny cousin. He never minded acting the fool. "No one appreciates my genjutsu anymore. It's not fair."

There was a long suffering sigh before he brightened right up again. "But you're right, Jun-chan tells great stories. I haven't heard this one either."

"We haven't finished stretching yet." I said, partly as an explanation to Itachi and Shisui, but also as a reminder to Sasuke to get back in position.

Sasuke slumped in disappointment, he had probably hoped we could go play with Itachi-nii now that our session had been disrupted. But obedient that he was, Sasuke plopped down with a huff, stretching his short legs into a split in a mirror position of my own.

Shisui answer was to smile even more obnoxiously. "Why don't we join you? I want to hear Jun-chan's story as well."

That was all the invite either of them needed, and wordlessly Itachi followed suit, finding a spot a bit to the side to give space for his longer legs.

Itachi and Shisui were no stranger to my tales, and soon I back to describing the last moments of the unsinkable ship and Riko-hime and Jiro's story.

Though my oniisan smiled knowingly when I change the ending for Sasuke's benefit. Making it so Riko-hime and Jiro got to survive together instead of a heartbroken Riko-hime finding value in life without her love like the version I had told a misty eyed Itachi a few months before.

By the end we had gone through all the poses and was walking back in a row to the house. Okaasan was sitting on the porch steps with several scrolls spread out around her, ink and brush in hand to fill out what looked like an order form for a shipment of ninja wire. My multitasking okaasan at her best. Always busy with one task or another, and I'm always a little startled by how effortlessly she makes it look to switch between clan affairs and childcare.

"That was a lovely story, Junko." She said when we passed by, her hand brushing through my hair.

It had recently been cut again. To my okaasan's delight and my own annoyance my hair stubbornly continued to grow both thick and quickly. It had become a frequent occurrence for my okaasan to cut it to jaw length, but within a month it would grow down to my shoulders.

Sasuke didn't seem to have the same problem, though then his hair was just like okaasan's, midnight black and a little more unruly.

"Go wash up and we'll start on dinner." Okaasan gestures towards the porch door which stood open to let in the warm summer air.

Like the dutiful children we were Sasuke and I marched to the bathroom, Itachi at our backs and Shisui remaining outside to chat with okaasan.

Soon we were all gathered in the kitchen, a gaggle of bodies trying not to be in the way of each other as we made dinner. Okaasan used cooking as a way to expose me and Sasuke to sharp tools in a controlled environment, and lately she was letting Sasuke try his hand at cutting vegetables.

It was both a bit surreal and hilarious to watch my three year old otouto try to use a knife several sizes too large for his tiny hands. Not that my own were much better, but a year and a half feels like a lot at that age. As he struggled to manoeuvre it correctly he was being watched by two jonin, a genin and me, so I was pretty confident if something was about to go wrong it would be noticed before it got too bad.

Not that Sasuke realized he was being watched. My family were good at being helpful in a very unassuming way. We pretended we weren't helping by making our actions look random instead of the deliberate reactions they were. So to Sasuke it was just coincidence Itachi needed to pick up the few cut carrots just as our otouto lost his grip on the knife, and was able to catch it before it fell to the floor. As casually as if he had just been brushing of his trousers Itachi placed the knife back in Sasuke's hand and allowed him to continue without a word. Even I had been fooled by this deception, but the effect was ruined when I was roped into the farce for Sasuke's benefit when he started needing more supervision.

It wasn't a very complicated dinner, and Sasuke, Itachi and okaasan had it finished while Shisui assisted me in preparing the table. There was a large case going on at the station, so I already knew otousan wouldn't be home for dinner.

"You disrupted that genjutsu very well, Junko. Your clan lessons must be progressing well." Itachi stated once we were seated at the table, turning towards me with a small smile.

I had started private lessons even if I hadn't started the academy, where the focus was clan techniques. It was slow going and boring most days. But according to Setsuna-sensei, who was really, really old and grouchy, it was all necessary if I wanted to progress.

It wasn't like the training I did at home, which was mostly physical conditioning, reading, writing, maths and history.

No, when I met with Setsuna-sensei the focus of the lessons were pure Uchiha techniques, which meant chakra training.

I had been placed in Setsuna-sensei's care right before I turned four years old, and before me he had trained Itachi, and before that he had taught Shisui, so I felt I had a lot to live up to here.

Setsuna-sensei was patient with me, but I already knew I fell short of his two former students.

The first seven months I had been doing a lot of meditating to find and learn how to use my chakra. It wasn't as easy as I had assumed, and I hadn't been very optimistic to begin with. Chakra was inside me, around me, and through me, and detangling that mess had been a headache. To learn how to bring something that was perfectly happy staying dormant underneath my flesh and muscles and not only make it move to my preferred rhythm but also be expelled according to my instructions was very difficult.

And just like when you train muscle mass and stamina, if you stopped exercising your chakra you would start to retrogress.

Much of what I had done so far was basic chakra manipulation with the meagre excess I was currently in possession of. I had yet to build up reserves enough to do any taxing jutsu. Which is why the focus was chakra control.

"Thank you!" I beamed at Itachi, a warm flush to my cheeks at the fact he'd noticed. Dispelling genjutsu was the first real chakra technique I had been taught, and I had worked hard on how to shake off such attacks. Exposure to Genjutsu and learning to differentiate between illusions and truths was my current field of study, and Shisui's little prank was actually the first time I had dispelled anything Setsuna-sensei hadn't put me under.

His goals with my studies would continue for however long I needed it, and would end once he was confident I could do three chakra techniques in a battle scenario. Dispel basic genjutsu, cast a basic genjutsu on an opponent and use katon jutsu.

The way he spoke of it made it sound like they were the Uchiha equivalence of the academy three.

He had started me on all three, though it wasn't necessarily his job to teach me the exact genjutsu that was deemed good enough or the fire technique.

Setsuna-sensei was there to drill in the basics. He was old, retired and had no immediate family left, so he spent the time training us kids clan techniques. My parents and Itachi weren't nearly as accessible to help me out as retired old Setsuna-sensei was.

Though it wasn't just a matter of willpower and stubbornness to master the steps.

Neither genjutsu or nature transformation were easy fields of study, and according to Setsuna-sensei they were much harder than the academy three. I don't think he was exaggerating either.

Nature transformation, the ability to mould your chakra into an element, was commonly seen as advanced chakra control. Adding that with shape manipulation, which was required in even weaker D-rank katon jutsu, was seen as a solid chunin level skill.

It could take several years of hard work to master. Not to mention my small chakra reserves meant I couldn't keep it up for long at a time. I had only recently learned how to control my chakra system enough to dispel simple genjutsu, and had barely made any progress at transforming my base chakra nature into katon.

There was a list which simplified the steps on how to use elemental jutsu.

A. Find chakra.

B. Mould chakra.

C. Transform chakra

D. Shape chakra

E. Release the chakra.

And I was somewhere between step A and B.

No, before I would be doing any flamethrowers I would have to make a spark to ignite it first.

I was motivated to do my best however, as I knew once I learned the basics of nature transformation and shape manipulation, otousan would teach me a real katon jutsu. Most likely the clan signature jutsu; the Great Fireball technique.

It was something everyone who graduated the academy was taught at some point no matter their affinity. Because of that we were known as a bunch of fire breathers across the nations, but what made the Uchiha feared was actually our Sharingan genjutsu.

Strangely enough, not every born Uchiha were able to activate the Sharingan, which is why the Great fireball is the Uchiha signature jutsu and not some genjutsu which several members of the clan would never be able to cast.

I learned a lot of basics from Setsuna-sensei. Not only about chakra, but about the clan as well. I learned the ancient Uchiha history, things that was considered long ago even before Uchiha Madara had been born. Setsuna-sensei would know, he was older than Konoha itself.

I would be lying if I said it wasn't useful, but Setsuna-sensei was both strict and very Uchiha. Which meant he had little patience for foolish nothings and expected my full obedience. Seeing as he was our neighbour it was pretty easy to drop by, and some days I would only be half an hour, while others I would stay until dinner to complete the task he had set me that day.

"So Setsuna-sensei is finally making sense?" Asked Shisui, his grin teasing.

At some point I had complained about how boring lessons were and must have forgotten Shisui had been around. That was the thing about Shisui, he was usually around, though I'm not always sure why.

Shisui was a few years older than Itachi and one of the promising Uchihas under quite a bit of pressure to do well. Though other than that I wasn't sure how we were related. I'm pretty sure he was closer related to us than Yoko or Taiko, as Shisui actually looked a lot like us. Though all Uchihas had black eyes, that was where most of us stopped resembling each other. The clan was too large to hold any common characteristic outside black eyes, and that trait wasn't exactly unique. Dark eyes were dominant with the Naras, Sarutobis, Akimichi, the Hatake and uncountable others. The only difference was that some of our black eyes suddenly flashed red.

"Yea..." I mumbled, timid under my okaasan's stern look from the other side of the table. "Setsuna-sensei has been putting me under genjutsu so I'll learn what it's like and how to break them." I explained.

"Good work, Jun-chan." Shisui replied, his smile crooked and friendly. He was pretty expressive for an Uchiha. "Genjutsu is detailed work, and require a lot of concentrations. When you progress to casting genjutsu I'll teach you some tricks."

My head perked up in interest, eyes going wide. Shisui was very, very good at genjutsu, even otousan had described a few of his genjutsu as "exemplary".

"You will?" I asked, not able to cover my hopeful tone.

His smile widened. "Of course! We creative types have to stick together. I can't let that imagination of yours go to waste, Jun-Jun."


	2. The Before and After - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not beta'd, English is not my native language and so I apologize for the mistakes.

_The Before and After - Part 2_

Starting at the academy was a big event for me. Not only was I taking a big step in becoming a ninja, but the entrance ceremony happened to be on my seventh birthday.

Everyone who began was born within the same year, but as I was born in January I was nearly a year older than the youngest.

To my delight otousan managed to get time off to watch the entrance ceremony while Itachi had cleared his morning schedule for the same reason. Okaasan had dragged along a sulking Sasuke who was envious that he had to wait an entire year before it was his turn.

A year is a long time to a child, and the fact I would spend so many hours away had made him bratty in the last week.

My family couldn't stay long, but it had been weeks since all five of us had been together, and the fact they did it for my sake had me grinning widely from the moment I awoke.

I stood with my new classmates while the Hokage gave his speech, my family watching from the sideline.

There were so many kids - enough to fill four full classes. It was honestly a little intimidating, but I was determined to not let it get to me. I had been looking forwards to this for years, and it was finally here.

I wasn't used to many kids except my cousins, and we were all Uchiha. There was a certain collective temperament that couldn't compete with the atmosphere of so many excitedly nervous children in one place.

Though my day was made even better when I was put into a class with Yoko and Taiko, so there was at least a couple of familiar faces from the beginning. We migrated together, initially daunted by the loud volume, lack of composure and over emotive kids around us. It was basically an alien species to what we were used to, but personally I found it an exotic difference.

And though I had half expected we'd start learning complex jutsu right of the bat, that was pretty far from the case.

The first day was more for the sake of social interaction than anything else.

Our class instructor was Funeno-sensei, he had a kind face and a surety in his voice that made me feel like we were in competent hands.

The first half of the day was spent in the courtyard doing introductions before we were lined up and shown how to do basic morning stretches. They weren't the same as the ones I used, but I had no difficulties following along anyway.

After that we were shown around the academy, including where the offices were located, the ten training grounds of different sizes that the academy distributed and where classes would be held. After the tour finished it was already lunch and afterwards we spent the remains of the day outside.

Funeno-sensei had us divided into two teams and set us to play a game. It was one I had never played before, complex and full of timers and point scores, but active enough that everyone was dragged into it.

There were three balls involved. One of which couldn't be carried with your hands and yet was not allowed to touch the ground unless you wanted to lose your team points. A squishy ball that was a weapon to take out opponents for ten minutes for each hit, and one ball that both teams wanted to be in possession of whenever the timer rang to score points. Funeno-sensei called it "troops and hoops", but I don't know why. There were no hoops.

By the end of the day my team won, and I was pretty proud I was one of the three who hadn't been taken off the field a single time.

Funeno-sensei congratulated us, and then addressed the rest of the class, telling us how pleased he was with his new students.

Afterwards we were free to leave, and as I was picking up my bag to leave I ended up speaking with sensei about the curriculum. It was in the middle of this conversation sensei realized who I was, or more accurately, who I was related to.

"You're Itachi-kun's imouto, right?" He asked with a wide smile.

I perked up at the familiar name, my answering smile more subdued but eager as I nodded. "Yes, sensei."

"When he started the academy he was in my class too, you know. He was excellent. I've never had such a brilliant student in my care."

Of course I had heard this before, it had nearly become a mantra whenever most spoke of Itachi. "Itachi oniisan is very strong." I agreed, because it was perfectly true. Though the conversation was bringing back what was becoming a familiar tension in my shoulders.

Funeno-sensei hummed in agreement. "I hope you'll work hard. Itachi-kun is a wonderful role model, and I hope you will strive to follow his example."

I had always done my best, and at this point I wasn't sure how much more I could possibly do. But despite my efforts I was already lagging behind. I was good, but Itachi was exceptional.

"I will, sensei." Of course I would do my best. Even if it would take long my goal was to one day catch up to oniisan. Despite my competitive nature I had never really felt the need to be better than Itachi, I just wanted to be as good.

He smiled brightly. "Then I'm sure you'll succeed, Junko-chan."

During the game "troops and hoops" the first day Taiko had made friends with a couple of boys in class, and had left Yoko and I in favour of hanging with kids of the same gender.

I didn't mind. Taiko was my friend, but we always got competitive, and the academy only highlighted that.

And in fact, I too was making an effort to be social. The first person I got acquainted with was a girl with frizzy blonde hair and round thick glasses. I had noticed her the first day because she had been on my team during troops and hoops, though she had been of little to no help. Fortunately her second impression was better than the first, and she had been very polite when she had introduced herself.

"Hello, I'm sorry to intrude, my name is Shiho… Would you mind if I take this seat?"

Yoko, who had better developed social skills than I, was quick to smile reassuringly and nod.

"Of course not, please sit. My name's Uchiha Yoko and this is Uchiha Junko."

Shiho had been visibly relieved she wasn't sent away, and hurriedly took the available seat on our row. She had a very plain, mousy look to her, and in the privacy of my mind I had dismissed her right of the bat as a "no name - no one".

"Ah, you are sisters?" Shiho asked once she was seated next to Yoko.

Yoko giggled and shook her head. "Oh no. We're just both from the Uchiha clan. Cousins." She clarified and pointed towards Taiko a couple of rows behind us. "Taiko-kun is too."

"Of course, my mistake. I should have put together you were part of the clan that runs the Military Police." Shiho nodded, her cheeks a little pink.

"Jun's otousan is the Clan Head and the Captain of the Police." Yoko grinned and nudged me. "And both my parents work as officers at the station too."

Shiho stammered a bit, seeming even more uncomfortable now. "I see… Um, my parents are ninja, but… but I'm not part of a clan." She glanced at me nervously.

That was quite normal actually. Shiho was just one example of the majority in the class as most did not have a clan, but were instead children of one or two ninja parents. If not they had someone else, perhaps a close relative, guardian or even a committed next door neighbour who was invested in conditioning the child from an early age, which gave them the opportunity to become a ninja down the line. It didn't mean they would choose that path – though usually they did - but at least the option was there when they reached academy age.

Those who did not…

Well, there had been a few in our year who were what most nicknamed; "civilian kids" - children raised the civilian way.

Konoha had the largest civilian population of the five Great Villages, but as many civilians as there was they were still outnumbered by ninjas. We had found a balance where the two social groups coexisted pretty well, though we didn't really mix outside business hours. The reason was that civilians… kind of stayed civilians.

During the entrance ceremony I had counted six civilian kids with a single glance. They had been obvious to me, and not just because their clothes had been hopelessly civilian standard. There were several dressed worse actually, and that was more the result of poverty. No, it was in their soft physiques, bad posture and timid glances.

The next day five of the six kids had dropped out.

They had been absolutely crushed in the game the day before, no matter if they'd been on the winning team or not. There had been no one to condition them from an early age and it showed. Even the orphanage kids were doing miles better, as at least they had regular exposure from visiting genin teams and the matrons were all retired ninjas.

It had actually shocked me how bad the civilian kids were. At only six they were already so far behind physically it would be a miracle for any of them to make it through the first year, far less be able to graduate.

"You're an heiress." Shiho said uncertainly, sounding as it had started as a question but had changed midway through to a statement.

"Puh, hardly! That's her oniisan, Itachi-san." Yoko's eyes flickered to mine and she smiled teasingly, making an effort to make Shiho more at ease.

I huffed and rolled my eyes, allowing the slight against me since Yoko was making such an effort to be friendly with the mousy girl, and after that Shiho occupied the seat.

The next week was a blur of introductory classes. Because of clan training I was well ahead of most of my year mates, even Yoko and Taiko.

Just about every class focused on building up a solid base, and so we spent most of our days outside training. We ran lapses, learned katas, did obstacle runs, jumping exercises, stretching and target practise. We only had a couple hours theory for writing and maths, though I knew we'd get more theory later.

I had done it all for years already, and was honestly a little bored with the lack of challenges.

Yet Funeno-sensei was a solid instructor, and knew how to motivate us without letting anyone goof off.

Not that I was one of them. I was very motivated, and even if everything was stuff I already knew I was determined to be the best. It payed off too, as within the first month I had jumped to the top of the rankings.

I was very proud, though a bit worried as the scores told me I had a few contenders who wasn't that far behind.

Though it would take me a few months to realized just how much of a competition I had on my hands.

We started class spars about three months into our first year. By then Funeno-sensei was confident everyone knew enough of the basis to be pitted against an opponent.

Funeno-sensei didn't follow any particular system, and would randomly look up and call out two people standing next to one another for the matches. The only time he didn't do this was to prevent students from the same clan from fighting each other, guessing correctly that we'd done it many times before and so wouldn't learn much from it. So when he came to our corner his eyes trailed between Yoko and I uncertainly.

"Um… Junko-chan, come forwards, you'll spar against..." His eyes jumped right over Yoko and Taiko, before snapping to someone behind us, and he gestured towards them. "Shiho-chan."

We stepped into the ring and faced each other. Our hands forming the seal of confrontation which Funeno-sensei and the aid Suzume-sensei had demonstrated at the beginning of class.

Ten seconds later Shiho was defeated.

"Oh..." Shiho breathed, eyes wide from her place in the dirt where I had her restrained.

"Junko-chan wins." Funeno-sensei called the match.

I helped her up. Shiho was a polite girl after all. And though all victories felt nice, winning against Shiho didn't really ignite the same rushing pride I felt when winning against Taiko or Yoko. She just wasn't very good.

Though blushing from loosing Shiho took the defeat better than half my clan ever would. We did the seal of reconciliation with polite nods and went back to watch the next matchup, which was Yoko's turn and she was up against a girl named Tenten.

By now I knew all the kids in class, even if I wasn't the most sociable I wasn't deaf or ignorant either. What kid doesn't know their classmates after three months anyway? Tenten was a very social, well meaning girl who seemed reasonable talented. Her scores were a little above average and she had spirit and ambitions to do well.

That still didn't justify how close the match was.

Yoko and Tenten's spar was long.

Tenten had a civilian father and a kunoichi mother, so she had probably been trained well from an early age. What she didn't have was an entire clan to help her, nor any experience sparring under pressure.

Yoko won in the end, but it was very, very close.

I didn't like it when Yoko struggled. It made me uncomfortable. I knew what I would do in her situation, but her strengths and mine were not the same. "That was a tricky spar." I commented idly. "Though I've seen you do better." I excused. It wasn't entirely true. As far as I could see Yoko had fought as well as she could.

Yoko nodded and combed her sandy brown hair behind her ear. "Yea… You're right. That wasn't a very good match."

"Not for you." Taiko agreed with a snicker. Yoko scowled and stuck out her tongue at him.

"I won!" She insisted.

"Barely." I corrected with an arched brow, and she withered at once.

"Well, we can't all be you, can we?" She mumbled under her breath, and I felt a little bad. Not enough to take it back, but enough that I shut up.

The next to go was Taiko, and he beat his opponent without much effort. Rock Lee was very eccentric, very loud, very determined and very bad at just about everything. His best class was taijutsu where he was a little below averege, but that was by far his best subject. He didn't really stand a chance against Taiko, though that didn't mean he didn't try.

I noticed Yoko was one of the few who grimaced as Taiko sent Rock Lee rolling hard out of the ring, while several of the other kids laughed harshly. I kept my face neutral like otousan and okaasan had instructed.

The last match of the day was between two clan kids. Akimichi Makaro against Hyūga Neji.

The matchup was interesting as they were both pretty advanced, reminding me of the assembly spars more than the half hearted attempts I'd seen that day, though the Hyūga won in the end. Both boys were high on the rankings, especially Neji who I had noticed had been steadily scoring better the last couple of months.

After watching these matches I felt confident I knew what level everyone was at.

I was _wrong._

Though having received training from the clan Yoko and Taiko weren't really in the same category as me. They were capable, but they weren't part of the head family who demanded I excel, nor were they overly ambitious.

Tenten and Akimichi Makaro were both motivated and talented, and scored well in just about all subjects. Another good student was Iroha, one of three brothers in our class.

But I should have payed more attention to Hyūga Neji.

I'm not sure how I missed him in the beginning. He was rising on the lists steadily. Starting somewhere at the upper middle on the first few scores, and once he understood what was required he steadily climbed until he was breathing down my neck.

That in itself made me weary of him. I was horribly competitive, and the idea of failing was blood curdling. Failing to my family was not being the best, and so I had to keep my number one spot, and I was willing to sacrifice a lot to keep that standing.

I found that out after the first time Funeno-sensei matched me up against Neji for spars.

I knew it would be a challenging match as Neji, just like me, was undefeated. However, his spars had also been against kids I too could and had defeated.

We eyed each other in the ring and did the seal of confrontation as Funeno-sensei instructed.

We got into position, and then we were given the start signal.

We charged.

I think it was the most frustrating match of my short life. Neji was just as fast as me, but his movements were more fluid and precise in a way mine weren't. While I had better flexibility and a larger variety of moves I was comfortable using in spars.

And we were both horribly, stubbornly, unbendingly determined to win.

I lost.

In hindsight I think it was only good for my character, but at the time - face down in the dirt, bleeding, scratched, bruised and disheveled with my hands restrained behind my back. Held at Hyūga damn Neji's mercy - it felt a little like what the end of the world would.

How could I lose? I had _never _lost against an age mate. One thing was Itachi, Shisui or other older prodigies, but I had never failed against someone my own age.

And as Funeno-sensei asked us to do the seal of reconciliation Neji smirked, making his split lip bleed more. Yet it was haughty and dismissive. "Tsk, is that all the daughter of the Uchiha clan head is capable of? I should have figured."

And that sealed our fate. From that moment I hated Neji with a smouldering rage fitting of any member of my fire breathing clan.

That was the day I began putting a lot of effort into my taijutsu. Of course I had always been training to improve, but at seven I already knew I was more a genjutsu and ninjutsu type. Chakra manipulation was both more fascinating and came easier to me.

But now I found it wasn't enough, and like hell that bastard Hyūga was allowed to think he was better than me.

Itachi was surprised by the abrupt ferocity as I threw myself into taijutsu practise, and Shisui was downright worried when I requested that the promised genjutsu lessons were pushed back to another date. So much so he stuck Itachi on me.

"Are you sure? You've wanted Shisui's help with genjutsu for a long time. Why postpone it?" Itachi asked. After all Shisui had offered, and I'd been pretty interested until now.

"At the moment I feel my focus should be taijutsu. The class is still learning the basic of chakra moulding and the twelve base seals, so I'm ahead there. Far more advanced than I am compared to the other clan kids in taijutsu. To keep my ranking I'll need to practise."

A bit miffed Itachi had accepted that, leaving to report my answer to Shisui, who was really the one who wanted to know. I think he was a little offended genjutsu training was suddenly secondary on my priority list.

I didn't tell them. I couldn't. I was too ashamed over my loss.

Yet my work gave results, and three weeks later Neji got an ugly surprise when we were pitted against each other again.

The Hyūga prat had better taijutsu moves, they were refined in a way I hadn't been exposed to before - I could admit that if only in the privacy of my mind - but I had passion and currently carrying a very wounded pride.

Motivation is a big part of fighting, and the willpower to succeed can be just as important as skill.

I had both in plenty, and so I sent him bleeding out of the ring with smug satisfaction. When he was forced to do the reconciliation seal with me I ended the match just as Neji had.

"Hn, I guess I shouldn't have expected better from a Hyūga branch member." I said to his face.

Yes, I could be petty like that.

From my observations in the last couple weeks I had deduced it was a topic he was touchy about. I didn't know why, Neji was a quiet and private individual but I had still noticed his resentment towards the main family, and had deliberately held onto that little burn to use against him. It was all part of my revenge.

With that I had basically declared war, and I realized that as much as I had to prove, perhaps Neji was in a similar situation. Because after that neither of us were willing to give an inch.

In the next few matches we kept switching between who lost and won, as Neji proved just as capable of throwing himself into training to win our little cold front.

Our matches became something of a spectacle within the class, because we took it so damn seriously and we were both at a higher level than anyone else.

In the beginning it was the girls vs boys, female solidarity and girl power all the way, but then the lines blurred.

Taiko realized he was cheering for a Hyūga against an Uchiha, and hurriedly switched sides before his ojisan found out. Then a girl got a crush on Neji and switched to his side, and it just snowballed from there.

It went so far Funeno-sensei actually had to keep us on opposite ends of the classroom and stopped pitting us against each other to prevent the situation from escalating further. But instead we just found other subjects to compete in. Be it who got better scores in katas, the better times at lapses, better chakra manipulation grades, hand seal speed and precision, maths or even who had the better calligraphy. Everything was a battle field, and we had more than enough subjects to compare in.

I was naturally no social butterfly but thanks to my skills I quickly grew respected by my peers. Even the girls who fancied Neji deferred to me and found me admirable. Or perhaps they were just terrified I'd kick their arse if they got on my bad side. Though I still stuck close to Yoko. She was better at people and social interaction, and though she wasn't viewed nearly as brilliant as me she was still my best friend.

I may not have been the kindest, most forgiving or sweetest, but if I had no other virtues than I was loyal.

Six months into my first year at the academy I had adjusted to my new schedule, and was still holding on to my top ranking, if only barely.

One afternoon I showed the latest report card to my otousan. He'd been on his way out of the house, but I'd been excited to show I was still the best in the year and had him take a look before he left. He'd nodded and told me to keep it up, but that at my age Itachi had been abut to graduate, and that I should work hard to try and be more like him.

That day Neji had been particularly mean to me as well, and after otousan's lacklustre response to my grades I had been fighting tears for half an hour before I got a hold of myself enough to do my chores.

I still couldn't hide the fact I was in a horrible mood, especially from my okaasan, as my hurt feelings were expressed in the form of bratty behaviour instead of sadness. Which is probably why she got fed up with me and took advantage of a clueless Shisui who had only been stopping by to say hi on his way home from his shift.

Shisui was awfully sociable like that.

Somehow he ended up babysitting me and Sasuke, and after making us dinner and helping me with homework Itachi came home. Sasuke, who hadn't been any more excited about my aggressive mood, pounced on our oniisan, begging him to join him the yard to see his shurikenjutsu skills. "I've been practising lots, oniisan! You have to see!" He insisted.

As they left I remained sitting by the kitchen table. Before Itachi came home Shisui had been trying to cheer up the atmosphere with a card game, but the fact I kept losing wasn't making me any happier.

"You're staying? Don't you think Itachi would want to see how much you've progressed as well?" Shisui asked when he noticed I had not followed my brothers.

"Hn." I scoffed, looking down at the cards in my hand.

"I hear you're doing well in the academy." He pried, a bit impatient but still well meaning.

I shrugged.

"It must be very different. I remember when I started too. It was a bit different then because most graduated at nine or ten. It was right after the war and we were still following war time curriculum and not the one you are able to follow."

I looked up at him, giving a silent nod so he'd know I'd heard, and then lay down a five of spades.

Shisui shuffled his cards and tilted his head to the side curiously. "Anyone giving you problems in class?" He guessed, and my eye twitched.

He pounced.

"You have a bully?" He asked with a frown.

"No." I grunted.

"A stalker?"

"Tsk."

"A crush?" He guessed.

I snorted.

"Ah!" He snapped his fingers and lay down his cards. "A rival?"

I broke.

"He think he's so much better than me! Always so stuck up and walking around like we're his servants! He's not even top of the class - I am! Even if his taijutsu is a little better than the rest I'm still better in jutsu class and I've beaten him at every obstacle run. He said my taijutsu was flawed and my left side was open, like he's so all knowing! His stupid gentle fist looks stupid anyway, and his clan is just a bunch of Uchiha wannabe's."

Shisui blinked.

"Eh… I see… So your rival is good at taijutsu?"

"No! I mean he's not bad, but I'm good too, and he acts as if just because he's won a few times he's so much better! I beat him the time before last, and the one before that, and my kata scores are just as good as his, and I've got better flexibility and stamina than he does."

Shisui nodded seriously.

"Wait, did you say gentle fist? As in the Hyūga fighting style?"

I gritted my teeth and nodded. "Hyūga Neji."

Shisui broke into giggles, and I did not appreciate it. I glared at full force, thinking he was making fun of me.

"Ah, Jun-chan, you're just adorable sometimes." He leaned forwards. "You don't need to prove anything to him. If he is stupid enough to dismiss you, take advantage of it. Ninjas who get's a full head always runs into that one exception they really shouldn't have pissed off. It's a timeless mistake, nearly a fact of life. There will always be idiots, you just need to learn how to ignore them and get on with your day."

"But he's in my class!" I protested. "I can't ignore him."

"Be the bigger person and focus on your own training. Perhaps if you ignore him he'll grow too tired to continue being mean. You don't need his recognition. You don't need anyone's recognition to know you're a talented little firecracker, Jun."

"I don't want his recognition." I denied at once. "Why would I care what some stupid Hyūga thinks? I'm an Uchiha! We are better anyway! Just because he's..." I trailed off, my throat choking up as I looked away.

"Jun-chan?" Shisui asked, his voice much gentler now. When I looked up he wore a lopsided smile and was waiting patiently for me to finish.

"Ugh.. He has stupid Hyūga eyes." I grumbled.

Shisui only needed a second to put the pieces together.

"He can use his bloodline dōjutsu." He nodded and reached over to put a hand on my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. By then I was fighting not to tear up. It was so stupid to do so anyway. I'd get the Sharingan eventually… probably…

Though there were several who never did.

_And what if I was one of them?_

"What did he say?"

"That my blood ran weak so I was a lesser Uchiha." I replied.

Shisui frowned, eyes hardening and his hand ran up into my hair to pat it. "That is not true, and all he does when saying such lies is showing his ignorance. Neither he or you – no one - can compare the Byakugan and the Sharingan."

I was uncertain.

"It's true." Shisui insisted, sounding very earnest. "For the Hyūga their dōjutsu isn't activated, but instead they are born with the ability from birth. It's more like getting their milk teeth for them, and that is not how the Sharingan works. To some extent they can use the Byakugan from birth if they had the ability to think to do so, and for most it continue to evolve their entire life. Gaining distance and detail with age and experience."

I nodded slowly. That was very different from the Sharingan. When an Uchiha accessed the Sharingan it was not gradual at all. It was more like a switch. It could mature, but there was a beginning and an end to that. A first and final stage.

"Ugh" Shisui gave a humourless chuckle, making an exaggerated grimace which had me smiling a little. "Don't listen to idiots like that, Jun-chan. The Uchiha and Hyūga can't be compared, it's like comparing tomatoes and oranges. Both are defined as fruit and edible, but they are not the same and it's impossible to think so."

"Are the Uchiha the tomatoes or oranges in this scenario?" I asked, just because I wanted to see him glare at me in mock annoyance. I wasn't disappointed.

"It doesn't matter, Jun-chan. The Byuakugan gives the wielder 360 degrees visibility and the ability to see through solid object and long distances. This is because their eyes strip away the world of mass and solidity, looking into chakra itself. That's what it is, a dōjutsu that see the flow of chakra. They see the state of all things that is, and as such they have built an entire repertoire of attacks and defences around this discipline. Like their taijutsu style; the gentle fist, which targets the chakra network instead of muscles, bones and nerves like just about every other taijutsu style. Over generations they have perfected this art. A tried and tested style they drill into each new member of their clan."

Shisui's grin turned wicked, and he leaned closer, as if to share a secret with me. "We Uchiha, because of our Sharingan, are just about their perfect opposites. How else would you describe a dōjutsu that copies and memorize everything it sees, can foreshadow upcoming moves and is excellent at casting illusions? The Byuakugan and Sharingan only have two things in common, they are both dōjutsu, and they are both chakra sensitive. Otherwise they have nearly nothing in common. The Hyūga only cares about the truth of what is, while we Uchiha looks at several possible paths. The result is that the wielders of the two bloodline can't really compare at all."

He winked at me. "We Uchiha say screw reality, those hard bred traditions of yours are only rules which are meant to be broken, so let's mix this up. Instead of seeing what is, we are one step ahead and focus on what may be. If the world isn't to our liking, we'll just cast a genjutsu and make it how we want it."

His playful tone and flippant summary had me giggling, because Shisui kind of had a point despite how amusing it was to hear him lay out his opinion.

"Shisui? What are you telling my imouto?" Itachi and Sasuke came into the kitchen, carrying several newly cleaned shuriken each that they pushed into a bag and left by the doorway.

Shisui straightened, a little startled at being put on the spot. "Uh- I'm just explaining to Jun-chan what the difference between the Hyūga and Uchiha are."

Itachi narrowed his eyes, which only made Shisui smile more obnoxiously and wave his hand. "Jun-chan has a stuck up classmate, I was just clarifying that even if has the Byakugan it doesn't matter."

"Byakugan?" Sasuke asked, skipping up to the table with polite interest. He didn't seem too interested in getting a clarification though, because he spotted the cards. "Oh, can we play again? Please! Ani said he had the night off so he can join too, right?"

Itachi ruffled his hair and sat down in the chair next to mine and opposite Shisui.

"Ugh, I don't want to play again. Shisui always wins." I huffed, even if I was smiling now. Sometime in our conversation we had abandoned the previous game, and Itachi was gathering up our discarded cards.

"That's because he cheats." Itachi stated drily.

My face must have been comical at that revelation, and I swung my head to the side, looking at Shisui with betrayed eyes.

At least he had the decency to look sheepish.

Itachi scooted his chair closer to mine and pushed the stack of cards to our side of the table. "I'm going to teach you a trick, Junko." Itachi told me and sat down opposite me at the dining table. "Ever heard of slight of hand?"

I shook my head.

"Are you going to teach her misdirection now?" Shisui whined half heartedly, making Itachi glance up, his eyes pointed, and they did that silent communication thing where I never knew what they were saying.

"Of course." Itachi replied simply, starting to shuffle the stack of cards as Sasuke hurried over to our side, demanding that Itachi taught him as well.

"By the way… Jun-chan, what you said before, that was just an exaggeration, right? You didn't actually go up to Hyūga-kun and call him an Uchiha wannabe?" Shisui asked deceptively nonchalant, looking both pained and as if he was fighting down another giggling fit.

Itachi's shuffling halted, and there was suddenly a lot of focus on me.

"Hn."

Shisui groaned.

The one who struggled most with my new schedule as an academy student was Sasuke. He didn't like the many hours spent away from me, and was impatient for his own turn. Of course okaasan kept him occupied with chores and Sasuke was still attending Setsuna-sensei's lessons like I had. When he wasn't doing either of those things he was usually off training alone or with Kenjiro or our younger cousins.

Personally I didn't think he had much room to complain, but it wasn't like I was able to convince him of that.

A lot of the problem stemmed from Itachi who was spending more time on duty than at home. The clan was very proud of him because he was doing so well, but it still meant Sasuke and I would go weeks without seeing him.

"Your brother was promoted." Okaasan told Sasuke and I vaguely. "He works directly for the Hokage now."

From the varied comments and his new uniform I gathered he was ANBU. Like Shisui.

But he was only eleven.

Though we were really proud of him, in some ways it also made it harder for me and Sasuke.

Itachi graduated at seven, made chūnin at ten and had now entered ANBU. How could we even hope to compete?

Then it was how otousan and Itachi were barely home, and when they were they were usually cooped up together, doing clan training and duties which was only for the clan head and heir.

I think that was why Sasuke had gotten so possessive of my time. He was worried I would get too busy for him as well. So I tried to make sure we had training sessions together at least a few times each week. Showing Sasuke what I had learned was a sure way to draw his mind off the odd changes in our family dynamic. Neither of us really knew why it was happening or what we could do about it, but we were still feeling the effects.

So instead we trained, trying to do our best to catch up, no matter how fruitless it usually felt.

When I left the academy a couple months later I was for once not walking with Yoko and Taiko, because I had a session with Shisui to get to.

After our conversation he had been busy away on missions, and it wasn't before this morning I heard he had time to train me. So I was heading directly for my favourite training spot.

It was one of the gravel grounds, though this particular one was bit out of the way and most preferred to use the larger ones at the other end of the compound.

But it was perfect for the youngest Uchihas in the clan, who took full advantage of being able to train without having to worry about damaging something we shouldn't.

The place was relatively secluded, at the edge of the Uchiha district, and it had long since become somewhat of a habit for Yoko, Taiko and I to go there for afternoon training or just to hang out. Sasuke and some of the younger clan members would usually join us too, but as the three of us had mostly the same schedule it was natural us to meet regularly.

As Konoha's population mostly consisted of ninjas, there were a lot of dojos and training grounds. A large percentage were owned by the village and available for all ninjas, but additionally there were those under the jurisdiction of either a clan or in some cases – families. The grounds owned by the village were designed for optimal use, to make them both available and usable for as many ninjas as possible. This made them pretty boring. Usually plain grassy fields or grounds with few obstacles in the way.

The clan training grounds were another matter. Usually shaped and groomed to specific qualifications so the areas could simulate certain tasks or activities necessary to train specific skill sets. The Uchiha clan had ten clan grounds and three dojos to our name, but it varied from clan to clan. The Inuzuka had thirteen fields, some of them including huge obstacle courses which could take hours to complete, used for evasion and tracking practise with ninken.

When I listened to okaasan explain this I was amused to learn the clan with the largest amount of training grounds was - ironically enough - the Nara. Which was funny because I wouldn't have guessed it.

What flipped the scale was actually not several grounds, but one particular large ground. They had five well sized fields in total but the largest was the Nara Forest. Forbidden to outsiders and closely guarded. Which I found a little sad as I had only been allowed to see it from the outside.

But the Nara Forest was an exception in many ways. It was an unwritten rule for Clan grounds to be lent out to certain divisions. The Inuzuka regularly lent out their training grounds to Konoha's tracking division for members to gain experience. Though it wasn't limited to divisions or squads either. If you asked nicely a clan would probably allow you to borrow their grounds, though you had to take care while you were there.

The village also had several "gravel-grounds" spread out throughout the districts for that reason, which were basically practise fields where you could go jutsu-wild. It was the "free for all" of training grounds, where the terrain was already so destroyed there was no saving it, so ninjas used it to practise more destructive techniques or for more terrain damaging sparring sessions.

Which was why damaging the other grounds was so frowned upon.

Apparently Shisui and a Sarutobi classmate had once borrowed an Akimichi training ground and managed to blow up a larger part of the field by accident. I still remember how angry otousan was when he heard of that. That was three years ago and Shisui and his friend were still banned for another couple of months from any and all Akimichi grounds and dojos for that stunt.

Luckily for Shisui he was still allowed into their restaurants, though only as long as he refrained from any future fuinjutsu practise there.

And speaking of the sun.

Shisui was standing by the target posts, and-

"Are you painting the target rings?" I asked curiously. Shisui had a brush in one hand and the white paint in the other and was currently redrawing the rings on the post.

"This has been left to wear for too long. I know it's just you kids who use this place anymore, but that's no reason to let perfectly good target posts go to waste." shisui replied as he finished the circle.

I'll give him credit. The fresh paint had covered all the stains and flaked patches, and the bright marks against the dark trunk made it almost illuminate in the sun. I scratched the back of my ear and fought the urge to squint when looking directly at it. No one would have problems spotting the target at least.

"Are you done yet? Or are you here to train me or for a D rank mission?"

Shisui straightened and grinned at me. He put the brush in the paint and placed them to rest on top of the post.

"Who say I can't do both? Have you never heard of multitasking, Jun-chan?"

I huffed and would have probably answered with some sharp comment when I noticed the fresh paint was changing colour to green.

I started. He had cast a genjutsu on me!

I put my hands together and disrupted my chakra.

Shisui's smile widened. "Are you free yet?"

I looked at the post, which had snapped back to white.

I opened my mouth, but found I couldn't speak anymore.

Shisui's eyes were spinning, turning from deep black to red, and behind him the colours of the painted rings were doing the same.

His eyes had turned into the Sharingan, the three tomoe in each eye rotating. I wasn't' in control of myself anymore. Couldn't even feel myself as his eyes grew larger, or was I getting closer?

I was falling into his eyes as his Sharingan changed shape - turning into a four pointed pinwheel.

I fell into it. I was in the middle of the pinwheel, the pupil of the Sharingan, and there was red all around me and around me.

The black pinwheel spun faster and faster.

I was dizzy, trapped and unable to react. The pinwheel was going so fast it was nearly blurring, and it was then I realized it wasn't a pinwheel at all - it was a fuma shuriken.

_"Let's start this lesson then."_

Shisui's voice was coming from everywhere.

_"Advanced genjutsu can allow the caster full control of the target's senses."_

I watched the spinning shuriken blur like a wheel, going so fast it was impossible to make out. The sound of wind whipping was sharp in my ears.

I was in the eye of a whirlwind, and that was kind of cool. I suddenly had the urge to laugh. This was kind of funny,

Except no, this was terrifying. I snapped from happy to scared so fast it couldn't possibly be natural.

_"_ _It isn't limited to physical sensations. It can also decide what you are to feel emotionally."_

I looked up, and was struck numb as I finally realized that the sky wasn't red. It was a mirror. It was the ground which was red, with the spinning fuma shuriken holding me captive in the middle.

Then the sky started sinking.

The world shook, and the shuriken spun so fast it was creating sparks. The screech reached an ear splitting pitch, and in a flash of sparks it burst into flames. I was in a ring of fire.

I couldn't move, but I didn't need to. I just needed to disrupt my chakra, but my emotions were clouding my own sense of self. Dragging my attention away, I couldn't feel my own body, far less know what was my chakra and what was my flesh and blood.

_"It can override your sensations, making you unable to break free even when you know you are under a genjutsu."_

The sky was falling faster and faster as the flames were rising. It was going to collide.

The world shattered.

The red was gone, and I was laying sprawled on my stomach in the gravel ground, it was midday and Shisui was studying me.

I was breathing fast, sweating, shaking and my pulse was rocketing. But I had control of myself again, I could speak, feel my own body and hear the sound of wind, rustling leaves and Konoha in the distance.

I looked up slowly, apprehensive about meeting his eyes again. He was leaning against the side of the target post, arms crossed and head tilted to the side.

His eyes were black.

"That wasn't very pleasant, was it? I'm sorry. Here, let me help you up." Shisui said, an apologetic smile on his lips as he moved forwards to help me up. I sighed, a bit frustrated with myself for having fallen for it so easily.

I accepted the hand and let him help me up. I scratched the back of my ear nervously when he gave my hair a ruffle. "Don't worry." Shisui said kindly. "You'll learn how to handle these with time. For now however..." his smile widened. _"You really shouldn't think you are free just because it appears that way."_

The world snapped again.

I clutched my heart as I was once again displaced. This time I was still by the gravel ground but in a different spot. I was on the forested path, right before the last corner to the secluded little training spot.

I franticly disrupted my chakra again and again.

I wanted this to stop, and the chakra was nearly pouring out of me.

"Oy! Stop it, or you'll drain yourself of chakra..." Shisui cried as he came running around the corner.

Nothing had changed, and the complexity of everything was… more. "Is this real?" I asked quietly.

Shisui stopped before touching me. He nodded. "I promise. This is real."

I walked forwards carefully, my eyes strained on his. They were normal.

"When did you genjutsu me?" I asked quietly.

Shisui fell into step with me as we turned the corner, and I saw the gravel ground with the training posts at the other end.

There were no new paint on them. They looked as they had for the last three years.

"Oh… You hit me from a distance?" I guessed. "We didn't speak at all did we?" I asked, glancing between the posts and Shisui.

He nodded. "Correct."

I was angry. That had been pretty scary and honestly; a little traumatizing. "Why?" I demanded.

"Because you needed to experience it." Shisui replied with a simple shrug. He wasn't apologetic at all, and I slumped. He had a point.

"Your training with Setsuna-sensei has allowed you a lot of experience with one type of genjutsu, so I wanted to show you the other approach. Controlled illusions." Shisui explained, and sat down cross legged on the ground. He patted the spot next to him for me to join. I did, still a little shaky but determined to get as most out of this as possible. Even if it would be scary.

"What does genjutsu such as the hell viewing technique and the Sly Mind Affect Technique have in common?" Shisui asked.

They were both genjutsus Setsuna-sensei had demonstrated on me. The first showed your greatest fear, something I hadn't liked and snapped out of nearly immediately, and the second disoriented you, throwing off your sense of direction. I had walked in a circle for three entire minutes before I realized something was not right. Let's just say Setsuna-sensei had not been impressed that time.

"They're both… um..." I wasn't sure what answer he wanted. "suggestive?" I tried.

Shisui gave a so-and-so waggle of his hand. "Calling them suggestions isn't wrong. They are genjutsu that has the target create most of what they see on their own. Attacks that tricks the mind into creating scenarios. The hell viewing technique especially. After you have cast it on a target, what your victim see's is completely out of your hand. You don't know, and so you have little fine control over the result."

"Right." I knew all of that already, but I wasn't sure what Shisui was getting at.

"What I did to you just now was the opposite. I had complete control of everything you saw, touched, smelled, heard and felt. In the beginning you didn't even notice that what you saw was an illusion, what you felt was what I wanted you to feel, nor that your very words weren't your own." Shisui grinned. "Not before I made it very, very obvious that I was controlling it. In a way you were not trapped inside your own mind - you were trapped in mine. That's an easy way to distinguish between the two approaches. One traps a victim inside their own head, the other traps you inside the attacker's head. Both has advantages and disadvantages."

I nodded. That actually made sense. Shisui's genjutsu had been very different from the ones Setsuna-sensei had been throwing at me.

"I couldn't break out." I said.

"You will with time." Shisui reassured me. "This was the first time you were exposed to that kind of genjutsu, so of course you struggled."

He clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "But that's why we're here, isn't it? To improve? Let's see what you make of my favourite branch of jutsu; controlled genjutsu."

It was going to be a long afternoon. And he hadn't even activated his Sharingan yet.


	3. The Before and After - Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the mistakes. This chapter is not beta'd and English is not my native language.

_The Before and After - Part 3_

The day Sasuke started the academy otousan couldn't come.

My otouto put on a brave face, but we could all see it bothered him, otousan most of all. But the work at the police station had been picking up, and even okaasan was running a lot of clan errands. It was just a bad misfortune it collided with Sasuke's entrance ceremony, but the rest of us managed to make it.

Okaasan had to leave midway through, though at least she had been able to walk us there and see Sasuke stand with his new year mates - which there were a lot of.

"Sasuke's year is really big." I said, sounding confused even to myself as I watched the rows of children. I'm pretty sure the number of kids in Sasuke's year was closer to six classes in contrast to my year where we had four.

Itachi chuckled and glanced down at me. "That's because he is part of the post war generation." He explained. "And it's not Sasuke's class that is large, it is yours that is small."

"Huh?" Was my eloquent reply.

"You were born at a time Konoha experienced an unnatural low number of childbirths. Especially within the ninja ranks. When war breaks out a lot of civilians may get hasty, marry and have children while they still can, but ninjas are a bit different. For one a lot of kunoichi felt honour bound and some was even ordered to wait until they weren't required on the battlefield before they started a family. Then there were those who didn't want to bring children into such an uncertain situation, when we didn't know if we would win the war or not. Sasuke's class is large because they were born after we won, and more people could afford to focus on their families."

I glanced from Sasuke to Itachi, and my next question must have been obvious to my oniisan. He chuckled. "Okaasan was already pregnant before the war was official, and by the time I was old enough for okaasan to return to active duty most of our clan was out of the village fighting. As a jōnin and the matriarch she was ordered to remain at home and run the police station while otousan was on the boarders. She was also a last line of defence in case the worst happened and we lost." He clarified.

"I see." I hadn't known that, but I guess it made sense.

Itachi's expression became a little wistful. "I was a war child and Sasuke a peace child."

I crossed my arms at that. "What does that make me?"

"Unexpected." Itachi replied, and laughed at my affronted gasp.

Then we both looked up at the sound of our otouto's name being called.

Sasuke had just been sorted into a class led by Iruka-sensei, and was now hurrying over to his group of new classmates, barely able to keep his excitement under control. He was followed a moment later by a bouncing, blonde blur of limbs named Uzumaki.

Itachi and I were able to watch until the end of the ceremony, but then I had to run off to my first class right afterwards.

Though we weren't in the same year I was kind of eager to have Sasuke at the academy. I was looking forwards to showing him the good seats in the courtyard, the best place to hide if the kids got too loud and which practise pole was the best for target practise. For the first time in a year we were back on the same schedule, as outside chores Sasuke had only attended Setsuna-sensei's lessons until very recently, and had often complained about how I was gone almost as much as oniisan.

So at the end of the day I found Sasuke in the yard and we walked home together. I listened as he listed off everything that had happened that day from introductions, stretching to a game of "troops and hoops". It sounded very much like my own first day.

Sasuke took well to starting the academy and adjusted within a few days. He was determined to prove himself to otousan, but to our shared disappointment he wasn't home much.

When he was otousan brought his work home with him, and he had become more stressed and silent as well. Dinners were usually for three instead of five, and though they were lively meals with Sasuke speaking our ears off about his lessons, progress or classmates, we were all aware of the two empty seats even if no one usually mentioned it.

"-and then the dobe Naruto challenged me, and I told him to go away, he's so loud and I'm much better than him. He said if he beat me he'd be best, but he's still annoying and he'd never win anyway." Sasuke was saying a few months later during dinner.

Unlike me Sasuke didn't have any clear competition for best of the year - he was an outliner. I'm not sure if he actually was that much better or if the competition wasn't as steep as for me. It may be both or neither for all I knew. He had more clan kids in his year though, so I was leaning towards Sasuke being just that good for his age.

Instead he had a gaggle of jealous underdogs and avid admirers. His social life seemed very different than mine after somehow becoming the king of the class without even trying to. I wasn't even sure how. We were both Uchihas at the top of our year. Maybe it was because my ranking wasn't as secure as his, or perhaps it was as simple as me being a girl and he a boy.

"Careful Sasuke, you're eating too fast." Okaasan chided Sasuke as he nearly inhaled his dinner whole.

"But I have to hurry!" He exclaimed, glancing up from his bowl.

"Why?" I asked amused, even if I knew the answer already. Sasuke's goal in life had become to beat Itachi, and so every hour not training was an hour wasted.

"Going to the gravel ground of course. I won't get better than ani without training." Sasuke replied with a; "of course, you moron" kind of tone.

"Even if you swallow that entire bowl you're still going to sit there and wait until everyone is finished before going anywhere." Okaasan scolded him with narrowed eyes.

Sasuke pouted, but slowed down. "You'll get cramps if you train too early." I reminded him with a grin.

"I know how to pace myself." Sasuke defended himself.

"Have you finished your homework?" Okaasan enquired, which Sasuke nodded to eagerly.

"Yes, I did them with oneechan." He gestured towards me with a bop of his head while I confirmed it with a distracted "mhm".

"Before you go, remember that it's also your turn to do the dishes, Sasuke." Okaasan said pointedly, and my otouto sunk further in his chair, his cheeks puffed in frustration.

After a moment's hesitation I offered up a boon as an incentive for good behaviour. "When you're done I'll come along." I had planned to go running, because when I trained with Sasuke the focus was usually pretty one sided on him.

Sasuke perked up again, his grin widening. "Really? Can we spar?" He asked at once, though it sounded more like a demand.

"I was actually thinking we could do some genjutsu. I need a target." I tried to make my sharp grin ominous, but it only caused Sasuke to pout.

"Please, oneechan, can't we do genjutsu another time? Pretty please? Iruka-sensei demonstrated a grapple move in class and I want to show I can use it during sparring on Wednesday." He pleaded, making his eyes big and his face as innocent as a harmless kitten.

Those who thought Sasuke wasn't aware of how cute he was were idiots. He knew perfectly well he looked adorable, and as a younger sibling had capitalized on that for years.

"Fine." I grumbled, making Sasuke beam and okaasan laugh at how I had been outmanoeuvred so easily.

Halfway into the year the academy organized a village expedition for my class. It was part of what they called the "career week."

Most of us were confused the first time Funeno-sensei mentioned this, seeing as the whole point of going to the academy made it pretty obvious you were aiming for the occupation of a ninja.

It turned out that was a very narrow minded way of thinking. There were several different fields of study within the ninja occupation, which was the point of the career week.

I met up Monday morning at the academy armed with only my notebook, pencil and bento, dressed for a day strolling around the village instead of classes.

There was a quick call of the students to make sure everyone were present, before we were divided into four groups. To my disappointment Yoko and Taiko were in another group, while I got stuck with a group I didn't regularly speak to, one of whom was Hyūga Neji, though at least Shiho was there and our guide was Funeno-sensei.

Our sensei took us aside to explain the week's agenda. We would spend the Monday visiting several of the public buildings, and Funeno-sensei spent just enough time to make sure everyone had everything they needed, and to not even think of wandering off (or we'd get hell to pay), before leading us out of the academy gates for our first location.

The first stop was the Police Station, where I excitedly realized none other than Otousan was the one to welcome us. He gave a short presentation where he explained what the police did for Konoha and what went into being an officer. I knew most of it, but there was still something fiercely proud in me who thrilled to be able to point at the Captain of the Police and tell my classmates; "That's my otousan."

Like always otousan was busy and soon had to return to work after the introductions, but it was only so Inabi ojisan could take over. He came over with several files we were allowed to see, which included recent reports of theft, fights and vandalism. He explained these incidents were regular occurrences, as ninjas were an eccentric bunch, and most complaints went to the Police to fix.

"As you can see here," Inabi said, holding up a yellow file with the word "Vandalism" stamped on the front. "When we are not dealing with hard crimes like murders or infiltration we see a lot of different incidents. Not nearly as serious but still necessary to sort out so our village runs smoothly. Cases such as this." He opened a random file and read aloud. "Monday the 2nd July jōnin Might Gai and jōnin Hatake Kakashi was apprehended at Ramen Ichiraku by officers Uchiha Inabi and Uchiha Tekka after reported sighting of vandalism, backed up by 50+ eyewitnesses."

He flipped over the page and continued reading in a bored voice."Statements from injured parties claims two ninjas disrupted the south market around 09.30 with a large explosion of orange juice and racing summoning animals, (conflicting reports claim they were rolling rocks/turtles/large snails/boar or dogs), which caused extensive damage to six booths and one carriage, while a food store was broken into and robbed by a small pig (dog/pug?). No extensive injuries or casualties. Parties were taken into custody but plead not guilty as the damages were unintentional. They are fined to pay 5000 ryo to the village for disrupting the peace, including the cost of any damage repairs required in recompense after the incident to the injured parties."

He showed us the report by holding it up. "We have it all neatly packed up in these accounts from the victims, the accused and from the witnesses." I noticed at the bottom corner there was a note with; _"Hatake escaped custody."_ which appeared to have been written in a harsher than necessary script.

Inabi ojisan picked up a thick separate file with the word "Witnesses account" stamped on it, and that was just for that one case. It had been a lot of people around apparently.

When we left a couple of hours later I was still unsure if Police officer was truly the right path for me. I had always dreamed of working in the field like the missions okaasan had told me about growing up.

After lunch we strolled over to the Hospital where a stunning woman with dark red hair and kind emerald eyes was waiting for us.

"Welcome to Konoha General Hospital! My names Susu and I'm a post-operative nurse here at the east wing. I'll be giving you a tour of the building and explain some of the day-to-day procedures here at the Hospital. Don't be afraid to ask questions, that's why I'm here and I'll do my very best to answer." Her smile was like a rising sun when she beamed at us, but when she glanced over the group her eyes caught on someone in the back.

"Oh, Shiho darling! Hello!"

Everyone turned around in unison to where Shiho waved back shyly. "Hello okaasan."

"Oh, I was worried I wouldn't get your group! Your friend Yoko-chan was in the previous group with Suzume-sensei before lunch and Kimiko-san was their guide. But I had no idea when your group was scheduled to come I feared I might miss you and not get to show you around-" She stopped herself abruptly, seeming to realize she was getting off track and waved her hand dismissively, "Oh, but never mind that. Everything turned out perfectly. Let's go!

I looked back and forth, trying to spot any resemblance between Susu the bubbly nurse and my normally invisible classmate. I honestly didn't see many.

Susu gave an energetic tour of the main parts of the hospital, including the reception, ER, the lunch room and some patient rooms. She explained what it entailed to be a healer and the different specialisations. Susu worked mainly with those who came out of surgery, which was a critical time in a patient's recovery. Especially for ninjas who could become paranoid, offensive and aggressive when awaking in an unknown place. They were often injured and drugged, which wasn't a good combination for someone with a ninja's mindset.

Susu explained all this in a cheery and upbeat voice, which for some reason had me comparing her to a particularly eager chipmunk.

The woman gestured towards one of the patient rooms. "-which is why I have to keep in shape. Half my job is to hold down ninjas to make sure they don't injure themselves or any other party while recovering. I have to react fast when a ninja wakes up only to try strangle the closest person with the bandages which was supposed to keep them from bleeding out. Before I switched to nursing I was a chūnin working in the ambush squad."

To my left Tenten raised her hand in the air, and Susu called for her to ask her question. "Why did you quit the ambush squad?"

Susu smiled warmly. "Well I married and had Shiho! Switching to nursing was so I could raise darling Shiho. Becoming a healer take four years, while a nurse position takes about a year if you graduated with the right scores from the academy. It worked out well for us, right Shiho?"

Shiho gave a small "mhm." And nodded, still at the back of the group.

She then clapped her hands and switched instantly from "doting mother" to "energetic tour guide nurse" again. "Which means we can talk about other positions within the hospital. Being nurse or a healer are very general definitions, and don't take into account the many variations. You have mind healers, orthopaedic healers, general healers and cardiac healers -" Susu continued explaining what the different healers did with gusto.

Several had questions about field medics, which was the hardest position to aim for, but also the most prodigious and competitive. Tenten was unusually inquisitive, and asked good questions so I didn't have to.

By the end of the day our sensei walked us back to the academy before we were dismissed.

On Tuesday we met up at the north gate, and thanks to the success of our first outing I was actually a little excited for what we would get to see next.

Perhaps I should have realized the answer to that simply by where we were scheduled to meet, as the whole of Tuesday was spent on patrol duty.

Basically the group trailed a couple of chūnin during their border patrol route. They were a bit unprepared, but explained the best they could. There was the village walls which was a physical boarder and what most liked to think of as the village defence, but it was hardly the only thing keeping the village safe.

There was the barrier team, who used a type of fuinjutsu to catch more mystical attacks and spy techniques. Then there were the outer boarder, which was a guarded perimeter with several posts a few miles outside the village. Though mostly our group spent the day walking back and forth along the tall wall, listening to a couple of chūnins bicker about which one would take next week's night shift now that someone was hospitalized and who had stolen a bento box the day before.

By Wednesday everyone had gotten into the rhythm of travelling in groups, and made it out of the academy in record time. Though we didn't have to walk far to reach our latest destination, namely the administration buildings of Konoha.

The academy contained the mission assignment desk and several administration functions as well. There were passages that led directly up to the Hokage tower. Still, none of us had ever been allowed into the other part of the building which was carefully guarded. We were guided through the unusually quiet halls of the Hokage building and I didn't think I was the only one to feel as if we had crossed some invisible line by doing so.

Ninjas were walking back and forth in the corridor, all of them with a clear direction in mind. We were told to keep in a single file so we wouldn't clutter up the hallway while Funeno-sensei guided us through the maze like structure with ease.

Funeno-sensei shepherded us back up the staircase and through several hallways until we reached a reception desk where a smiling kunoichi was waiting. The woman stood up and gave our group a friendly smile.

"Welcome. You can go right ahead. Hokage-sama is expecting you." She said while gesturing towards the door further down the hallway.

Our sensei nodded while the kids erupted into hushed whispers.

"We'll get to meet Sandaime-sama?"

"Hokage-sama?"

"Oh, I can't believe we'll meet the Hokage."

I didn't whisper like the others, but my posture did straighten the way it usually would whenever Setsuna-sensei observed my techniques.

Our sensei showed the way, leading the group of nervous and fidgeting children into a larger office with wide windows that gave a beautiful overview of the village. In front of the windows was a desk with several stacks of papers in neat piles. The Hokage himself stood with his hands folded behind his back, dressed in the Hokage attire with a warm welcoming smile on his weathered face.

I had only seen him a couple times before. When he gave the welcome speech during the entrance ceremony both when I started the academy and when Sasuke began this year. But now I was much closer - only a couple of steps away from the man praised as a God amongst ninjas.

Which is why it surprised me how short he was. Funeno-sensei wasn't particularly tall either, but compared to the Sandaime he seemed that way. In the last few years the Sandaime's hair had turned white and his wrinkles had become more pronounced. All in all the man didn't look the part of his reputation.

It amused me to no end.

The Hokage took the time to show us his personal office and the meeting rooms on the same floor. The kids were beside themselves with excitement at being given a tour by the village leader, and even I couldn't help but get affected too.

Next we headed down the stairs to the floor below. This was where the members of the council and high ranking officials had offices, and we were once again reminded to be very quiet so not to disturb anyone. We quietly made our way to the middle of the hallway, where Funeno-sensei stopped in front of a door to knock.

I thought I heard a chair scrape against the floor as someone stood up. Their steps slow and dragging - as if they couldn't be bothered to lift up their feet for each step. By the time they reached the door, Funeno-sensei had been about to knock again when it finally creaked ajar.

The person inside had dark hair pulled into a spiky ponytail and wore the standard Konoha uniform with a deerskin coat hanging off his shoulders. His tanned face was scarred, yet his half drooping eyes and bad posture gave the impression he was about to fall asleep on his feet. His hands were tucked into the pockets of his trousers, and it looked like it physically pained him to stay upright. "Mah, you're earlier than I expected. Come inside everyone."

The group filed in, our heads twisting curiously around the office.

Funeno-sensei gathered everyone's attention by clapping his hands together twice. "Everyone, this is the jōnin commander of Konoha and the Nara clan head; Nara Shikaku-dono. He's agreed to tell you a little about how the system work and what he does here at the Hokage tower in his day to day job."

"Yo." The Nara said, his voice deep and rumbling while he gave a lazy wave of his hand. "As your sensei said, my name is Shikaku and I'm part of the Nara clan. My job is to organize the higher ranked troops and make recommendation to optimise the chance of mission success. To make sure high paying missions receive the right ninjas for the task."

Shikaku took his time glancing at each of us in turn before asking a direct question. "Can any of you tell me what sort of mission ranking we use in Konoha?"

About half the group raised a hand in the air, and Shikaku gestured lazily in Shiho's direction. The girl started answering at once. "The mission ranks tells you how difficult a mission is. Starting at the lowest rank, which is D, then you have C, B and A which is considered the highest difficulty, and therefore the most expensive one. Though I've also heard of S rank. But that's supposed to be like… a super mission."

Shikaku grinned and nodded. "Yeah, pretty much accurate." He turned and picked up a piece of paper, pointing at the "A" written at the upper left corner. "I mostly deal with A rank missions or higher. I get the specifications and try to put together the most efficient team for the job. It all depends on the available mission details and any additional knowledge we can gather. My job is to predict worst case scenarios and try to prevent them by making sure our ninjas aren't sent on a mission above their capabilities. When you graduate the academy you will start on D rank missions. With experience you will eventually get higher ranked missions, which pays better but is also more difficult."

"Is it a hard job? Making sure people get to the right place?" Asked one of the kids at the front.

"It can be. I'm not always giving enough nor correct information. Sometimes situations change, and sometimes clients lie about the rank of the mission in hopes of paying less. I also have a lot of subordinates to order around. Making sure I'm up to date with my ninja takes up a lot of time too."

Shiho asked again. "how many is that? It can't be that many, can it?" She wondered aloud.

Shikaku tilted his head, and I thought it might have been in a challenge, before he addressed the entire group. "Please, can anyone tell me how many ninjas Konoha accepts into our ranks on a yearly basis?"

No one had a reply, though some had started counting on their fingers. Trying to figure out of how many students there was in their year at the academy.

"A hundred?" Suggested Lee, but I wasn't so sure if that was right.

"No." Shikaku said, his tone teasing. "No one has an estimate? What if I said Konoha currently has around 130000 active ninjas on the mission roster."

I tried to think about it, as I had actually heard otousan mention this before. He was talking about the percentage of chūnin, genin and jōnin and comparing it to the forces in Kumo during dinner. He had been talking to okaasan and Itachi of course, but I had been right there eating in the chair next to them. I wouldn't call it eavesdropping when he knew I was listening. Slowly I raised a hand.

"Yes." He said, nodding in my direction.

"Um… around 750 to 800? Each year?" I guessed, biting my bottom lip.

Shikaku's eyes lit up, his smirk turning crooked. "A good guess. And you're right. On a regular basis we introduce 800 new ninjas into the military forces each year."

"What?!" Shouted Lee, his eyes widening. "But there's barely a hundred students in our year. Where do they all come from?"

Shikaku gave a nod to his point. "There's several other ways to become a ninja than you might think. There's the schools in the villages close to Konoha, such as Shukuba Town, who has their own educational facilities. Generally the graduation requirement is easier because the staff has less resources than we do in Konoha, but those who finishes are recognized as genin of Konoha and are given the duty of protecting their homes and boarders. If war breaks out they are required to defend Konoha and Fire Country the same as anyone who graduates our own academy. They wear the Konoha hitai ate and because these towns are under our protection, so are they a part of our forces. Then we have those clans who train their members without sending their kids to the academy. We also have several different apprentice programs, and more secretive systems in place for special agents."

He turned around and gestured towards the stack of papers on his desk. "Keeping track of everyone is a very large part of the logistics division, who I closely cooperate with. Planning, coordinating, utilizing and having up to date info on all our soldiers is a full time job."

"Though I am only in charge of keeping track of the highest ranked ninjas in the village, and also the smallest group. Namely the jōnin, which makes up about a little more than 21% of our total forces. Currently the number of active jōnin is 5243. Though that does not include those on health leave, retired or for some other reason is off the active roster."

"How can he look after so many people? Funeno-sensei can't even keep our academy class in line for more than an hour." I had whispered it to Shiho, but from the way Shikaku's smirk widened, and Funeno-sensei glared in my direction, it hadn't been quiet enough.

Luckily I didn't get into immediate trouble, as Shikaku continued as if I hadn't spoken. "Of course, the jōnin are separated into two groups. Can anyone tell me what they are?"

Makaro raised his hand eagerly. "Jōnin and ANBU?" he asked, which got him a chuckle and shake of the head.

"No, I'm sorry. You don't actually need to be jōnin to be in ANBU."

Another raised their hand, and Neji – of course – gave the right answer this time. "Jōnin and tokubetsu jōnin."

"Exactly. In simple terms that is the difference between specialists and generalists, though Jōnin is the higher ranked of the two."

I raised my hand, and he nodded in my direction. "You said 21% of the forces were under your control, but what's the difference between tokubetsu jōnin and jōnin? Which group is larger?"

Shikaku hummed at my question, his fingers combing through his goatee. "There are more tokubetsu jōnin than to jōnin. Jōnin is the elite, the leaders of the village, and few are physically capable of reaching the strenuous demands of that rank."

"But you're the jōnin commander. Does that make you like… a super jōnin?" The question was asked with all the innocence of an eight year old, and the kid seemed genuinely curious.

Shikaku chortled. "Um… No. I'm a regular jōnin in terms of strength. However, I was saddled with this job because I've proven to be good at placing the right people at the right place at the right time. It's one big juggling act to make sure our forces are where they're supposed to be. That's why I have been given the authority to command the jōnin."

I couldn't say I envied Shikaku's job. To me it sounded awfully boring. More like a paper pusher ninja than anything else.

"Okay class, any last questions before we leave Shikaku to his work?" Asked Funeno-sensei.

"Please ask away. The more you ask about, the more I can delay getting back to my paperwork."

Several of the kids laughed at the joke, me included. Though I suspected he was being dead serious.

The rest of the career week went by too quickly for my liking. I would have preferred spending a little more time at the different areas Funeno-sensei showed them.

During the guided tour on Thursday we were shown the secret underground passages in Konoha, following a Hyūga, an Inuzuka and none other than Yashiro ojisan who were in charge of evacuation protocols during a village large emergency.

The passages were amazing, spanning throughout the village and accessible from the strangest of places. One kimono shop had an access door through their changing room, and another was reachable through the trapdoor in the bathroom of a popular barbecue shop. Learning every passage was nearly impossible, because they were constantly updated and rerouted with the help of doton ninjutsu and the barrier teams.

They gave lessons on the different alarms in place, what they sounded like and how active ninjas had to respond to them. It was the villages most effective communication system, and though we had all heard and even learned a lot of the codes it was still interesting to see how they were used in practise and not just the dry theoretical part.

Afterwards we were given a tour of the armoury to see for ourselves the weapon variations and how they were produced. The man in charge told us how they traded with several other villages to get the right materials. It was an interesting expedition, seeing as I never thought much where all the gear came from.

The armoury produced, ordered and shipped everything a ninja of Konoha would need, and the class listened for half an hour to how they made the padding just right for ultimate flexibility while still padded enough to function as armour. The man was a jōnin who retired after the second war, and his gear had been the standard for the last twenty years but he was always eager for some input. At the end of the day we were given a free set of shuriken and kunai.

Souvenirs were always a hit no matter the world, but for a bunch of mercenaries in training pointy weapons were even better. Though Funeno-sensei looked a bit exasperated and banned us from playing with them until class was over.

They saved the best for last in my opinion. Which was the off limit dojos in the village.

As academy student there weren't many accessible training areas available at our access level. The higher you were ranked, the better your clearance got.

The day started with a visit to the lounges. Everyone in the village had heard of them. The genin lounge, the chūnin lounge and the jōnin lounge. As the names implied, the rank decided which lounge you were welcome into. Though they were so much more than the name implied.

The Genin lounge was massive, and included four tall building next to each other stuffed with genin consistently trickling through the doors and windows. The Head of the Genin Corp was stationed there, the Genin dojos, common rooms and even on-call rooms and lockers for those who needed it. There were meeting rooms and a kitchen. All for the Genin to use.

And the same went for chūnin and jōnin, which we were allowed to see a little of as well.

When we visited the jōnin lounge we got a sneak peak at the dojo available to the highest ranking ninjas in the village. The whole class stared wide eyed as a couple of jōnin were doing some light taijutsu sparring.

I had barely been able to keep up with what was going on. Not able to track the fast moving limbs with sight alone.

The jōnin lounge consisted of a single five story building dedicated to the rank - at least from the outside.

Like the other lounges this one held all the communal rooms for jōnin to use if necessary, and I was a little bemused to hear some lived in the building for months at a time before returning home. That some didn't even have another home.

There were also meeting rooms they could rent and even a "black room" where no one was allowed to switch on the light. Apparently it was to practise blind fighting.

We ate lunch outside the Konoha interrogation and terror force division. Funeno-sensei taking a little more time mentioning that Intel shared the building with them when several of the boys wouldn't stop make suggestions about how prisoners were being tortured in there. And despite not being allowed inside it was fascinating to watch the strange people coming and going.

By the end of the week I couldn't argue with the efficiency of the tours. I was already starting to question where I'd want to go myself. Wherever the class had visited, they had all been ninjas. Even the messenger bird trainers had the title of ninja, and usually no lower than chūnin rank.

I talked about it excitedly at home, and understandably Sasuke got pretty excited to do the tour when it was his turn the next year. It was a yearly tour according to otousan, so Sasuke was guaranteed to get to see the same as well.

Though as much as I discussed career paths, something else popped up a couple months later which thoroughly took most of my attention.

"You're going to teach me?" I asked shocked, and otousan nodded from across the table.

"It's time I taught you the Great Fireball technique." He replied simply, and I was nearly bouncing in my seat. Finally! I had been begging for that since I finished my lessons with Setsuna-sensei, but I'd been told my chakra reserves weren't large enough.

"What about me? Can't I learn too? I'm in the academy now, and I can do katon too now!" Sasuke insisted, turning towards otousan hopefully.

"Not yet." He denied. I don't think he meant to be so dismissive, but otousan didn't really understand how to soften his words.

"Come on." He told me and nodded towards the door. "We'll go down to the lake."

I gave Sasuke an apologetic glance, but he refused to look at me. His face showing his disappointment as he sat slumped in his seat.

I changed quickly and followed otousan down to the lake. It was the first time otousan was teaching me ninjutsu, and in fact the first time in years we were training together.

He demonstrated the jutsu fast, the seals so swift I barely caught them.

_Snake – Ram – Monkey – Boar – Horse – Tiger._

A massive fireball erupted from otousan's mouth, rotating above the surface of the water and creating steam.

I swallowed. Pretty sure I would be doing a lot of that with how warm I was about to get.

And that was apparently enough of an explanation for otousan. He gestured towards the edge of the pier. "Now you try."

Nervously I stepped forwards, already focusing on moulding my chakra into katon. I could make fire after being taught by Setsuna-sensei, but there was a difference between being able to light a campfire without matches and create a small meteor of solid flames.

_Snake – Ram – Monkey – Boar – Horse – Tiger._

As I formed the seals I was concentrating hard on how each acted. Making sure the snake pulled the chakra tight, that when moving into the ram it blended, that the monkey built up pressure. When I ended on tiger, the seal which caused eruptions in your chakra, I held it in a moment longer, building up the pressure.

And then I was breathing fire.

It was such a rush. I was like a dragon!

It was a large fire too, but wildly uncontrolled. I had done the seals slowly and it didn't look like a fireball as much as a flailing flamethrower.

Otousan frowned. "You lack focus." He stated bluntly.

I flinched. I had done my best to keep the jutsu together, but then Setsuna-sensei had told me I struggled more with shape manipulation than nature transformation too. And apparently a year into the academy hadn't helped with that.

"Yes, otousan." I replied.

"You need to work hard if you are to follow in Itachi's footsteps." He continued, eyes flickering down to meet mine.

"I will. I can do it." I promised. My throat tight and shoulders stiff. But I wouldn't rest until I had this right.

He nodded and then turned to leave, walking back to the house without a sound.

I turned to the water, my eyes catching my own reflection in the surface.

The girl who stared back looked too small.

It may have been because I was growing older, and as a result my brain had developed enough for me to start making sense of the jumble of disconnected memories I had been experiencing since I was so young - what had made me tell such wild stories growing up. Perhaps that was the reason I began remembering more, recall better details, start making sense of the tangled mess of sounds, pictures and sensations.

To some extent it may be connected, my maturing brain allowed me to process them at least, but I do not believe the memories originated there.

No, I had another suspicion. Because memories are actually pretty physical, and even if I went by the hypothesis this was my soul's second body, that didn't explain why I was able to recall what happened to the last one.

Different types of memories are stored across different regions of the brain. So how could I recollect anything but what I – this body and brain - had experienced?

It didn't make sense at all. Even in this world where there were so many more explanations it was still a mystery. Information and general facts - what happens to you – is what we call "Explicit memories", and they are stored in the hippocampus, the neocortex and the amygdala. While motor memories rely on the basal ganglia and cerebellum, and the human short term memory, such as working memory, rely mostly on the prefrontal cortex. All of which are names that describes part of the spongy collection of the fat, tissue, vessels, neurons, dendrites and axons in the interconnected complexity of a machine that makes up our brain. So it follows that if something happens to even one of these parts it effects the person as a whole.

It's why things like Amnesia, Alzheimer, dementia, – physical illness and injuries in general - can cause memory problems.

My old body was dead, the place where those memories was once stored was ruined beyond repair, and so those memories should have been very, very gone. Which meant I was left with the only option left; that the memories was coming from my soul, which incidently didn't have a brain to store them in at all.

Even if I went with the idea that my soul was an imprint of me and who I once was, it still wasn't bound to the physical limitations of flesh and blood, which meant in some ways it was more enduring, but less personalized. It was proven several times over that it was actually the body that made up; "who you are", over the soul which is more vaguely; "a state of being".

I had theorized this even if I couldn't test or prove it. But the one thing I had going for my theory was the fact that in my old world the soul and body didn't seem to be as connected as they were now. I had not even believed in souls back then, but with how I was raised and taught growing up this time around it was harder to dismiss the spiritual to the same extent. Here there were literally jutsu that could take advantage of souls.

It may be why I was getting so much more inputs from those strange memories once I started chakra exercises.

What is chakra techniques but moulding physical and spiritual energy?

Physical energy was collected from the body's cells and was increased through training, stimulants, and exercise, while spiritual energy originates from the mind's consciousness and was built up by studying, meditation, and experience.

Perhaps the fact I was an Uchiha, which meant I had a natural affinity for Yin release, also counted into this. An energy form which strongest trait is to control imagination and creating form out of nothingness.

So putting it crudely; when I was blending chakra I was basically dragging the spiritual memories of my past life into the cells of my new impressionable body. Making me able to recollect what before had been so vague.

It wasn't clear by any means, but I had noticed the increased amount of dreams and even hallucinations after sessions with Setsuna-sensei. When I was chakra drained my mind would usually be at it's most distracted, because on occasions I would literally be seeing double. One image overlapping or blending with what was physically in front of me.

My family called it my overactive imagination, and had early on caught on to the problem and trained me to remain focused even through distractions. For so long I had thought the same too, they were just pictures in my head. What else could it be?

But eventually the day came when it was too strange, too different and upsetting. I had seen too much - yet more kept coming. These ones not nearly as innocent as stories, gymnastic practise or friends. They had always been a patchwork, and for a while I was playing "connect the dots", trying to figure out where the memory I had just seen fitted into the chronology of things.

It was what had initially sparked my fierce interest in genjutsu - I had wanted to share my stories with my family. What if I could show them what a plane was? What if I could visualize the tale of Titanic the way it was in my head? Though still a possibility, the older I got, the more I was uncertain about doing so.

For one, that type of genjutsu was master level and a long time down the road for me, and second, and perhaps even just as much of an obstacle; the emotional memories were much stronger than the visual ones. The reason they made good verbal tales was because they were richer in description than image. All memories fade with time, and these ones had already felt old when I was a toddler.

Though I experienced a lot of them even while practising the Great Fireball jutsu. Especially with shape manipulation. There was something about forcing chakra into a set form that really didn't agree with me. I'm not speaking about forming katon natured chakra, I didn't struggle with the firepower, I'm talking about making that fire shaped like a ball. As otousan stated so plainly; I lacked focus. At least with this specific type of concentration.

So I had to compensate with a lot of practise and repetitions until I got it right.

But in the end I lived up to my promise, and succeeded with the Great Fireball. Though I ended up showing Itachi and Shisui my results before otousan, as they had been home from their hectic schedule and had found me by the pier in the middle of practise.

"Look!" I had exclaimed, and then hastily shown them the fire jutsu that was looking more and more like a globe and not just wildfire.

"Ah, that got some serious punch, Jun-chan!" Shisui exclaimed and ruffled my hair.

"Very well done, imouto." Itachi agreed, smile small but genuine.

Then I nearly flopped right off the pier and into the lake from exhaustion, but luckily Itachi managed to catch me before I went for a dive.

The months passed and my third year arrived smoothly academically, but with growing tension in the family.

I had long noticed that something wasn't right. Itachi and otousan were disagreeing about something. Okaasan was stressed and since before Sasuke had started the academy we had barely had a family dinner where everyone had been able to attend.

That might have been more normal if we were at war, but clearly we weren't, and I wasn't sure what was wrong. When asked about it okaasan would tell me I was being silly or distract me with explanations that seemed reasonable at the time, but in hindsight would feel pretty weak.

So I did my best not to add to the stress, and with my diligent efforts was still ranking first in class. I had been able to hold it consistently the entire time, but I could never relax in fear of Neji overtaking me. But I was determined not to disappoint my parents, and as a result both Sasuke and I put in a lot of work.

Our cousins couldn't keep up with the rapid, half-mad dashes of progress anymore.

It had gotten to the point where Sasuke was winning against Taiko and Yoko during the half yearly assembly despite being a year younger, and I too was taking on older opponents. So when we trained as a group Sasuke and I were usually designated as instructors instead of contenders, just to keep the peace.

I was on friendly terms with most in my class, excluding the Hyūga of course, but we had come to a silent agreement to have a cold war instead of an open one sometime in the beginning of second year. The point was I didn't spend time with them if given a choice. I still hung out with my cousins instead of any classmates.

As an example; I had been sitting on a row with Shiho since our first week at the academy, and yet it wasn't before now, in our third year, that I was invited to her home.

Sasuke had looked at me strangely when I told him of my plans. This was a new development for him too, and he was annoyed I couldn't come practise like we had done every day that week.

Instead he headed home alongside Kenjiro. Though not in the same class they were in the same year, and both boys had been bad tempered after being told the yearly village expedition was postponed. It was usually held in late summer, but Sasuke's class didn't know when they would get to do the career week, or even if it would be held at all.

Secretly glad to let the two boys get their frustration out on each other, I went with Yoko and Shiho after class.

Yoko was of course the reason I was invited to Shiho's place. She had made pretty good friends with Shiho and the two had started hanging out after school whenever I had to hurry home for extra training or chores.

Yoko had the foresight to get permission from okaasan for me to come along, so at least I wasn't skipping chores, but I still felt very awkward.

I had never been to a none-Uchiha home. And Shiho's family didn't even live in a house, but an apartment.

Though it had two bedrooms, a washing room, bathroom, kitchen and a living room, everything was cramped. My house was very spacious, even amongst the Uchiha I lived in the "big house". But this was even smaller than Taiko's home, and he was an orphan who lived with who okaasan always referred to as his "eternally single" ojisan.

"I'm sorry, I know it's probably not what you're used to. I mean, we don't get clan backing, and okaasan is a nurse and my otousan works mostly on the patrol roster... It's expensive you know?" Shiho was mumbling, but I cut her off before she blustered further.

"It's nice, Shiho. It's very homey."

And I wasn't lying. It did feel very much like a home. Even more than my own, which lately, especially with everyone busy and the atmosphere between otousan and oniisan so strained, had felt empty.

"Really?" Shiho asked.

"Yes. Thank you for inviting me. You must come over to visit at the compound some day."

"Ugh, we can't." Yoko replied before Shiho had a chance to answer. "I already asked otousan. He said that it wasn't a good idea. The clan is really stressed about something, I don't know what, but my parents has been talking a lot lately." She shrugged, indicating she didn't know about what exactly. "So okaasan suggested that for now we visit at Shiho's, or that we just keep hanging out while at the academy."

"Really?" I asked, not having heard of this before. But then again, I had never tried to invite an outsider to the compound. It didn't surprise me as much as it probably should. I hadn't seen an outsider in the Uchiha compound in years, and the clan had been pretty tense lately. Even this morning okaasan had been very distracted, which is probably why she barely registered Yoko's request to let me go to a classmate's house before agreeing.

Yoko nodded, and smiled apologetically at Shiho. "I'm sorry about that. I really wanted you to come join us at the gravel ground. We've been helping out Ume-chan and Kama-kun lately. They're in their first year at the academy and really sweet. I told them all about you and how smart you are, and they really want to meet you."

Shiho flushed, and waved away the apology. "Oh, no problem. It isn't your fault! And I don't mind having you visit me! Come, I'll show you my bedroom."

Shiho's bedroom was small. When you stood in the middle you could reach everything. Bed, nightstand, desk, dresser and a wall long bookshelf stuffed above its recommended capacity. It was actually impressive just how much she had pressed into such a limited space.

She let us in and Yoko fell onto the bed with a familiarity which suggested she'd done it before. Shiho sat down at the desk chair while I remained standing, uncertain what to do until I realized the bookshelf was a good a distraction as any.

After some stunted attempts at starting conversations Yoko managed to mediate enough to have us discuss chakra lessons. It was one of my and Shiho's few common grounds, which is probably why Yoko made the sacrifice to discuss something she disliked herself.

After half an hour discussing chakra theory everything went more smoothly, and two hours later we were out by the training grounds outside Shiho's apartment building, a public one that was shared with the entire street, giggling and doing light acrobatics.

I had been roped into helping Yoko and Shiho with some manoeuvres, and was demonstrating the correct way to do a standing double tuck. Whenever I wasn't doing backflips I was making sure neither of the girls fell on their heads, and it was actually a lot of fun.

Except;

"Bleh!" I spat out another mouthful of hair. I hadn't cut it in a couple of months, which left it well past my shoulders. With its thick and heavy texture it kept slipping out of the ponytail and I was constantly pushing strands out of my face.

Yoko laughed at my grimace, and even Shiho was relaxed enough to chuckle at my expense.

"Agh, I need to cut my hair soon." I grumbled.

"Why haven't you? I've never seen it this long." Yoko mused, running a hand through her own chestnut brown spiky locks. It was wild looking compared to my pin straight hair, but Yoko usually controlled it by pulling it into two cute pigtails.

"Okaasan usually cuts it, but she has been too busy lately." I explained and kicked the ground.

"Really? That's too bad." Shiho said understandably. Her otousan was currently on a week long patrol duty, but somehow I don't think he was busy in the same way my family had been for so long.

It was then Yoko had a brilliant idea. "I know, why don't_ we _cut it?"

And like the idiot I was I eagerly agreed.

One and a half hour later Shiho's okaasan returned home. Susu called from the hallway in a sing song voice, her smile audible in her cheerful greeting. "I'm home! I hope you girls are having fun! I brought ingredients to make teriyaki!"

Shouting between rooms like that was unheard of in my own home, but at the time I was too distracted to really care about anything else but my current catastrophe.

Susu came into the living room with a wide smile as beautiful and lively as the first time I saw her at the hospital, but instantly noticed the tense atmosphere. Her eyes snapped from Shiho's distressed expression, to Yoko's nervous one, to where I sat by the table, strands of black locks sprawled over the surface and horrified eyes staring into a hand mirror.

I looked up in time to see Susu rapidly turn pale.

"Oh girls… _What _did you _do?"_

By the time Yoko and I went home I had decided Susu was a wizard.

Against all odds she had taken the disaster that was my hair and turned it into something presentable.

"At least your hair is thick, and like this the upper layers covers the bald spot in the back." She had mused as she evened out the lengths.

Yoko and Shiho were sitting very quietly on the couch while writing lines.

They were tasked to write;_ "I am a__n academy student to become a__ ninja, not a hairdresser." _Repeatedly until Susu was done fixing my hair. And to make sure they took it seriously she had told them she would check over and grade their calligraphy afterwards.

When asked what my punishment would be Susu had patted my shoulder apologetically and said very gently that the hairdo itself might be more of a lesson than I had deserved.

I could now safely say I had the shortest hair in my family, and I was dreading okaasan's reaction. I was the only one in the family with hair to fall thick and pin straight, and okaasan had always wanted me to grow it out like hers.

After Susu had resuscitated my hair she made dinner, perking the three of us up again. It would almost seem that all this horrible nightmare needed all along was dinner, because everything seemed less dire on a full stomach.

"You look cute. I actually think you suit short hair." Yoko insisted at some point, and I knew her well enough to know it wasn't a complete lie, just a little one, though both Shiho and Susu were quick to agree with her.

"And even if you don't like it, you said it yourself; your hair grows like a weed. It'll be back before you know it." Shiho reminded me.

I had actually complained about that before I handed her the scissor and told her it was better a little too short than too long….

Then Yoko leaned forwards and added as a last bonus. "At least it's not in your face anymore."

Because it was a long walk and late Susu escorted us back, something she would have done anyway, but thanks to my new hairdo she had insisted on apologizing to my parents. I heard her mutter something about not wanting to anger the Uchiha clan head, so I agreed.

However, she wasn't allowed further than the outer gates of the Uchiha compound, where Yashiro ojisan stopped us. "I'm sorry, Susu-san, but I can't let you pass. I'll give Fugaku-taicho your message though." He told her a little too briskly to be polite. He was normally better behaved than that, he wasn't known as a rude person, so his short attitude towards Susu startled me.

"Has something happened?" Susu asked, noticing the tense atmosphere as well as I did. Yoko and I exchanged a look.

For some reason Yashiro ojisan had glanced at me briefly before turning to Susu again. "It's an investigation at the station. I'm sorry, but if it's not urgent I'll have to ask you to leave. I'll make sure the girls get home."

We said goodbye to Susu, thanked her for dinner and saving my hair, before going into the compound. Despite having told Susu he would see us home, when we were inside the compound walls we were basically there, and Yashiro didn't bother follow us to our doors. We were safe within the compound so that would be excessive. I said goodbye to Yoko, and went to face my fate.

There was no need to avoid the inevitable.

Okaasan would be really angry, and the longer I waited the worse it would get.

I opened the door, and was relieved to find she wasn't waiting in the hallway. I'm not sure why she would have been, but she always knew when I had done something wrong. Growing up I've never been able to get away with anything.

Today she was waiting for me in the kitchen.

I took off my sandals and noted otousan's larger ones already standing on the stack. It stood out, because so rarely did I arrive home after him. I thought I heard deep voices in the living room, and guessed he had visitors there.

There were no need to disturb them, so instead I swallowed and walked through the hallway towards the kitchen where the door stood ajar. Pushing it open I peeked inside.

My okaasan was sitting by the dining table. Her face turned out the window as if waiting for someone. Sasuke sat opposite her with several books open, but was twiddling with his pencil.

Procrastinating or just bored?

Okaasan glanced up as I stepped in. Her gaze swept over me once, before snapping back up to my hair. She blinked.

Then her eyes fell to mine, and we looked at each other for a long moment, her mouth in a stern line.

Okaasan sighed, and then finally spoke. "Junko."

Her voice was different than I had expected. Neither angry or disappointed.

It was hesitant.

Sasuke's head jerked up, finding me standing in the kitchen. His eyes were blotchy and red.

"Yes?" I asked, and just like that my worries shifted.

She stood up slowly, her hands clutched at her side. "Jun-sweetling … I have some bad news. It's about Shisui. I'm so sorry darling. We found his body this morning. He is dead."

And with those words my world started crumbling.

Shisui's funeral wasn't my first, and not just because I had attended several as a baby.

I had asked this question when Yuki obasan died on a mission when I was five. Back then Okaasan told me the first funeral I went to was for a cousin named Obito, and afterwards a dozen followed as it had been the climax of the Third War.

We had also lost a few Uchiha in the Kyuubi attack - three officers who had been patrolling in the village centre and had the Kyuubi literally dropped straight onto them. It was a small number compared to other clans though, as I had heard the Inuzuka lost thirteen, and the Akimichi had lost fifteen.

The thing was I didn't remember that as clearly. The one I recalled was Yuki obasan's, and that was so long ago I had since grown out of the funeral attire I had worn. I recalled that it had been painful and I still thought of her whenever I passed the equipment storage which had once been the small teahouse she ran with her brothers.

And though I had cried hard for Yuki it had been nothing compared to this.

I wore a new black dress for Shisui. He may not have been my aniki, but that had not stopped him from loving me like his imouto.

He had been family, my favourite cousin, my senpai and it hurt so much.

The whole clan showed for the funeral along a few villagers. I stood at the front with okaasan on one side and Sasuke at the other. Otousan was holding the ceremony but Itachi stood at the very back, his face like a statue.

The entire assembly was tense and grew more so when the Hokage arrived. He didn't stand at the front as would be fitting of his stature. Instead he remained to the side with a small assembly of ninjas as the ceremony began, serious and attentive.

When otousan began his speech I drifted in and out of attention. My ears strangely muffled as I tried to grasp the concept of a future without Shisui.

My clan didn't cry in public, not even for a funeral, it wasn't our way. Our grief usually ran deep and so it was done in private. Yet a funeral is always sad, and the younger clan members weren't as emotionally controlled as the adults, but we did our best.

Sasuke was glossy eyed, two rows behind me Yoko's lips were trembling and Taiko's face was pinched, though they managed to hold it in. I was doing the same, but only until I heard the heartbroken sob from little Ume. She was only a couple of years younger than me, and she had adored Shisui too.

The sound of her weeping made my fragile control break.

My traitorous tears came and once they started I couldn't stop it. My okaasan touched my shoulder, her hand warm and soothing as she tried to comfort me. Sasuke took my hand, his palm clammy yet reassuring around mine. With those points of contact I was able to come back to myself, though my eyes were blotchy and my nose red.

It wasn't a long ceremony, and soon we were laying flowers on Shisui's grave. It was a beautiful sunny day, a perfect day, and Shisui was not here to share it with me.

The tombstone would remain a momentum to his life but the grave was empty.

The Uchiha practised clan rights for our fallen members, and so a funeral wasn't a ceremony to burry a body, but to return our ashes to the soil we spent our life protecting.

With the ceremony over we started heading out of the cemetery, though okaasan, Sasuke and I were hesitating, seeing as otousan had been dragged into a quiet but short conversation with the Hokage.

While we stood waiting we exchanged words of comfort and regrets in short but earnest comments between passing people, but I still looked up just in time to see the last to lay down his flower was Itachi.

He must have felt my eyes on him because his head turned towards me, but next moment he was gone.

It had been a few weeks since the funeral, yet wherever I went into the district everyone were still discussing Itachi and Shisui. I was sitting on the porch outside the house, but I could faintly hear my parents low murmurs through the window.

"_-was the coroner and he backs me up. He said himself there were traces of conjunctiva underneath Shisui's fingernails. How else would it get there unless he ripped them out himself? I trust Itachi is telling the truth and that he had nothing to do with it." _My otousan was saying.

The official story was that Shisui had committed suicide, but most of the clan didn't believe it, and the main suspect was my oniisan.

I couldn't picture Shisui killing himself, but I also didn't think Itachi could have done it. Not like that. As good a ninja as my oniisan was, by nature Itachi was kind and preferred to solve conflicts without violence.

He was also gone.

Our parents said Itachi was working, but few had seen him since the funeral, and that was making the rumours worse.

Sasuke had quietly told me about the argument outside our house the day I came home with my new haircut.

That Yashiro ojisan, Inabi ojisan and cousin Tekka had been really angry, accusing Itachi of killing Shisui and faking the suicide letter with the Sharingan. And that his eyes had gone weird. That he had the Mangekyō Sharingan now.

I took a small bite of my dango. I had bought them on my way home from the academy, but the one I would normally share with was still on a mission and the other was Shisui and he would never mooch dango off me again.

I heard footsteps come down the path to our house and looked up to see Yoko. "Hey, come on. We're going to the gravel ground, you'll join, right? Kama-kun wants help with wirework, and you're much more advanced than me." She said and gestured with her head to a small gaggle of kids waiting on the road.

I stood up and smiled. "Of course."

She glanced at the house. "Is Sasuke inside?" Yoko questioned, but I shook my head.

"He isn't home yet, but I'm sure he'll join us if he gets back before dinner."

Yoko nodded, then brightened up at the sight of the dango box. "Oh, score! Hey guys, Jun brought treats!"

"Really?" Taiko and Kenjiro asked in unison.

"It's my dango, and who said I would share?" I snapped back.

"Please! Oh please Jun-senpai! Won't you share?" Ume begged, her hands clasped together and her big, black eyes sparkling. Contrasting like dark pearls against her pale face framed by sandy blonde curls.

I was so weak, and caved nearly instantaneously.

I held out the dango to Ume and Kama - the two youngest and so the cutest of everyone. In my head that translated to deserving sweets all on its own. It's not like I could do the same with Sasuke, as he was more likely to spit it right out again - and that was so not cute at all.

"If you want my help you can't come whining to me if you get cramps." I warned them as they took a stick each, followed by Kenjiro, Taiko and Yoko.

And that was the end of that dango box.

I smiled to myself. Because though I could be just as much of a sweet tooth as my oniisan - and I had really wanted to eat those - I clearly still had someone to share dango with.

We raced each other through the compound, giggling and egging each other on as we passed the busier streets and came out onto the outer district with smaller houses. I waved eagerly to Izumi who was jumping down from the rooftop of her own house with groceries in hand and we heard her okaasan shout from inside; "Don't break the eggs, Izumi!" Before we came onto the path with a shy covering of trees that hid our gravel ground from the road.

I was giddy as I touched the target post first, declaring my victory of the race and proof of being the fastest.

"Hah!" I exclaimed, punching Kenjiro in the shoulder as he complained his stomach had started cramping.

"Pain is no reason to falter!" Taiko argued, taking my side and pushing Kenjiro to his feet. "Get up, we're sparring right away so you can get used to working under some discomfort, or you'll never graduate." He taunted. Kenjiro spluttered, and soon they were wrestling like toddlers, rolling around with no finesse, much to Ume and Kama's delight.

"Okay Kama, you wanted help with ninja wire?" I asked, turning to the young boy.

He and Ume were a year below Sasuke and since the excitement of finally attending the academy had yet to fade they were always pouncing on us older kids for help. I saw Yoko drag Ume to the target posts for some shuriken practise, which meant we were all nicely paired off for now.

"Yes." Kama brought out the wire, "I got it from otousan." He explained with a broad smile that was missing two teeth.

We set to work and didn't stop until the afternoon was waining. Taiko couldn't stop laughing at Ume and Kama, who had somehow managed to wrangle the ninja wire horribly around themselves. There were several knots on the line and they had both managed to trip in their eagerness.

"Well, why don't you sort that out, eh?" Kenjiro suggested and pointed between the two kids. "I'm already _really_ late, so I need to go." He excused himself, and waved as he hurriedly left us to both tidy up from practise and help out Ume and Kama.

Taiko shook his head, but was too busy making sure Ume didn't strangle herself on the wire. She was jumbling it worse by trying to get loose. "Stop, stop! You did good, but I think we'll have to train with wire another day. It'll be dark soon, and don't you have to go home for dinner as well?"

Ume whined but agreed while Kama was distracted trying to release his hand from the wrangled wire. I too was trying to help Kama, but he wasn't making it easy with his wiggling and moving about.

Yoko was giggling as she watched the show. Ume was the first to get loose, and stumbled over to where Yoko sat with her back resting against the target post.

"I need to go home soon too. Okaasan will be mad if I'm late for dinner." I said when Ume looked ready to pull out the puppy eyes again.

"Why?" Ume whined, stomping her foot. "Yoko-senpai?" She asked and turned to the other girl who burst out laughing and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Ume-chan, but no. I have to go home too."

"Taiko-senpai?" She asked hopefully, turning back to their main instructor.

I had expected him to deny her with his usual brash attitude, but instead he didn't answer. I looked up, bemused to find Taiko staring at the path as if something interesting was happening there.

"Taiko-senpai!?" Ume groused when the older boy didn't even acknowledge she had spoken. Kama was finally free of the wire, and I was wrapping it up while shooing the boy to the side so he wouldn't tangle it further.

Yoko stood up, her head tilting curiously as Taiko remained focused. "What is it Taiko-kun?" She asked, glancing back and forth while I continued reeling in the ninja wire. I was already planning to bring along a shorter length the next time. Kama and Ume were too inexperienced with ninja wire to start with such a length.

"I-" Taiko said, his right arm coming up to rub the back of his neck, a strange gleam in his eyes. "I'm not sure, I just thought I sensed something weird."

"Sense?" Ume asked excitedly. "Can you sense like Tekka-san?"

"Yes, Tekka has been teaching me, though I don't have much range yet." He replied and tilted his head to the side. "It's just, I think I felt a chakra fluctuation."

He then gestured in the direction of the path, but not really directly back to the district, more in the direction of the closest houses.

"That's where Hazuki obasan lives. She'll deal with it if someone is up to something." Ume declared assured. "And Izumi is a genin, she'll kick their arse."

"I-" Taiko started, but cut off abruptly when a figure appeared on the path.

We all jumped in shock, none of us having expected the sudden appearance. "Itachi-nii!" I exclaimed, my heart beating fast and my pulse rising.

I had a sudden rush of happiness at seeing him again. I had heard he had been home that morning, but I had gone early to the academy and missed him entirely. I had really missed him.

Though it had taken a second glance to recognize him. He was in full ANBU gear and was looking down at us, his face unreadable.

He didn't reply.

"Oniisan?" I asked. My voice was just as steady, but despite wanting to relax now that I knew it was just my oniisan who had come to fetch me, something felt wrong.

Very, very, very wrong.

My heart wasn't relaxing. In fact it was thrumming in my chest, beating faster and faster.

He stepped forwards, and it was first now I noticed he was holding a katana.

A katana with blood on it.

That was odd, because Itachi was meticulous. He always cleaned his weapons, and I had never seen them in anything but pristine condition.

So who's blood was that?

He held it up, pointing it towards Taiko, who at some point between Itachi's appearance and now had drawn his kunai. My eyes flew between the two, confused at what was happening, not able to make sense of the series of events or what it meant.

"Children of peace..." Itachi said, his voice lacking inflexion or emotions. "How weak..." It was dead, monotone and deeper than I had ever heard it before. "How lacking."

Something was wrong.

Or about to be.

The world blurred, and I turned to the side, my body springing to action as Itachi and Taiko moved, Ume, Kama and Yoko just as bewildered as I was.

And in a turn of events so absurd and unexpected I was sure my eyes must be deceiving me Itachi cut into our cousin.

Taiko fell so fast I couldn't even hope to stop it. My hands reached out uselessly towards my life long friend as he fell in a heap, my brain at a loss to what was happening.

Why? What? How?

My oniisan turned fluidly as I stumbled towards Taiko, my gaze stuck on his shocked expression and pooling blood. But my attention was forced up as I realized Itachi wasn't done.

He was heading for his next target.

For little Ume.

_Why? Why? Whatdidhedo?Whyareyoudoingthis?NonotlittleUmetoo!_

_Why?_

She didn't stand a chance, and in horror I watched what would happen before it did.

Itachi's katana would dig into Ume's chest, I could see how her eyes would widen in shock and pain. I could see the wound would be too deep, I could see it would nick her artery, I could see she would die.

"Itachi!" I gasped.

As Ume fell lifeless Kama gave a wail of distress, but it was cut off by a gurgle as Itachi's katana swung and cut his throat. Nearly severing his head clean off his shoulders.

Yoko and I were the last two standing, both struck stupid in fear, overwhelmed and confused.

Then Yoko sobbed and ran, and I was not far behind. My heart thumped wildly, my vision was both blurry from tears yet too clear, and for a half crazed moment I realized I had activated the Sharingan. That I would forever see Ume and Kama die before my eyes at my oniisan's hand.

A shape appeared before us, forcing Yoko and I to halt, because of course he had caught up. We didn't stand a chance against Itachi.

Yoko threw her hand out, two shuriken flying towards Itachi's face. He tilted his head to the side, allowing them to fly past harmlessly.

I was grasping for anything, and my hands were forming seals in a desperate gambit for a solution. Snake, rat – and then I cast an overpowered hell viewing technique. I think it was dispelled before it even touched him.

"You lack focus, imouto." Itachi told me, his voice unfeeling.

I was crying, my body shaking.

"Stuck in your head, too distracted by the whims of your own mind to see what is in front of you before it is too late." He turned towards Yoko, who had palmed the wooden kunai Ume had brought along for practise.

Her eyes now as scarlet as Itachi's and mine.

My body moved on its own. Doing the only thing I could by using myself as a human shield between my best friend and Itachi.

I barely had time to brace myself before he kicked me. My ribs hurt badly as I flew across the grounds, rolling several times and coming to a stop by the tree line. I was heaving and coughing, but I had to get up. Something was horribly wrong, Itachi had gone crazy. I had to get help, I had to get to the compound and warn the others, I had to-

My mind went blank as I looked up. Yoko lay still on her stomach. I couldn't see clearly what had happened, but there was blood pooling out from under her. Her face was turned towards me, and I could see straight into her empty gaze, the previous scarlet red fading back to black.

And Itachi was walking towards me.

I scrambled to my feet, struggling desperately against the pain in my side. But my fear was much, much more overwhelming than any cracked rib could hope to be. My mind was in complete meltdown, my fight instinct had left, and I was now in flight mode.

"Itachi! Why, what are you doing? Yoko- Taiko? Ume and Kama…. " I was babbling nonsense, half under the impression this was just some horrible misunderstanding. I was dispelling my chakra, hoping it was a malicious genjutsu and not real.

_Please let it not be real!_

"They were weak. They were nothing. All the Uchiha has proven their pathetic limits."

I faltered, watching my oniisan's face stare down at me. The orange sky above him not a match to the brilliant red gleam of his Sharingan.

"Weak? Weak!" I could hear my voice cracking, knew I was hysterical. "You h-hurt them-" I was unable to keep from glancing towards Yoko again. "-killed them- because you- you think? You believe-?" I couldn't even say it.

"Jun the imaginer" Itachi said, his head tilting to the side as he worded the old nickname. "Do you even know what is dream and what isn't?"

His voice washed over me. "...People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true… that is how they define reality. But what does it mean to be correct or true? Merely vague concepts… their reality may all be an illusion."

His eyes changed, the three tomoe of his Sharingan elongating, sharpening until I was looking into the Mangekyō.

"Itachi…?" I asked, my voice hoarse and unsteady.

I was going to die. I was going to be killed by Itachi. Gentle and kind Itachi.

My murdering, coldblooded and remorseless oniisan.

His chakra dripped into me like acid, and despite my eager studies into genjutsu, the tips and lessons from Setsuna-sensei and Shisui, this was one illusion I could never have prepared myself for, one I was quite incapable of breaking.

The sky turned red and the clouds grew black. I was in world of negative, my hair pale white and my skin black.

Itachi's voice rang out above it all.

"Junko the storyteller."

In front of me Izumi oneechan lay sprawled on her bedroom floor, Itachi standing in front of her open window. He stepped over her corpse towards me.

"I wonder, will you tell others my tale?"

"Stop Itachi! Stop it! Please!" I begged, but he grasped my upper arm and wrenched me to the side, and somehow I already knew where he was heading. He was going for Hazuki obasan, he was going to kill her, and then he was going to come for the rest of us - and I couldn't stop it.

"What is your dreams made up of?" He asked as Hazuki obasan, who had been in the kitchen making omelets, turned around from the counter confused at the sight of Itachi. Not yet knowing he had just killed her daughter in the upstairs bedroom. I wanted to scream at her to run, but I wasn't physically capable. She didn't have time to react as Itachi sprang forwards, killing her in one strike.

I sobbed. I begged him to let me go. I was doing every version of genjutsu reversal I had learned, heard of or theorized, including hurting myself, but it wasn't working.

I couldn't escape.

"Within the realm of my Tsukuyomi, time, space... everything... are mine to control." Itachi's voice drilled into my head, reverberated in my blood.

He walked out of the house and onto the street where he turned towards Naori obaachan house next. It was on the outskirt of the Uchiha district. Few or none would notice anything for hours.

"Stop… Don't!" I begged him to no avail.

He killed Naori obaachan just as ruthlessly, and then as he exited calmly back onto the street someone came jogging out from the path.

Kenjiro was heading home, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve absently before he caught sight of Itachi, and then I knew what was coming. What had happened.

"Don't make me watch. I don't want to see! Please don't!" I shouted.

Itachi didn't listen, and I was helpless to look on as Kenjiro fell just as easily, barely having time to be scared before it was over, and then… then I got to watch what had happened at the gravel ground, but from an outside perspective.

It was first then I was finally able to move at my own accord. I didn't care it was an illusion, that the only reason I was able to do so was because Itachi allowed it.

I was sobbing hysterically, running down the path and back to the houses, screaming my throat dry for help, for people to run, that Itachi was coming for them.

He followed.

I was stopped as we reached the road leading into the heart of the Uchiha district.

I didn't understand.

"Come Junko. It's getting late and dinner will be ready soon." Itachi said from behind me - as if nothing was wrong and we were just strolling back home like we had so many times before.

He stepped ahead of me, heading in the direction of our house. To where okaasan would be making dinner, where otousan was busy in the office and Sasuke would be waiting.

The sky was scarlet.

"Let's go make my dream come true."

I screamed.

It took me a day to wake up.

It took half an hour for the nurses to calm me down.

It took five sentences from a faceless ANBU to tell me Itachi had killed everyone in the clan, "yes, including your parents", with the exception of Sasuke and I.

After that time floated strangely. I was aware I was in the hospital, having been put under a powerful genjutsu by Itachi that caused me to slip into a temporary coma. I had been unable to break it, unable to escape him as he made me watch his dreams for the clan. The many ways he was going to kill them all.

Again and again and again. The only interruptions were his questions, asking if my dream was stronger than his.

He proved it wasn't.

He had made his dream reality, and now everyone were dead. They were all gone, and I didn't understand why. I was in shock and denial, I could recognize that. It didn't make sense and I desperately wanted it to be unmade.

I was in the same room as Sasuke, and despite my headache I had climbed out of my bed and into his. His still, motionless body the only thing keeping me from breaking apart once more.

They said they found him in the street while I had been found where Itachi had kicked me to the side, left for hours with the other dead children as he had continued to kill everyone.

Even if Sasuke wasn't awake there was no blood, his body was warm, he was breathing, and he was all I had left.

When the nurses came and went I could see ANBU guards stationedin the hallway, and I suspected there were more I couldn't see.

But all I could really care about was the fact they wore the same uniform as Itachi.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but eventually the door opened, and someone else but a healer or a masked ANBU stepped into the room.

Sarutobi Hiruzen came inside, his eyes trailing from me to Sasuke. Serious but compassionate enough for me to read it off his features.

"You have my deepest condolences, Uchiha Junko. Konoha has lost an irreplaceable part of our community, and I grieve with you." He started, but the statement felt empty and out of place. I was sure the old man meant well, but I wasn't ready to hear it.

I didn't answer.

"You and Sasuke-kun are the last of your clan."

I'm sure my face gave away my disbelief at that statement, because he halted, allowing me just enough time to blurt out the one thing I had wanted to know but had been too terrified to hear. Because surely, if they had managed to catch him they would have told me by now.

"What about Itachi?"

My voice was raspy and dry, making me swallow to moisten my throat.

"Ah… Uchiha Itachi escaped." He paused, brow furrowed.

"He killed them all." I stated, confirming the words for my own benefit, but there was also a part of me, the most naive and childish part, that wanted the Hokage to deny it, to find a loophole or say there had been a misunderstanding.

"Yes."

I glanced down at Sasuke. My otouto. Our youngest sibling. He breathed.

"When will he wake up?" I asked, my hand brushing through his midnight black hair. The same shade and texture as okaasan's.

My okaasan who-

"We can not be certain." The Hokage replied, just as the medics had already told me several times before.

I looked at the Hokage, the leader of our village.

"Where were you?" I asked, my voice breaking midway through. "You…. You're the Hokage. The village's last line of defence..." I trailed off as my pulse rose once more.

"We were slaughtered and what good were you?!" I demanded.

Something flickered in his dark eyes, something fragile or offbeat, but I was probably making things up.

My imagination had always been too active.

"I didn't know before it had already happened." The Hokage explained, his voice unyielding but not punishing. He understood and accepted my disobedience, but only because I was emotionally unstable and young enough to get away with it.

For now.

"Our village has lost one of its founding clans. You and your otouto are the legacy of the Uchiha now, and on my word and honour, Konohagakure will protect you."

For the first time his face showed true remorse as he spoke. "I promise that you and Sasuke-kun will be safe from Itachi."

I swallowed, my eyes watering though his words had an effect. Since waking up I had been waiting for Itachi to return and finish what he started. I couldn't deny the small relief those words gave me, heartbreaking though it was that they were necessary.

"This is not the time, and we will need to meet again when you are better..." He sighed and combed his fingers through his beard. "The village will assist you with the funeral preparations, but as things stand you are the new head of the Uchiha clan, and will at some point need to settle their matters."

The words were like another blow.

Otousan and okaasan were dead, Itachi killed them and ran, and as the second born the responsibility of the clan now fell to me.

My hands fisted above the covers. What a joke. Clan Head of _what_ clan? The Uchiha… were gone… There were only two lost children and a murderous traitor left.

There was a void in my heart, a gash that would never be healed or let me forget I was marred. Everything was gone, and I would never get it back.

After that I wasn't up for much more, I simply shut down, and I was none responsive before the Hokage had even left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you believe this used to be longer? I'm sorry for the long chapter, I actually cut out a couple scenes from this. But thank you so much for taking the time to read and getting through it!


	4. The Before and After - Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my native language and this is not beta'd, so I'm sorry for the mistakes!

The Before and After - Part 4

Sasuke awoke in the middle of the night, nearly a day and a half after Itachi fled Konoha. He woke up so slowly and calmly that even I – who was laying right next to him on the bed - didn't notice he was no longer asleep.

I had been feeling eyes on me for hours, and I was pretty sure that was the patrolling ANBU's fault, so a new set of eyes joining didn't really factor into my already over paranoid mindset. It wasn't before my otouto's fingers clutched around my hand that I realized something had changed.

When I turned to find him staring at me it was like seeing a stranger.

Sasuke had always been a happy child and rarely let anything keep him down. He could be sullen and bratty and annoying, but he was my otouto, it was kind of his job to be those things. However, this new look in his eyes was one of fear and defeat.

I hugged him to me tightly, not wanting to see it. Watching my otouto's lost innocence so plainly in his betrayed eyes wasn't nearly as painful as realizing everyone else were dead - but it still had an impact.

"Junko? I-It's really you?" Sasuke's voice was hollowed, but I was so relieved when I felt his arms hug me back. "I thought he took you too."

I was crying again, but silently this time. "He didn't. I'm here. I'm not gone, and neither are you." I wasn't alone. Sasuke was here, and that was both a huge relief and horrifying.

Because just as surely as he was all I had left, I was all he had too.

How could I possibly be what he needed? The simple truth was that I wasn't and never could be.

I could never fill in for our parents - for the clan. I couldn't be okaasan or otousan. I couldn't run the senbei shop like Uruchi obasan and Teyaki ojisan where Sasuke would buy bread. Never again would he get to play investigator vs infiltrator with Ume and Kama, or be challenged by our cousins at the next assembly.

I was only his oneechan, only a year ahead of him in the academy - not even a qualified ninja able to protect him.

Now that I knew Sasuke was awake, now that I had solid proof he wasn't gone, I was even more insecure about the future than ever before.

Outside the fact that both Sasuke and I awoke with severe headaches, there was nothing physically wrong with us. The healers had fixed my ribs while I had been unconscious, as there were barely a couple of bruises left from where Itachi had kicked me.

The main problem had been waking us up, as from the medical talk I gathered that we had been hit with the same techniques, the Tsukuyomi, though I wasn't sure if we'd seen the same things.

I didn't ask. I had no wish to know what Itachi had made Sasuke see, I had enough with my own scrambled mind to try patch through Sasuke's torn psyche too, and I was shamefully relieved he didn't ask me either.

Once we could stand and walk without seeing double from a migraine we were discharged from the hospital.

A blonde ninja who's name had gone in one ear and out the other collected us in the hospital lobby and escorted us through the streets until we arrived at one of the buildings by the Hokage tower.

We walked up a couple of stairs and down a sparse corridor to a shabby looking door with the number 25 on it. The ninja unlocked the door with a clink of keys, swung it open and turned on the lights inside. Sasuke and I scurried after him, my otouto walking so close on my heel he would bump into my back if I stopped abruptly.

It was underwhelming to say the least.

A bare single room, stripped of all ornaments and equipments. It was literally four walls with a door on one end and a small window that not even Sasuke would have fit through high on the other.

"This is one of the private on-call rooms available for ninjas, but Hokage-sama made an exception for you two. You should be set to remain here for now, but it's more of a temporary solution." The ninja explained and dropped a set of keys in my hand, handed us a futon mat and sleeping bag each, a larger bento box and two bottles of water.

"There's no kitchen, but there's a couple of good restaurants in the area. The Yakitori bar is just around the corner too." He gestured to the right wall absently.

"The shower and bathroom is at the end of the hall by the staircase, but it is shared with the entire floor, so knock first, alright? What else…? There's also a washer in the basement, though you might have to be prepared to stand in line to use that. Especially if you go late. For some reason there's always a line to use the washer after midnight in this building. I'd recommend going down there around lunch if possible. Oh, toiletries." He opened a scroll and summoned two complete sets, one in pink and the other green.

We had been given a change of clothes at the hospital, so at least that wasn't a problem either. I was wearing an unfamiliar pink dress unlike anything I'd ever worn before, but at least I wasn't in the flimsy hospital gown anymore.

Before he left he gave a few tidbits of information that may or may not be of our interest. Neither Sasuke or I had done more than communicate through nods and shrugs since he introduced himself, and I thought he might have been growing frustrated by our lack of verbal replies

"The village is still in a state of emergency and on high alert. There are ninjas patrolling the streets outside, so don't worry, you're safe." I had already noticed he kept mentioning that last part. That we had nothing to fear. Perhaps he was trying to be comforting.

He finished with telling us someone would be by to check on us that evening - tomorrow morning at the latest - and that if we had any questions he or someone else would do their best to answer. With the tighten security certain types of news were travelling slower than normal.

I was nearly impressed with how very carefully the ninja managed to bypass mentioning that Konoha's internal main security unit had just been decimated. As if I hadn't noticed the smoke from a house fire rising into the sky on the way from the hospital too, nor realized what had caused it.

With the police department wiped off the map there were both a large security risk from heightened criminal activity within the village as it was for an outside threat to take advantage of Konoha's unrest. That there was a sudden power vacuum and that the vultures were probably squabbling about what should be done and who should take our place.

I wasn't deaf, and even without trying to eavesdrop while locked in a high security room in the hospital I had still overheard some worrying things. An outbreak of open fighting and unrest for one.

From what I had heard it was so bad a few of the hospital personnel hadn't dared come into work. They didn't want to go out on the street, even though ANBU and active forces had been called in to fill in for the police while they tried to reorganize. Attempting to fill in the job the Uchiha had performed for decades.

As the blonde ninja opened the door and was about to leave he threw in a last comment about how the academy would remain closed for a few more days. I hadn't really spared something as mundane as classes a thought to be honest, but now he had reminded me I couldn't say the news surprised me either.

We remained quiet when the door shut behind him with a soft click, indicating it locked automatically. There was a moment of inaction, where all we did was stare at each other.

I took the led, and started unwrapping the futon I had been holding and Sasuke followed along.

I didn't touch the bento box, and neither did Sasuke.

I was tired. After my initial awakening I hadn't been able to sleep in the hospital at all. Despite my pounding headache begging me to be knocked out again I had not been able to relax. When I started to nod off I would hear footsteps in the corridor and jerk awake, I would tense from distant sounds on the street outside. Be painfully aware of the blurs from the corner of my eye as someone flew past the window.

This dark shabby room was hardly homely, the bedding nowhere near soft or comforting, but it felt somehow sheltered – it felt safer.

That first night was difficult, but I did fall asleep eventually.

The next morning was even worse.

Why?

Because Sasuke was missing.

I wasn't sure how to react. One part of me wanted to break into another panic attack, while the other wanted to sit down and stare blankly at a wall.

Neither side won out.

With barely a glance at the ruffled bedding abandoned sometime in the night I hurried outside.

I already knew where Sasuke had gone.

The building we stayed in was not far away from the academy and I had walked this route countless times, I knew this road well.

The early morning sun cast long shadows as I sprang through the streets of Konoha, a lone girl in a wrinkled pink dress.

There were an unusual amount of people out and about for the early hour, most of them in full Konoha uniform. Screaming 'we are watching, don't try anything' in the most casual way possible, and quite a few of them stared at me as I ran past. I still flew by a burned building, a shop with broken windows, a bar where the sign had been destroyed and several other traces of violence.

I didn't care.

I arrived at the gates to the Uchiha district and for the first time I halted. I had been ready for a lot, but this… This made everything so much more real.

Someone had torn down the yellow warning tape, and I too ignored it.

It was quiet. Empty. Still. To me it was as if the place was frozen.

There were no bodies in the street, but I could still tell where someone had died from the dark stains on the ground I was trying to ignore. I wondered if Hokage-sama would have someone do it or just leave it for nature to clean up with time. Would it be a D rank mission perhaps?

It was part of the academy curriculum, because covering tracks was a big part of stealth training. As a result we knew how to remove blood from just about anything.

That hadn't happened here though.

I was spellbound. Trapped in this surreal reality where my home, my entire life, was stripped down to these empty streets, these abandoned houses.

Once the walls that bordered our district had felt like safety, but perhaps when the blade fell they had trapped us instead.

I wandered horrified yet morbidly curious to see it all now that everything had changed, but eventually I found Sasuke.

He was exactly where I suspected he would be.

"You shouldn't be here." I told him as I came into the living room of our house.

He lay crying - collapsed in the middle of the floor - but instead of answering he shook his head.

"Sasuke, come. We- we're leaving." I said, trying to make my voice commanding and assured. It worked a little too well, and I nearly barked the words.

I understood why he had come here. I was afraid too, and this was home. This was where we were supposed to be safe, but now that was no longer true.

And seeing Sasuke this way only made it so much more obvious.

"No." Sasuke disagreed. I tried to grab his arm, to physically drag him with me if I had to.

"_NO!"_ He shouted, and knocked my hand to the side. Sasuke stumbled to his feet so I could see his flushed face, running nose and bloodshot eyes. He turned his face away and ran down the hallway.

How many times had I watched as Sasuke left down the hall to his bedroom? I knew exactly how many steps it took for him to reach his door, and I was expecting to hear his light feet come to a stop and the sound of the door opening and closing.

It didn't happen. He had stopped too early, and of course I knew why.

He was outside Itachi's door.

"Sasuke?" I asked quietly. He would still hear it.

As if my voice had jarred him into actions I heard his steps start up again, and the familiar sound of Sasuke slipping into his room followed.

Little did I know this was only the start of an uphill battle.

I wasn't sure what Sasuke was trying to do. Perhaps it was his way of dealing, perhaps he was just that much in denial, I didn't know why, but I was pretty sure it wasn't good for either of us.

I hadn't managed to get Sasuke to leave, and so I had to stay too. First he had walked from room to room, taking in this place as if it was our very own post apocalypse.

"Itachi killed otousan and okaasan here." Sasuke told me, pointing at the place he'd been laying when I first entered the house.

I really hadn't wanted to know that.

After he was done wandering the house like a zombie, he began haunting the streets instead. Trotting from house to house without goal or meaning. He was obsessed with seeing the results of the attack, or the Uchiha massacre as people were starting to call it in hushed whispers.

I watched him potter around the senbei shop, listlessly eating four day old bread from the shelves. He wandered into the neighbouring house and sat for over an hour inside Setsuna-sensei's study, before moving one house down to lay on the couch in Inabi's living room. He even slept in Taiko's bed one night.

I couldn't get him to leave, whenever I did he threw a fit, he fought and screamed and refused to budge.

And so I had to follow and watch as he morbidly tore himself apart, not seeming to notice he was hurting me too.

We weren't alone either. The cleanup crew had been assembled, and people were coming and going in small groups, especially by the police station. They obviously knew who we were, because they were careful to keep their distance.

Yet It took four days before I got Sasuke out of the Uchiha district.

That period of our lives were life changing, difficult, depressing and not something I could think of in hindsight without regrets.

We went through a few temporary places to live because of legal stuff and what I'm pretty sure was a complete meltdown in the village logistics division, before ending up in an apartment where Sasuke and I had to learn how to live all over again.

Our new home roles had changed drastically, and we didn't know how to act toward each other anymore. We had gone from being the two youngest, the babies of the family, to all that was left. The heritage of our clan dragged us down as much as it gave us prestige.

Because I was the oldest I was legally the Uchiha Clan Head and Sasuke was my heir. It felt ridiculous to be referred to as head of anything, but If I disbanded the clan it would mean Sasuke and I would become wards of the village instead.

If so it would mean less responsibilities for me in particular, but also that the remains of those not of immediate blood family - which was most of my clan - went back to the village. In other words their houses, their belongings and other worldly possessions would be lost to me and Sasuke. And that included ancient Uchiha texts, the Naka Shrine and our very heritage.

So there wasn't really a choice at all. No way would I just disband the Uchiha clan, despite how tempting it was at times.

But that was just my public problems, my private ones were worse.

Sasuke did not see me as someone to follow. I wasn't okaasan, otousan or even Itachi. We were too close in age for my words to hold much sway over him. Yet I was clan head and his elder, and he really didn't like it.

Sasuke had always seen Itachi as an authority figure, but that had never extended to me. Maybe it was because I was only a year older, or maybe because I was a girl. Sasuke had already been showing signs of being a little misogynistic before the massacre. I wasn't sure where he picked it up from, but I suspected his fangirls at the academy was a big part of it. The fact I wasn't as brilliant as Itachi might have cemented the fact that despite being an older sibling too, because I was a girl I would never be as good.

No matter the source, the result was a huge home front war where I struggled to get Sasuke to listen. There were just so many small things, like when after I'd tried to be nice and made his favourite meal he'd repay me by refusing to help wash the dishes while rudely tell me to "go clean my own mess". If it happened once that would be manageable, but this simmering rebellion just kept escalating.

I'm not sure where he got the idea from, but somehow he expected me to be okaasan. To be home and look after him like she had. But I couldn't. Not only would I be a disappointing replacement, but I didn't _want _to.

That was perhaps the part that hurt Sasuke. I flat out told him it wasn't my job to take care of him, that he needed to start pulling his own weight because I couldn't carry him through this.

I was just as hurt as him, but he didn't seem to understand that. Though he never said it so plainly – fortunately he had enough wits to keep it to himself - Sasuke felt that because I hadn't seen our parents be killed I was not as hurt as him.

Despite never wording it that badly, I was still able to read the idea from the context of our yelling matches.

Yeah, it had been ugly, but I was fed up with letting him get away with not helping and making everything more difficult.

To demonstrate just how angry I was I was the first to return to the academy only seven days after the massacre and only one day after it was reopened.

It had not been a good experience.

I had successfully managed to keep my head down long enough to reach my classroom without too many stares. The only obvious one was Iruka-sensei who had done a double take in the hallway, which I had ignored with my single minded determination on getting to my classroom. But the first real hurdle came once I sat down.

I had been sitting next to Yoko, and seeing as she wouldn't be sitting there anymore the space between me and Shiho was now empty.

Shiho arrived a couple of minutes later, and it was clear she too was struggling with the change.

Yoko had been the talkative and open one. I had mostly just nodded along and been relieved Shiho was so calm, smart and had never demanded I participate if I didn't want to.

It sounded callous in my own head, but our buffer was gone. Leaving Shiho to keep trying to say something before backing off, clearly uncomfortable and unsure how to handle the situation.

"I'm sorry." Shiho whispered at last, a tear emerging from underneath her thick glasses, and having the curtesy to say the words _to_ me instead of _about_ me like the rest of our classmates.

I noticed Neji and Makaro speaking in low murmurs, while Lee and Tenten kept turning in their seats to glance at me. A couple of the girls actually started crying when they saw me, and anyone who met my eyes turned quiet at once.

But I heard them anyway.

"…_just snapped and killed them all..."_

"_her _oniisan _did it..."_

"_-found where Taiko-kun and Yoko-chan died..."_

"… _hospitalized, heard they couldn't wake them up-"_

"…_Uchiha are all dead..."_

I couldn't escape it. The reason I had come to the academy was to find something normal again. That it would distract me, but no one were willing to let me forget. Their whispers and glances kept me captured. I was not allowed to be anything but the poor victim of my family's tragedy.

Everyone was staring, pointing and judging me. Even Funeno-sensei didn't know how to handle things, and switched between giving me space and being overly considerate.

At least I no longer had to worry about Funeno-sensei trying to compare me to Itachi. These days I'm sure sensei was pretty relieved I had turned out to fall so short of brilliant Itachi.

And if I thought classes were bad, lunch was nearly unbearable.

I must have been giving off some serious "_approach with caution_" vibes, because my scowls alone kept most at bay for the first fifteen minutes.

But alas, eventually they grew braver.

"Jun-chan? I heard you saw Yoko-chan and Taiko-kun die. Is it true? What happened?"

In their defence, I doubt they meant it to be malicious or hurtful. They were kids who had lost two classmates and wanted to know what happened and had heard that I knew. However, it was pretty far from tactful as well.

I looked up, glaring at them with such rage I was shaking. I'm pretty sure I activated my Sharingan as well.

They ran.

Perhaps they thought I would snap too.

By the time I came home I was drawn tight like a bowstring, only to be faced by my furious otouto who couldn't fathom that I had left him alone.

I was dealing with the burials too.

There were too many dead to give each and every member clan rights. I wasn't even sure what that consisted of. Only Itachi had been taught the details, and now there was no one left to tell me the correct way.

I only knew we burned the bodies which took a lot of paperwork, and because I was the "clan head" I had to sign off on the autopsy forms for each and every corpse.

The incinerators at the crematory burned for days, and then the funeral was held.

It was a mass ceremony for the entire clan, and it seemed half of Konoha showed up for it. The cemetery was filled to max capacity, and the Hokage held the ceremony.

The ground was littered with pictures of everyone in the clan and at the very front and centre were my parents. I myself had been the one to find and bring most of the pictures, and now I was struck numb while faced with all of them in one place.

This was my proud, strong and ancient clan.

These scattered ashes.

I was very distracted by little Ume's beaming smile and Yoko's shy wave in their own portraits. And I was nauseous by the image of Midori obasan who'd been two months away from birthing her second child.

I stood at the front on a row of ninja I was pretty sure were very important for the village, the council and a lot of clan heads. I didn't care, I had never met or talked to ninety nine percent of them. Though the one exception who I was a little surprised to recognize was the blonde ninja who had escorted Sasuke and I from the hospital, but only until I spotted the clan sigil on his black clothes.

Yamanaka.

Right, now that I had the visual reminder his name had been Ino-something or other.

They towered on each side of me, dwarfing me in the middle where I stood alone in a black dress okaasan had made me only a month ago for Shisui.

I kept thinking there was something repulsively ironic about how she'd been the one to sow the outfits her children would wear to her own funeral.

I hadn't seen Sasuke that morning, he'd left before I came out for breakfast, but I had presumed he'd meet me at the cemetery. I hadn't even considered otherwise.

_He didn't show._

We had another ugly fight about it that afternoon. I told him he was disrespecting our clan, shirking his duties and shaming our name. How did he think it looked that I was the only one who bothered to show up to the funeral of our clan? What would our parents think about the fact their last loyal son couldn't be bothered to show up for their funeral?

"What do I care what those people think? That wasn't our parents funeral! It was a show for the village! A spectacle so everyone could come and point and observe us and judge what little is left of our clan! Why would I come for that?!" He had shouted at my face.

In response I screamed that their funeral was about more than just his opinion, and that after this stunt he didn't deserve to have his feelings accounted for when he so clearly didn't care about mine.

The thing was, Sasuke needed someone to be there for him. He needed support and love and comfort and safety. He needed okaasan.

I knew that, I saw it, but whenever I tried I just sounded like otousan.

It was a nightmare, and I was not okay.

But somehow I got through it.

Those days and weeks were some of the longest of my life, yet passed by so quickly I was startled to realize one chilly Sunday morning that it was four months since the massacre.

I was standing in the bathroom of our new village subsidised two bedroom apartment. It was in a nice neighbourhood close to several spacious training grounds and only a fifteen minutes civilian paced walk from the heart of the village. It was very different from the Uchiha district.

It was a very modern place, and unlike our old house this one had several mirrors spread around the rooms. I had the hysterical thought once that they were trying to give the illusion of more Uchihas around with all those mirrors.

At home there had been one small mirror in the bathroom, and I had been too short to use it without the aid of the stool. Here there was one in my bedroom, one in Sasuke's, one in the hallway, one in the bathroom and I didn't need a stool for any of them.

I was standing alone in front of the tall bathroom mirror after exiting the shower and was staring at my reflection.

Despite the fact my life had been turned on its head, that I had been ripped apart and was floundering like a fish on land there were remarkably few changes. I felt almost cheated, as if the girl who looked back should have changed on the outside as she had on the inside.

Like my brothers I took after okaasan with the chief difference being my straight hair. The last few months had made me paler and more serious. My hair had grown out again after Shiho and Yoko's stint as hairdressers, and I'd taken to wearing it in a ponytail again.

Which had Sasuke blurt out in a moment of drowsy confusion; "You look like Itachi." the previous week.

It would be an understatement to say I hadn't appreciated that.

But looking at myself I get what he meant, though I don't think the hairdo had anything to do with it as much as the only new features on my face. Because underneath my eyes there were the beginning signs of pronouncing tear-troughs.

Just like Itachi's.

I shook the thought away, reminding myself that otousan had them too. I was relieved I could still recall what he looked like without the aid of a photograph.

It was alarming how fast the faces of my clan was slipping away with a few exceptions. I could recall Ume, Kama and Yoko as they died with perfect Sharingan recollection, and clearest of all was Itachi.

I activated my Sharingan. My black eyes rotated, growing lighter and red, until they glowed faintly and the world turned vibrant, crisp and predictable.

There was a mistake though. My left eye had one tomoe, but my right eye had two.

I couldn't recall hearing of that happening in any of my lessons with Setsuna-sensei. Perhaps I had just been bored when he explained it and didn't pay attention, but even if it had happened to others I was pretty sure it wasn't common either.

I had always assumed the tomoe would mature simultaneously.

I'm not sure if my clan would have approved of how I was abusing the dōjutsu though - mostly I activated it for paperwork. For example when my mind was going in every direction possible and I had a homework assignment due, I'd activate the Sharingan. It really did remember with startling clarity what it saw, and so made it easier to collect myself again.

As a result I had well and truly passed Neji in theoretical subjects. The added benefits of the dōjutsu made me almost feel as if I was cheating. It didn't stop me from abusing it though. I really, really needed it.

But even with the proof of my Uchiha heritage staring back at me from my reflection, it wasn't the answer to all my problems. Not by a long shot. The lowest moment of my academy days actually arrived about two weeks ago.

I had vaguely noticed that Neji, who once had never been shy about demonstrating how little he liked me, had finally backed off. Or perhaps I was just so distracted and dazed I overlooked it. In hindsight my rivalry with Neji felt pretty juvenile. I really had bigger problems in my life to deal with.

Since first year Funeno-sensei had tried to avoid pairing me and Neji against each other, but as the academy believed in rotating opponents it meant eventually we still matched up from time to time.

This was the first time since the massacre though.

I didn't have nearly as much time to focus on my physical conditioning anymore. I had been drowning in paperwork, stuck in meetings with real estate agents trying to sell the houses within the clan compound to individual families. Not to mentioning dealing with the last wishes of my dead clan according to their instructions, so that the right Akimichi got cousin Tekka's favourite shuriken set, that Inuzuka Hana got Izumi oneechan's entire book collection. Or one especially unhelpful request from Midori obachan that her katana should go to "Akihiro". There were several _hundreds _Akihiro's in Konoha, and figuring out who the hell should get her damn blade was near impossible.

But I had to find out, because it was in their wills.

Everyone wrote a will in Konoha from the age of five or so, but following it was difficult when so many of the benefactors were also dead. By default those went to me as the Clan Head, but there were a lot of exceptions.

In the beginning I tried to do it myself, but it was simply too complex for me to manage, so I had caved and hired help from some civilians who worked in legal. It had helped, most of all because they could actually tell and explain to me what I was looking at, but even with four extra minds and hands at work I was still drowning. And even if I still tried to train every day, it was not nearly with the same focus or efficiency as before.

Which is why I was dreading fighting Neji. Even when my sole responsibility in life had been to beat out the Hyūga for first ranked of the year I'd only won about 45% of our spars.

We held up the seal of confrontation, and then we fought. Neji's started with a fast charge and a faint to the left, while trying to make a hit from below, which I was able to sidestep with effort. We traded several blows, blocking, outmanoeuvring and failing to make contact several times. I was hard pressed from the beginning, more on the defensive than I preferred. Neji got a hit on my left side, making me stumble, and then… he failed to follow through.

Confused at the strange turn of luck I still recovered fast, and we continued fighting. Spars were usually quick, dirty and a blur of reactions more than anything else.

And when I managed to get a kick into Neji's back, making him stumble out of the ring, something rang hallow in my head. A low simmer of something bubbling in my chest.

"Junko-chan wins." Funeno-sensei called, which had most of the class roar with enthusiasm.

Neji's winning streak had annoyed a lot of people. They usually weren't fond of me winning either, but I was the poor victim that needed coddling these days, and so I was unprepared for the abrupt volume of cheers as I won the spar.

I frowned, but nodded and allowed the next pair to step into the ring. Tenten vs Makaro.

It was then I realized what had happened, and I nearly saw red.

After classes were out for the day I didn't go home. Instead I stalked Neji, my wounded pride beyond anything I could push down anymore. I had lost track of him when he slipped through the crowd in the yard, but caught up with him a few blocks later on the road towards the Hyuuga compound.

Neji had noticed me, and turned around. "What do you want Junko?"

"What was that?" I snapped.

He frowned, but I could see he knew why I was here. The boy huffed. "I'm on my way home. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I want a rematch!" I shouted as he was about to walk away again. "I don't want your pity! You hear me? You don't get to let me win because you feel_ sorry_ for me."

"Why would I ever let you win?" Snapped Neji, whirling back around, his cheeks a pale pink and his eyes narrowed in anger.

"I don't know, that's why I'm so mad. Come on, I want a rematch. I want to win against you because I'm better, not because you need to make yourself feel better over some misplaced guilt. Save it for someone who needs it!" I barked.

Neji bristled, I had offended him. "You want to fight me? That's fine. Come on."

We marched to the closest public training ground, which was a shabby concrete one squeezed between tall apartment buildings. The chain link fence was broken into as the previous gate lay forgotten in a corner. Perhaps used as a prop in some previous training match.

We stood opposite each other, and I raised my hand in the seal of confrontation, watching as Neji slowly did the same. Our eyes met, and I did something I never had in class.

I activated my Sharingan.

I watched his pale irises widen. A moment's hesitation passed us, but then his second hand came up to complete the seal.

"Byakugan." He mumbled, and his eyes bulged with chakra. This was my first time seeing the dōjutsu since Neji proved he could do it in the beginning of first year. We weren't allowed to use chakra at all in taijutsu spars either, which meant he had never been able to use the Byakugan against me.

It also meant I had never been up against the true power of the Gentle Fist.

We sprang at each other, and in the next three minutes Neji absolutely destroyed me.

The way I had split my attention between ninjutsu, genjutsu, shurikenjutsu and taijutsu, Neji had focused into only perfecting the Gentle Fist, which was vastly more than what he had been allowed to use at the academy. I could kind of understand his irritation now. His arsenal in close combat was so much more extensive with chakra, and it must have frustrated him to no end to not be allowed to use it.

I never stood a chance in close combat, and I finally got to experience why.

Yet every hit was validation. Every drop of blood was proof of life. I didn't want to die, I didn't want Itachi to take any more of me - I was so sick of being the victim, the one who was so useless she couldn't make a difference. Who couldn't save her friends and family.

More than anything I wanted to win again.

Neji's fist hit my stomach, and something zipped shut, locking my body and making me collapse to the ground in violent trembles.

I was gasping for breath, my Sharingan had shut off with a violent snap, and I was fighting to remain conscious. The Gentle Fist _hurt._ I had never understood exactly what the point of it was before now.

Yet losing had never made me feel more alive. It was real, tangible, painful, and there had been no illusions involved at all.

When I was able to look up at Neji I was grinning. Probably appearing mad, but not really caring. Something had clicked, and as a result our past animosity was wiped clean. There was an agreement that hadn't been there before.

He didn't kill me at least. Instead he stood waiting patiently for me to stop throwing up stomach acids.

I breathed deeply, focusing on getting enough oxygen into my blood. Neji hesitated, looking supremely awkward after witnessing the mess I was, but offered the seal of reconciliation with only a little bit of his natural stiffness faltering. I scrambled to my feet the best I could and accepted it.

"We should do this again. Sparring without sensei." I suggested and dried blood and vomit away from the corner of my mouth.

Neji snorted but seemed amused. "Sure."

We never did, but I didn't mind, the spirit of the offer was what had mattered.

In hindsight I may say that was a turning point.

Not anything particularly noticeable on the surface, if you look away from Sasuke's gasped surprise when I literally belly flopped through the doorway upon homecoming, but I still think it counted for something.

For the first time in my life I had lost and realized it didn't only mean the other person was better than me - but that I could still get up. Like when I waved away Sasuke's panicked flailing when he tried to scrape me off the hallway floor.

My otouto wasn't exactly on the same wavelength though.

Sasuke was ploughing through any contender for best of his year with determination alone, a burning need to grow strong that had his previous ambition seem like an absent part time hobby.

I was working hard too, but most of my energy went to paperwork and management. I was making the trek to the Uchiha district daily, because now that the legal stuff was finally getting in order, the area had to be packed away.

After Sasuke's four day stint camping in the district he had done a one eighty and refused to return. Leaving me to pack up the homes on my own.

Of course I wasn't alone on that task, there were ninjas there to help too, mostly Genin doing D ranks – some of the ones to show up were Izumi's old classmates, a depressing group with grave expressions who spoke in hushed voices. I was sympathetic to their grief. They had liked Izumi and grieved her death, and I realized I was hardly the only one to have lost a loved one, Sasuke was a constant reminder I couldn't escape, but once they finished I still requested for someone else to help out the next day.

As I had to oversee everything on a daily basis I had long since grown used to the district in it's lifeless aftermath. But it was up to me to decide what should be kept, what should be sold and what could be throw out. I had already decided to sell the district back to the village. If left as is it would become a ghost town, a momentum to the tragedy and abandoned. No matter how painful it would be to see strangers in my family's home, that other reality was worse.

It broke my heart and Sasuke's too, but when we discussed it - one of the few conversations about a sensitive matter that didn't resolve into screaming and insults - I reminded him that the district hadn't been the Uchiha grounds for all that long. It had only been there for about seven years, as the old ancestral district had been destroyed in the kyuubi attack. The few true Uchiha monuments that had survived would remain in our ownership, so he agreed without fighting me on the matter, even if he refused to help out.

No, he didn't have the time.

He had to train.

So every day after school I was sorting through the homes of three hundred and forty eight Uchiha.

Of course it affected my grades too.

Thanks to my rigorous clan training I had a large head start of course, so most probably didn't even notice it, but I no longer had the time or energy to keep up my old schedule, not the same support system nor the tutors available.

As a result I had fallen from first to third place on the ranking. Even if I had a more amiable relationship with Neji now, that didn't mean I was happy about this development.

It burned.

I could just picture my okaasan's disappointment if I had shown her the report card. My otousan's frown and following enquire about why I was allowing myself to fail.

I should be able to do both.

After all, Itachi would have been able to.

It took nearly a year before we settled into a rhythm that worked. I'm not sure how we found it, only that it was difficult and full of fights and disagreements.

We started a chore wheel for the sake of clarity and fairness, one we followed religiously to prevent the meaningless fights. I'm pretty sure those stemmed from our refusal to speak about Itachi's betrayal and the loss of our clan, so instead we argued about dishes and who's turn it was to scrub the toilet.

I'm still thankful to Suzume-sensei for suggesting the chore wheel after overhearing a heated squabble over who's hair was clogging the shower drain.

I was busy all the time and my dreams that had once been lively and full of details, were now empty. Unlike Sasuke I didn't have nightmares where I awoke screaming. The first time that happened I nearly had a heart attack. I had burst into Sasuke's room with shuriken and kunai, ready to kill and maim anything in my path, only to find the cause something I was powerless to protect him against.

"Don't you ever have them?" Sasuke had asked later, honestly curious underneath all that annoyed grouchiness from yet another bad night's sleep.

I shook my head. "No… I don't dream anymore."

I was sure Sasuke was going to answer with some snappy "lucky you." or similar, but instead he seemed to empathize with those words.

The only problem was that my brain had decided those absent random images which remained elusive at nights were better off popping up in a new format at inconvenient times. Like during class in the form of alien sensations, sounds that didn't fit or emotions that didn't feel like my own.

They were from that other life. That dead girl. At times I felt it fitted a little too well these days. After all I had remembered enough to understand I was a dead girl to go with my dead clan.

That parallel had me push away my dreams. Trying very hard to ignore the stories I had been so eager to share once. They scared me too much now.

My third year at the academy came to an end, I passed my exams, the new year started and then my birthday passed without either Sasuke nor I realizing I had turned ten until two weeks later.

It wasn't that we lost count of the days, we just completely failed to realize the date held any significance. Birthdays weren't large affairs, not like I recalled they had been once. Perhaps a cake if it was a round number or your favourite dish was made for dinner, but it had always been noticed at the very least.

So I picked up a calendar for our kitchen and made sure it wouldn't happen when my otouto turned nine that summer. When the date came around I celebrated it by preparing the usual breakfast and cleaning it up without nagging him to help, and when he left for class I told him a hurried; "Happy birthday" before he slammed the door, and that was that.

Despite how volatile we were in the beginning, time matters, and eventually we were so wrung out and exhausted to be angry. At least at each other. There were far better targets, and amazingly enough; once we stopped trying to make each other miserable things got drastically better.

The biggest milestone was when we started training together again, and it was a line I had been very uncertain about. After we had found a solution that worked for both of us with the whole domestic chore war debacle, I had asked Sasuke for help with my Sharingan.

"I want to try to use it in combat. I need to learn how." I explained nervously at breakfast one Sunday when we had the day off from the academy.

Sasuke had glanced at me, pursed lips and narrow eyed.

"Why me?"

I shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure. You know more about the Sharingan than any of my classmates, and I want to test how long I can keep it activated. If I faint I just thought it'd be better if..." I trailed off and gestured in his direction.

I had wondered what Sasuke would think if he found me passed out at home. Perhaps he'd roll his eyes and think nothing of it, but then again, maybe not. I wasn't eager to find out. Last time he found still bodies in his home it was our parents corpses.

Sasuke agreed, and we went out to train. I felt my uncertainty was valid, because I was young and I had no one to instruct me in the proper way to use my own bloodline.

There were many Uchiha who never activated the Sharingan, but of those who did there had been cases of fainting spells and incorrect usage, especially amongst children. Shisui had mentioned Itachi messing up which caused him some injuries, and Izumi had only been able to keep it activated for a very, very short time and would faint without fail until she was eleven or so years old, when she seemed to overcome it.

When we reached the field Sasuke preferred, a secluded little nock in the forest with some homemade poles for target practise, I activated my Sharingan.

Activation felt a little like pushing a small spark of chakra through my temple. Not exactly natural, but neither unpleasant or difficult once I had the hang of it. In the days after the massacre I had spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to activate the Sharingan again, and had even wondered if I had just imagined it because of the… stress… of the situation, until I figured it out after a stint of just trying out several random chakra exercises.

"They're lopsided." Sasuke stated dryly.

I scowled.

"Hey, at least I have the Sharingan!" I growled back, and my otouto snorted.

"Lopsided Sharingan." He corrected, and I was startled to hear humour in his voice. "You're defective, Jun."

"I'm not!" I argued heatedly. "It'll even out with time!"

Sasuke snickered, and it had been so long since he had been this easy going, I didn't even mind the fact he was poking at one of my insecurities.

Because yeah, why were they uneven? Was this a genetic fault? Had this happened before? Was it normal? I had no one to ask! I had to go mostly on faith, though I also had years of clan training and knowledge to remain hopeful they really would even out with time.

I just couldn't be sure.

"Come on, let's start so I can kick your arse!" I barked, getting into position and letting Sasuke do the same. His eyes were still light and teasing, and he knew I wasn't really angry.

Fighting with the Sharingan was very different from using it for paperwork.

I hadn't realized just how much information I was able to experience, and the fact I could predict Sasuke's movements were both a boon but also misleading in some ways. I basically got ahead of myself, trying to go from A to D, because I'd predicted the outcome, and so skipping B and C.

But my body could not keep up with my eyes, I was trying to react at Sharingan speed, but that caused me to strain myself instead. It was partly a success, because I did kick my otouto's arse, but I also hurt myself doing it.

It was also uneven. "Crap… I really am lopsided." I swore.

I had never, ever sworn, not aloud at least, and it was so unexpected my otouto actually stopped mid fight, his eyes wide. And as a unit we both looked left and right, as if expecting okaasan to jump out of the trees to start yelling at me for swearing.

There was an awkward silence, and then Sasuke laughed. He actually laughed. It was short but familiar and it made me ache. It also had me smile as well.

"I told you." Sasuke replied haughtily, brushing off his shorts.

"My right eye is superior to my left." I complained. "Both gives me superior eyesight than otherwise, but..." I flapped my arms up and down haplessly.

"It's still more detailed on my right, but the other side doesn't match, and..." I wasn't sure how to explain it, but it was very disconcerting. I hadn't noticed it while memorizing history homework or signing legal documents, but it was becoming very obvious when sparring with Sasuke.

"Perhaps you'll just have to keep one eye closed then." Sasuke japed.

"What? You little-" I started, and then stopped and actually thought of the suggestion. Of course it had been a joke to Sasuke, but actually… "Huh… perhaps I'll keep one eye closed. Let's try."

Sasuke arched a brow, his lips twitching, but complied.

_Fighting one eyed sucked._

Even if it was no longer unbalanced it left a huge blind spot I wasn't able to compensate for. Even with the Sharingan and a whole year more training Sasuke beat me that time.

We continued for nearly three hours, Sasuke taunting me into fighting first with my left eye closed, then my right.

The most annoying thing was probably physically keeping it closed. I knew how to wink, Shisui had taught me one hilarious session where he was looking after Yoko, Sasuke and I while everyone was gone.

Otousan had not been impressed.

But one thing was a quick wink, another was to actively keep one eye closed. It was physically challenging because I continuously had to fight down the instinctive need to open the eye again.

As annoying and unnatural as it felt, in the end I decided it was an option. I didn't know how long it would take for my Sharingan to mature. It could take years, that much I knew, and I needed to find ways to utilize what I had. The Sharingan was too useful not to use it, and so I decided to keep trying to fight with both, but also practise how to be comfortable fighting with only one eye open. It was something I could do even without activating the Sharingan.

"How are you feeling?" Sasuke asked while we were walking home. Me limping a little because of the strain in my leg.

Though we had decided to head home for lunch I had yet to deactivate the Sharingan.

"My eyes feel a little strained." I admitted. "But I'm not dizzy and my chakra reserves are not critical yet." I answered honestly. "Uncomfortable though." It was actually better than I had feared. I had used the Sharingan for three hours now, and I think I could keep going.

Sasuke nodded approvingly. "Good. But be careful. There's no need to injure your eyes by pushing too early."

He had a point there too. But I felt knowing my limitations was just as necessary for my Sharingan as it was for my strength or my stamina.

"When we fought it was more active, and it pulled more chakra." I said slowly. I wasn't entirely sure, but our spar had been purely taijutsu, the only chakra use was through my Sharingan.

"How much more?" Sasuke asked.

"Not too much, but… well, I guess the more information it has to read, the more I demand of it and the faster I want it to react the more chakra it devours. Isn't that logical?"

Sasuke shrugged. And yeah, I too wasn't sure about it, but I suspected I was right.

We didn't return to the training field after lunch. Sasuke had benched me, and had us finish our homework instead while remaining indoors. I think he wanted a short distance to a bed in case I swooned, and wasn't eager to drag my unconscious body through the village if we went somewhere else.

By afternoon my eyes itched like crazy. I was blinking repeatedly and my chakra reserves were very low. By two o clock I finally gave in, having kept them active for nearly six hours straight. Closing my eyes the Sharingan faded and I slumped.

When I opened my eyes it was as if everything was covered by a foggy filter.

I blinked and rubbed my eyes, hoping to adjust them back to normal. Sasuke was sitting next to me reading, but was keeping an eye on me over the edge of his book.

"Your eyes are really bloodshot." Sasuke commented mildly. That had started happening before I deactivated the Sharingan. I had also seen otousan, okaasan, Itachi and Shisui all walk around with blood shot eyes from time to time too.

I blinked and blinked, but everything was still so very dim.

"Oh" It suddenly dawned on me. "This is my regular eyesight?" I said it aloud, because wow, that was disconcerting. Had I really spent my entire life seeing so little? Had the world always been this veiled? How much I must have missed with only half the limitations of my sight...

I had been missing a lot when using the Sharingan to study the microscopic details of a text describing edible bark variations in Kirigakure for homework compared to using them in interactive live situations. It hadn't been nearly as strange to switch between the two ways of viewing the world before now.

"What?" Sasuke sounded confused about my strange little revelation.

"Everything looks so dim now." I grinned sheepishly. "It's just an adjustment to go back."

Sasuke nodded in realization and then returned to his book, dismissing me now that he knew I wasn't about to keel over.

All in all I thought the day a pretty good one.

Sasuke had become a loner at the academy, and though it worried me, who was I to talk? I wasn't exactly a queen bee either. Though respected for my abilities I'd never been good at social interactions, and after the massacre people were weary of me. Unlike Sasuke my silence wasn't cool or mysterious as his ever growing group of admires claimed, instead it was worrying and a sign of personal instability.

Well... I guess they kind of had a point, as I'm not going to claim I didn't have a couple new issues after my previously adored oniisan went insane and brutally murdered my friends and family. I kind of wonder who wouldn't be a little bit paranoid after such an incident. It was just really unfair that they ignored the exact same symptoms in my otouto just because he was a boy.

But even if I ignored ninety percent of my class there were a few people who I'd still work with. Shiho continued sitting with me, and actually moved to sit in Yoko's old seat. She had asked for permission beforehand, and because Yoko had liked Shiho I agreed.

Shiho wasn't a popular girl and didn't have a lot of friends, so perhaps the only reason she staid was because she had nowhere else to go, but we worked well together when we were paired up in class. She was actually annoyingly smart, and that reminded me why I hadn't liked her in the beginning.

Even if I'd never admit it aloud I didn't like that she was better in maths or logistics, and I honestly don't think I'd ever not be bothered by it, but perhaps I accepted she had a strength in a direction I wasn't as developed in.

At least a little.

On the other hand Shiho couldn't keep up in most other classes. Despite being distinguishably intelligent she only ranked in the middle of the class, and that was because her subpar chakra control and poor physical scores dragged down her flawless theoretical work.

I was making an effort with Shiho, she genuinely grieved Yoko deeply, and that had touched me. She hadn't been loud about it either, not like those of our classmates who burst into tears or put on a facade of sadness because it was the "right thing to do".

It wasn't fake exactly, but a couple of months later most were acting as if the death of Yoko or Taiko were old news. When I refused to follow their example they believed I had gone weird. That I was damaged.

Shiho didn't. She too was moving on in a way I couldn't, but she accepted that I wasn't able to do the same and never asked me to. Instead she tried to be of help as I was swallowed in paperwork and legal procedures I couldn't make head or tail of. And it was actually Shiho who found and recommended the people I had hired to help out.

As a thank you I tried helping Shiho improve. I asked her to join me for training after classes, though that didn't stick for very long.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Shiho said timidly one afternoon in Kunoichi class.

We were working on disguises, the class divided into groups of eight for each table. My table was a mix of years. The kunoichi classes were three times a week in the afternoon's but not mandatory, though most attended anyway.

Our table was littered with paints, powders, wigs and more things I couldn't name. There were a rack of outfits we could go select from, and we were all in full costume.

Like usual I had paired with Shiho and my task for the session was to make her look like a Maiko, - a server at a tea house, and in return Shiho had just finished making me look like a Goze. A somehow ironic luck of the draw for me, seeing as a Goze were traditionally visually impaired musicians.

"You just need to work harder." I replied sharply. I had noticed most of my verbal responses were shorter than before, but I just couldn't seem to control it most of the time. It felt much more natural than softening my voice.

Shiho barely avoided biting her wine painted bottom lip - she knew I'd give her hell for it. "I'm never going to be as fast as you. I can't keep up, and you get frustrated for the same reason. It's better if we just train individually when running. We can work on other things instead. Like this." She gestured towards the pair next to us on the table where Tenten was working alongside a girl in the year below us. A shy Hyuuga named Hinata who was nothing like Neji, and was currently being transformed into a "street urchin" by Tenten's expert hands, as instructed in the cards we picked at random at the beginning of class.

"It's what we're doing now." I said drily just as I finished up by removing Shiho's thick spiral glasses.

She began squinting at once, but I quickly handed her the contacts. Shiho was a kunoichi in training, and though blind as a bat without her glasses she could still manage without them. I held up the mirror and let her put them in herself.

"I hate contacts." Shiho grumbled. "They're better than nothing, but not nearly as good as my glasses. And they itch."

"It's just for an afternoon." I reminded her. "You need to get used to it in case you're ever in the field."

"I know." Shiho mumbled. "I can, but it's also the truth."

We didn't really klick without Yoko to mediate, but we were still making an effort because of her. The problem was that I was too hard and she was too agreeable.

Shiho blinked repeatedly as she got the last contact in. Her soft brown eyes pretty compared to the nerdy glasses, but nothing special next to the emerald pool's of her okaasan, or the piercing hazel gaze of her otousan.

It never failed to confuse me how little Shiho looked like either of her picture perfect parents. The both of them were glaringly eye-catching. There were definite signs hidden in the arch of her brow, or the length of her neck, but it had taken me several tries to locate the few common features.

"What about chakra control? You've been looking into alternate seals, right? That sounded interesting." Shiho tried, but sounded too unsure for me to buy it. Shiho had an interest in chakra manipulation, but she wasn't very good at it in practise. She had actually had me demonstrate a few techniques for her to understand the principles.

"Wouldn't we just end up with the same problem there? Me waiting for you to catch up?" I muttered under my breath, and Shiho's face hardened into annoyance.

So maybe that had been a bit blunt, but I didn't feel too bad about it either. It was true.

Shiho huffed. "Why don't you train with your otouto? Sasuke-kun is good at all that stuff too."

"I practise with him all the time." I replied with a shrug. "But he's busy focusing on his own training, and we see each other enough as it is." I noticed that another couple at the table - a blonde and pink duo in Sasuke's class - were listening in even more intently.

I turned towards them, out of patience with both of the two chatterboxes who had been especially annoying that afternoon. Why they had paired up at all was a mystery to me. From what I'd overheard they were not on friendly terms.

"Perhaps if you weren't so busy eavesdropping on my conversation your partner would look less like a tired prostitute and more like the rebellious farmer's daughter she's supposed to resemble." I snapped at the pink haired one, who was clearly not as gifted in disguises as her blonde friend was.

The pink one was already transformed into a privileged Yamato Nadeshiko, but her own work on the blonde in the chair – she was popular, I'd definitely heard her name a few times… Was it Ino? - wasn't very good. I got the idea, but the execution was all wrong. The line between "trashy" and "experimental-beginner-makeup" had been crossed somewhere in the mix of the too heavy eyeshadow and curly cerulean wig.

Pinky flushed, her mint green eyes widening and her reply was only a stammered mess under my unyielding disapproval. In the meanwhile Ino gave a yelp and threw herself towards the closest mirror. "Sakura!" She half whined, half commiserated as she saw her own reflection.

I turned away, dismissing the sudden argument that broke out between them as more background noise. "-and I need a partner for my genjutsu practise." I added to Shiho with a shrug.

It wasn't so casual though - I really needed someone to practise with. Lately I had crossed over from preexisting techniques like the "Hell Viewing" and other illusions where your attacks made your victim's mind come up with most of what they were exposed to - and into Shisui's preferred field of controlled genjutsu.

It was a lot harder, and I'd felt like a complete novice at genjutsu when I'd attempted it the first time. Which had been the last time I had practised with Shisui a couple of days before his death. It wasn't something you practised easily without a target though, and so it was only so far I could get on my own.

"Um… I really don't like your genjutsu." Shiho replied pointedly. "I get nightmares."

That only made me scowl. "Fine." I mumbled, because I wasn't going to force her.

Shiho looked uncomfortable, as if she had regretted that last admission, but wasn't about to back down either.

I sighed, dragging a hand through my hair.

"I can train with you."

The offer came out of left field, and I was so startled I didn't understand who had spoken at first.

Tenten was looking towards us, having finished with her own makeover project and was glancing from Shiho to me. "I have no genjutsu experience, so you'd have to teach me, but I'm willing to try if you need a partner."

"Why are everyone eavesdropping on our conversation?" I complained loudly, giving Tenten a pointed look that was perhaps sharper than I had intended. She recoiled at first, but straightened back her shoulders. Trying to cover up her initial reaction.

"Hey, unlike those two-" she nodded her head towards pinky and Ino who were now throwing makeup articles at one another and yelling about incompetence, pigs and self worth. "I can do two things at once. I am perfectly capable of eavesdropping on your overly loud private conversation and transform Hinata-chan into a street urchin at the same time. I mean; look at her." Tenten gave a flourish of her hand in Hinata's direction. "I nailed it."

"I d-do l-look like a misfortunate h-homeless outcast." Hinata stammered so quietly I barely heard the words. The girl was really selling it too. The whole; _"I'm small and insignificant, please don't look at me" _act worked well with Tenten's costume design. I was a little impressed how believable she was as a ryo-less delinquent cipher.

I smirked, "I guess you have a point." Then I turned towards Tenten, currently in a samurai getup, and gave her my full attention. "So you're interested in more advanced training?"

"I'm always up for more training, and besides I've never had much genjutsu practise outside the academy curriculum. And that's not exactly detailed, is it? If you're willing to give me a crash course, I can be target practise for you. If nothing else it'll be good to know what to look out for." She replied with a teasing upturn of her lips.

I thought about it. Tenten was pretty good with chakra. When learning seals she'd been one of the first to master the basic twelve, though more from diligent work than natural talent. She had decent chakra control but leant more in the direction of taijutsu and shurikenjutsu.

But she was also miles better than Shiho.

"You sure?" I asked carefully.

Tenten nodded. "When are you free?"

"Tomorrow after classes?" I suggested. I noticed Shiho seemed happier as well, so at least she didn't take offence from this. She actually looked relieved I had another "victim" as she'd once called it.

Tenten returned my grin. "I'm in."

That was the moment I got hit in the ear by a misaimed powder brush - or what _better be_ misaimed - and turned around slowly, my Sharingan activated, to glare down the now covering blonde little brat of a culprit who quickly ducked underneath the makeup table. Perhaps hoping it was enough of a physical and visual barrier – it wouldn't be.

Pinky took up the most innocent bystander pose possible, but the act was destroyed by the disheveled hair and the fact she was still holding a destroyed cerulean wig.

Safe to say the two girls ran out of kunoichi class without finishing.

After that I quickly found out Tenten was actually pretty cool and amazingly forgiving of past slights.

I had never been mean to her, but Tenten would have had to be both ignorant and blind to not have noticed I'd been dismissive of her. She was neither of those things, _of course _she had noticed, she even mentioned it, and I gave some crappy half truth which she accepted with only a sceptical glint in her eyes and a wry smile. If my entire family wasn't slaughtered she may have been harsher on me, but Tenten was at heart a kind girl.

I don't think I could say the same.

After a couple of practises we began collaborating in classes too, doing several projects together and though she wasn't Yoko - could never be Yoko - Tenten was a pretty good ally to have in my corner.

Once I had a lot of cousins to practise with, or clan members willing to spare a moment to give tips. They were gone now, and Sasuke wasn't actually interested in anyone's progress but his own. Which is how Tenten somehow became my regular training partner. It's not that Shiho didn't have drive, it's just it was directed in a different way, but Tenten was the same as me.

I taught her genjutsu, and in return I got to practise controlled illusions on her.

I think it helped her too, as Tenten had been hopeless at genjutsu before we began training together. It was kind of amusing putting her through the beginning stages and watch her flounder through the field while convinced I'd stuck her in an endless forest. Though thanks to necessity she was rapidly becoming decent at picking up on illusions even if she didn't show much aptitude in casting them.

Theoretical genjutsu practise was well and good, an useful base and a necessary stage, but I'd reached a level where I really needed someone to practise it on, and after what Itachi had done… I just… I didn't want to practise genjutsu with Sasuke if I didn't have to.

Controlled Genjutsu is kind of like making someone see the world through your eyes.

Sasuke knew me a little too well, and sometimes when casting that kind of genjutsu it could reveal just as much of the attacker as it did the victim.

What you chose to make someone experience said something about what the attacker believed. Who they were. What they thought was fearful, hurtful, paralysing - it took the darker parts of you and displayed it, and it revealed a lot. Especially to someone who knew the attacker on a personal level the way Sasuke knew me. The way Itachi had known me.

Putting together a new illusion and casting it on a subject was revealing that way. Sasuke could pick it apart, see the individual pieces and where they originated, but Tenten wasn't able to do the same. She didn't know me like my otouto did. Wouldn't know what part of the illusion had meaning to me or where it originated from.

Tenten couldn't turn it back on me. She didn't have that kind of power over me, and so it was easier to cast genjutsu on her than my otouto.

Though it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had practised with Sasuke. If I'd asked he probably would have agreed because it was useful training.

After all I didn't tell stories anymore, and Sasuke didn't ask for them.

We didn't practise more than a couple times a week, and after a few months we eventually evolved from specific topics of study to random sparring.

"Oh shit!" Tenten threw herself out of the line of fire. In this case it was not just a figure of speech either.

Shurikenjutsu and ninja wire was advanced bukijutsu and a speciality of the Uchiha clan. Adding fire release to it was an extra boost I had been struggling to get together.

I liked sparring with Tenten. Unlike Shiho who I was perhaps closer to, Tenten was fast enough to get out of the way once I threw things at her.

I hadn't expected Tenten to have a talent for this field, yet she'd been a big help. She had a good eye for all kinds of precision work with flying projectiles, and had given me several pointers after observing what I had so far. I had only vague memories of Itachi and Shisui's training, okaasan's few instructions and otousan's promise he'd get someone to teach me how it worked "soon".

At the moment the training field was littered with discarded shuriken with ninja wire connected to them. They all trailed back to my hand, and I'd just sent licking flames down the wire towards a wide eyed Tenten.

I wasn't actually trying to kill her, so I had waited a second just to make extra sure she wouldn't get caught in the fire. It was more to get used to using these techniques in an irregular and high paced environment. We weren't really sparring, it was more casting wild and half finished jutsu at each other without goal or meaning. I even stopped midway through to give Tenten time to find her misplaced smoke bombs so we could continue. It had been in her backpack, and I dryly noted she'd have to hope her future enemies would be so polite and wait for her to find her weapons next time.

"When did you learn that?" Tenten cried half laughing, half frustrated.

"Hn," I smirked from my location on the top of my boulder, "Sasuke and I finally figured out how to control the fire trajectory."

The thing about using ninja wire as a track for fire jutsu was that it actually made it less chakra wasteful and elongated the range. A normal Great Fireball had a standard range of five meters. Phoenix sage fire was kind of the same. After that my control of the jutsu slipped making it disintegrate, and so I had been working on attacks which would allow my katon jutsu to reach further. With wire I could make my firejutsu hit up to _thirty_ meters if I pushed enough chakra into it, and it wasn't more wasteful than a regular C rank katon jutsu.

The downside was obvious. You had to throw wire around, which had a chance of being noticed, cut or be misplaced entirely. That's why we connected it to shuriken, as it allowed for more mobility instead of a preset trap.

"That was a nasty surprise. I mean, one thing is dodging being skewed by shuriken, then you notice the wire, and the fact you're being blocked in, and then you set it all on fire." Tenten moaned in frustration. "So not fair!"

"You're great target practise, Tenten. I really appreciate it." I replied with a wicked grin. It didn't come across as teasing as I intended, because Tenten always looked a bit nervous when I said things like that. As if she wasn't sure if I meant it or not.

I had accepted my face wasn't very trustworthy or friendly, and made even worse after the massacre, as before then no one had been bothered. I think it was my eyes. The stress lines which had appeared hadn't gone away. I think they had become permanent, and they gave my eyes a sunken hard look.

Though I think Tenten was getting better at picking up on more subtle gestures, because after a moment of uncertainty she grinned back, open and friendly as always.

"Target practise?! I'll show you target practise! Let's see how well you like it!" She cried, taking out several kunai.

And then we set off again. Tenten was very precise with weapons, having equal scores as me in shurikenjutsu and had been so since the beginning even without a clan to train her, and so I would be a fool to remain stationary when she got serious.

I chuckled, mostly because Tenten's laugh was infectious. I dodged behind my boulder, grabbing several more shuriken which I prepared to launch.

The most surprising classmate who I found myself connecting with was Rock Lee.

No, I don't know how it ended that way either.

He approached me one afternoon halfway through fifth year and tried to talk to me. Despite normally being a loudmouth I'm not sure what he was trying to say, but I got the gist of it. He felt sorry for me, and that made me so angry I turned around, challenged him to a spar and proceeded to humiliate him thoroughly.

You wouldn't think spring rolls would be a very efficient weapon of choice, but my packed lunch was used creatively during that match. A group of Sasuke's classmates witnessed the entire scene, leaving the Akimichi boy with a bad impression of my priorities in life after watching me waste perfectly edible food. I'm pretty sure the Nara heir was traumatized for the same reason, but at the time I thought it quite necessary.

I'm not sure how Lee managed to interpret me beating him up as a declaration of friendship. But after that I couldn't get rid of him. He just kept pestering and pestering me at every turn while begging me to teach him how to fight like I did.

He was the dead last of the class, and after so much exposure to his presence I finally found out why. Though not intelligent his taijutsu wasn't that bad after all, and I had never understood how anyone could be _that_ bad at chakra classes as he was.

"I'm incapable of using ninjutsu or genjutsu, not like you do." Lee admitted. "But you fought very well even without using your Sharingan. Please teach me!"

I turned around, folded my arms over my chest and gave him my best scowl. One I had learned and perfected to look just like otousan at his most annoyed.

"No, you loser. You're annoying!"

Lee got misty eyed, and I was mortified to realize he was about to cry. I didn't make people cry. I wasn't a bully… I wasn't… I wasn't _supposed_ to be a bully.

I suddenly recalled Yoko again. It had been a while since she popped up, but at that moment her voice rang in my head. She had once defended Lee to me when I had been harsh, calling him dead last and hopeless.

"_He's not naturally talented, not like you, but he works very hard, Jun. Don't make fun of him for trying his best."_

I'm not sure those were the exact words nor even if I had the right tone of voice, but the meaning was clear. I had never spoken bad about Lee to Yoko or anyone else after that. Not before now.

Was this what shame felt like? Kami, it was awful.

I caved.

"I won't teach you, I don't have the time and I have my own training to do, but..." I glanced away, not able to look at the nervous little wreck in front of me anymore. He was just so pathetic. "I guess you can join me for practise after classes if you.…I don't know, want to or whatever. I sometimes use the academy targets on Thursdays."

Lee looked hopeful.

"Really?"

I sighed, knowing I had already lost.

"Sure."

And somehow I ended up training with him. Not regularly or even that often. I just joined him from time to time, either throwing shuriken and kunai or katas, and only shared a few tips I'd gathered over the years.

I won't say any of them were my friends. My friends were dead, and I had no need to fill in the spots with replacements. But I had someone to grow stronger with. People who helped me get to the level I needed to be at. I needed to be better, needed to reach a level where if nothing else I'd be able to stand against Itachi.

I wasn't sure if I could kill him, didn't know if I'd be able to do it if I was ever faced with him again, but if nothing else I needed to hold out long enough so Sasuke could get away.

I couldn't lose him. Itachi wasn't allowed to take him too.

Itachi had made sure I had already lost in life, there was no way to play in a game where the board had been broken. I was never going to win that match.

The worst had already happened, so in comparison all this effort I put into moving on was just damage control. But I had one person left to me who I was unwilling to gamble away.

So I tolerated Shiho's subpar level of commitment to the ninja way, at least she was someone to measure myself against in theoretical subjects. Smiled and trained with Tenten so she would help me with target practise. I worked myself relentlessly, and by the end of my sixth and final year I'd crawled back up the rankings until I was once again at the very top.

Much to Neji's furious dismay.

And though not my friends, they were my comrades, and I was starting to realize that had a certain value too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been thinking about what the aftermath of losing the entire police force would have had for a community. Just imagine if every law enforcer was just gone in a few hours - what do you think would happen?
> 
> I think a military dictatorship like Konoha would fare a lot better than we'd do in the real world, but still, that would probably be one massive mess that probably escalated for quite a while after the initial attack. Either by more crime or perhaps just the internal structure of the village being completely messed up when such a crucial part was suddenly gone. Perhaps Danzo had some contingency plans, but Hiruzen effectively fired him that night, and so he probably wasn't able to act much in the time after the massacre. Just a thought.
> 
> Some clarifications from this chapter: 
> 
> Maiko – women who served green tea and dango to people who visited the Kitano Tenman-gū or Yasaka Shrine (these are the two of the famous shrines in Kyoto) at teahouses in the temple town about 300 years ago.
> 
> Yamato Nadeshiko - is a Japanese term meaning the "personification of an idealized Japanese woman.
> 
> Goze - is a Japanese historic term referring to visually-impaired Japanese women, most of whom worked as musicians.


	5. Team Nine - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not beta'd, English is not my native language and so I apologize for the mistakes.

Team Nine - Part 1

"Good luck today."

The comment came out of the blue. I glanced up and found my otouto studying his cup of tea intently, wilfully ignoring the baffled expression I aimed at him.

Most bystanders would probably think I was simply giving him a bored look. My Uchiha tendencies ran deep, and even to this day I wasn't one to naturally over emote. That aside, it had been sweet of him to wish me well, but pretty random.

The little comment would've been more fitting a few days before when I was in the middle of exams and stressing out. Whatever Sasuke's reasons though, today was my first official day as a Genin of Konohagakure. So perhaps it wasn't that odd to receive some well wishes.

Because of a lack of information I wasn't sure what to expect, and so approached the day as any other. I had dressed in my regular training gear, though there was one difference in the form of my shiny new forehead protector.

The graduation exam had been three days ago, which had marked the end to my steadily rising blood pressure and sugar intake. I had a thing for eating sweets while studying, a bad habit really, but I felt it helped. The downside was that this exam had at long last revealed my weakness to Sasuke, and the next morning I awoke to find he'd switched my storage of easy treats with fruits. That had been followed by a half hour lecture about unhealthy eating habits and training retrogressions.

Now that I've reached the other side of the tunnel I guess I owed him for that, though at the time I had been pretty furious he had flushed my stack of chocolate frosted cookies from the neighbourhood bakery.

I had gone in confident I would graduate - I worked and studied too hard to fail - so what had made the entire event such an exhausting experience was my refusal to place behind Neji.

I had once promised okaasan I would beat him, and as afraid as I had been of disappointing my parents when they were alive, the pressure of the dead was even greater.

It had been a hard won victory, and not as clear as I would have liked.

The title "Rookie of the Year" was a bit misleading. Some believed it went to the highest scoring student of the year, which wasn't necessarily true, instead it went to "the best student that graduated that year" – meaning_ all our scores _since the very first day of the academy counted, and not just the final twelve months. Every tiny score we received during tests and evaluations were kept documented throughout the years, and the last tally was what decided who took the "Rookie of the Year" title.

You can just imagine how maddening the back and forth had been between me and Neji. He had regularly scored a point or two above me in taijutsu, but I did the same in ninjutsu. He beat me in strategy, I beat him in cooperation. I beat him in genjutsu, he beat me in stealth, I beat him in stamina, he beat me in strength. And so forth and so forth.

I had started out ahead of him, but fell off after the massacre before I managed to catch up again, which meant it was a real nail biter there at the end.

It was so close Funeno-sensei was depending on the results of the final exams to figure out which of us would be the Rookie of the Year. Which again was the source of my above average sugar intake.

It was a great relief when I left the academy grounds three days ago with my new standard issue Konoha headband and the Rookie of the Year title, while a stony eyed Hyūga Neji marched home as the runner up and top shinobi.

I had proved to myself and Sasuke I could do it, but now that I had finished I was left in tense anticipation wondering what was to come.

The last few days of nothing to do had only increased my restlessness, and even spending long hours on the training ground had only helped minimally with my growing expectations. The day before I had wandered down to the administration building and filed my paperwork, and taken my ID photo for my ninja registration card, but even that had only taken an hour in total.

I knew we'd get more information at the academy today, and I was more than ready to get started.

Sasuke was another matter. His end of year scores showed that like usual he was placed comfortably at the top, and was much more relaxed in his position than I had ever been.

This would be his final year at the academy and though he was ready to begin with classes again he did not mind training on his own too. His classes wouldn't start until the next day, so he was eating a pretty late breakfast with me for a change.

"Thanks, I'll see you later, otouto." I called as I got up, grinning sheepishly when he scowled at me, though there was no heat in it.

"Hn."

I was one of the last to arrive to class, though not the latest. For once Funeno-sensei was five minutes late, and when he finally arrived he was sweating and panting, his sweater inside out and he acted pretty stressed.

He appeared as if he'd knocked into a minor whirlwind, dragged off course and then hadn't had the time to readjust his mindset before class. So distracted he began the farewell speech only to find out halfway through he'd brought along his grocery list instead of the assignment sheet.

The man just seemed to be having a bad day all around.

Tenten had taken the open seat next to Shiho today, and I could hear her cackle as Funeno-sensei jogged back out the door to hunt down the sheet he'd misplaced.

Before sensei had hurried inside everyone had been animatedly chatted amongst ourself with nervous energy, and once he was gone again everyone broke into a renewed round of mutters. "I think sensei woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." Shiho sighed and adjusted her glasses.

"Yeah, I wonder what happened to frazzle him so." Tenten agreed, leaning forwards to make eye contact with me. Her smile was sharp.

"What did he mean about an assignment sheet anyway? I thought we were done here. Can the academy still set us assignments even after we've graduated?" I asked curiously, wondering what that was about.

Shiho and Tenten both turned to me, then towards the door.

"No, I think it's probably the team assignments." Tenten replied with a shrug.

I stopped, trying to figure out what Tenten had meant by that. "Team… assignment?"

That comment had Shiho and Tenten looking at me as if I was being obtusely slow.

"Yeah." They chorused as if it should have been obvious.

"What team assignment?" I asked, because though I'm pretty sure this was the wrong thing to ask, I couldn't just not know either.

"Genin team assignments… Haven't you heard of them?" Shiho asked, her brow furrowed as she exchanged another glance with Tenten.

"Ah, it's probably because of..." Tenten trailed off, even if I wished she wouldn't. Tenten wasn't shy, so when she tried to misdirect a subject that way, I knew she was speaking about the massacre. Really, people had become very mindful about not mentioning it to me or Sasuke. It had become nearly annoying how careful people were to not mention it. Then again, if they just spoke about it to me I'd probably react badly as well, so maybe the awkward trail off was the lesser evil.

"What Tenten is referring to is the Genin team system. When a class graduates the academy they are divided into genin teams. Ideally the number of graduates adds up so teams consist of three students each under the tutelage of one jonin sensei. If the number doesn't add up a student can be assigned a pre-existing team to fill a vacant spot or enter an apprenticeship under certain conditions." Shiho rattled off, sounding as if she was reading directly from an instruction manual.

"I see… Do we get a say in these teams?" I wondered, even if I could probably guess the answer to that.

"No." Tenten replied.

"For how long?" I enquired, leaning forwards, a little stressed about the concept now.

Shiho and Tenten shared another look, before the latter answered me with a sheepish little smirk. "It varies. Some stays together for a while, perhaps a couple years? I'm not sure. I don't think there's a hard rule for it. Then there's those who remain working with their team their entire career."

"Excuse me?"

Tenten giggled at my horrified expression, while Shiho patted my shoulder consolingly. "Don't worry so much about your potential teammates, Junko." My bespectacled classmate said soothingly.

"Yeah, worry about what sensei you get instead!" Tenten agreed with what I could only describe as malicious eagerness. There was a glint in her eye she usually only wore when keeping hidden ace up her sleeve during our sparring matches.

"Why should I worry about that instead?" I asked, knowing I was playing into her hands but unable to pass over such an ominous statement.

"Apparently there's a sensei that keeps denying people onto his team." Tenten said.

"Denying people?"

Tenten was nodding eagerly, and obviously enjoying my complete lack of knowledge on this topic. Perhaps because it was usually the other way around. "Yes. I heard he's really strict and sent them back to the academy to repeat another year."

I blanched, horrified at the very idea. Repeat a year?

"I'm sure you don't have him, Junko." Shiho comforted me with an assured nod. "And no one can be forced back to the academy. You can go to the genin corp if all else fails."

I'm sure Shiho meant well, but it kind of had the opposite effect.

I tried to imagine Sasuke's face if I told him I had failed and would have to graduate with his class. I don't think I'd ever regain my otouto's respect if that happened.

I was about to demand more, because that last bit had startled me, but that was when Funeno-sensei returned, cutting off all chatter in the room once more. His cheeks were a little red, most likely from the embarrassment of mixing up his documents rather than the jog back and forth from the teachers lounge. He was an active chūnin, the stretch was hardly far enough to wind him.

"Alright, let' try this once more, eh?" He sheepishly scratched his chin, a nervous tick he fell back on whenever he had lost the trail of a lecture.

"Again; congratulation to you all for passing the graduation exam. I'm really proud of you." He gave a warm smile that had several of my classmates puffing out their chests with renewed confidence. I saw Shiho's shoulders lean back and Tenten's smile widen. I wasn't sure if I had such a tell, but I knew it was less visible than the other two girls. In fact, I glanced at Neji, who was as stone faced as ever.

I had heard several times we were pretty similar, so I probably looked a lot like that too.

"You're now recognized as protectors of Konohagakure, and as fresh graduates you'll be placed in teams of three genin under the leadership of a jōnin. The teams have been carefully put together and approved by Hokage-sama, so even if you don't agree with your placement there will be no alterations. You're seen as adults in the eyes of the village, and with that responsibility on your shoulders I expect a certain level of maturity from each of you no matter who you have to work with."

I felt a twinge in my stomach as he glanced at me at those words.

"I'll call out your placements now. Please pay attention."

Funeno-sensei looked down at the sheet and started calling out the teams immediately. "Team one will consist of..."

While sensei spoke I watched as several of the kids in class either cheered, was surprised or outright disappointed as the teams were revealed.

"Team three will consist of Iroha, Tarō and Jirō, your jōnin sensei is Hatake Kakashi." The three brothers at the back of the room grinned at one another, and I idly wondered how that would turn out. They were family but also had to work together from now on. I'm not sure I would have liked it if I had to do the same. Somehow I couldn't picture being on a team with Sasuke… Not because we couldn't collaborate, but because we already lived together. It'd be kind of overkill to have to work together as well. We'd never get rid of one another.

"Team four will consist of Shiho, Akimichi Makaro and Tenten. Your jonin sensei is Yamashiro Aoba." Funeno-sensei called out. And just like that the two people I worked best with went in one swoop. I bit my lip as both my table mates perked up and grinned at being together.

I felt a little bit cheated here.

Our sensei called a few more teams before I heard my own name. "Team nine will consist of Uchiha Junko, Hyūga Neji and Rock Lee. Your jōnin sensei is Might Gai."

To hide my scowl I folded my hands so they covered the bottom half of my face.

Fantastic. I'm not sure what I hoped for, but I'm pretty sure if given a choice of anyone in the class these two, especially together, would be the terror two to have on your team… Neji might be skilled, but it was still _Neji._ We had yet to hold a civil conversation about anything but shuriken projectile calculations. And that was two years ago, otherwise we existed in communal silence. While Rock Lee was… Lee.

Next to me Tenten and Shiho weren't bothering to hide their reactions and kept sending me understanding and sympathetic glances.

I was honestly suspecting someone very bored in the administration building had done one of two things when putting the three of us together. Either they'd been pulling names out of a hat at random, and considering my lot in life that was possible. Or they were so bored they put us together for the entertainment value and was now setting us loose on the village just to see how much damage we'd cause, probably for the sole reason of fighting off the tedium of their dreary desk jobs.

Funeno-sensei finished off the list and smiled widely while gathering his stuff together, preparing to leave once more. "We'll take a break for lunch where I suggest you spend time with your new teammates. Come back in forty five minutes and you'll be collected from the classroom by your new jōnin sensei. Good luck everyone."

Well, I could only hope this Might Gai was a sensible figure.

The first thing Shiho did was turn to me, a sympathetic tilt to her brow that didn't really make me feel much better. "Good luck with your new team, Junko."

"Yeah, good luck, Jun-Jun." Tenten added and stood up while our class had clattered into action. The volume had gone up abruptly as everyone had erupted into chatter and movements.

I stood up from my desk, glancing at the row behind me where Lee was smiling widely and giving me the thumbs up. "Junko! We are now teammates under the same jōnin sensei! Konoha's Sublime Green Beast of Prey!"

I blinked.

Tenten, who had been about to leave, stopped mid step and turned back at us with the same disbelieving expression as I was trying to avoid making. Did he just say what I think he said? "I'm sorry? What did you say?"

Lee looked very put out that I didn't automatically catch on to what he was speaking about, but before he could answer Neji cut into our conversation. He'd made his way over from his own row to stand in front of my desk, arms folded in front of him and the typical sullen frown on his face.

"You know who our sensei will be?"

Lee nodded energetically. "Yosh! I've already met Gai-sensei! He inspired me to do my best and work hard to achieve my goals!"

I stood up to join the crowd while Lee decided to take the shortcut by jumping over the desks, down two rows and onto the floor. He was almost vibrating with energy.

"Really? I didn't know you were so well connected with the elite of the village. Do you know a lot of jōnin?" I asked, curious about this side of Lee.

I never got the impression he knew many people. He was very loud, very intense and quite a lot to deal with at a time. I had always preferred him in smaller portions, and I wasn't unique in that regard.

"Eh? No, unfortunately I have not had the opportunity to know many jōnin, Junko. Only Gai-sensei, and we met a year ago!"

I tilted my head, having partly expected that answer. "That's lucky." I said wryly. "To think that of all the jōnin in the village you'd end up with a sensei you know and admire." I mused, starting to think there was no such thing as luck involved at all.

Lee didn't seem to catch my hint. "It is!" He smiled brilliantly, missing the point entirely.

Though Neji had caught on, and I heard him give a "tsk" sound as he turned away.

We followed the crowd outside, Lee doing most of the talking by filling Neji and I in on what he knew of Gai-sensei.

From what I gathered he was a taijutsu master, "fantastically inspirational" and "very cool". They didn't know each other as well as I first suspected, as Lee claimed they had only spoken a couple of times where he had given Lee a few tips for how to improve on his taijutsu.

It actually explained a lot. Rock Lee had been dead last for a long time, mostly because without the ability to use jutsu his scores had suffered badly. His theoretical work wasn't very good either, but his taijutsu had been passable, at least in the beginning. I'd give him credit for hard work despite being born with zero talent. Even I had noticed that.

Neji remained quiet the entire meal, barely touching his lunch, leaving me to ask pointed questions.

Though I couldn't be certain, my conclusion was that Gai-sensei most likely took this team to get Lee as his student, which didn't really bode well for me and Neji. A strange turn of events which I found both insulting yet a bit amusing. After all; Neji and I were the best in class, so you'd think it would have been the other way around, wouldn't you?

Though perhaps I was judging too quickly. I'd find out soon enough what the deal with Gai-sensei was.

We returned to class and this time everyone had seated themselves according to teams. Shiho waved at me when I passed the row I normally occupied, Makaro sitting in my usual spot while Tenten was nearly bouncing in anticipation.

We slid into the row Neji usually sat at, Lee in the middle with me next to the isle, and soon after the jōnin began showing up. A purple haired woman picked up team one, a nondescript dark haired man came to get team 5, but I took extra notice as a guy with spiky black hair and sunglasses introduced himself as Yamashiro Aoba and collected team four. Tenten gave me a wobbly grin when she left, while Shiho had grown increasingly nervous and was so distracted she left without a backward glance.

The next to come in stood out from the rest. Mostly because of all the Green. And yes, the capital G was necessary.

He was tall with tanned skin and a wide mouth. His black hair was styled in a shiny bowl cut of a hairdo, his brows grew thickly and close together, but most noticeable was how he was built like a tank. All ninjas were strong, and it showed in their physiques, but this man was unusually muscular even amongst ninjas.

Then to top it off he was wearing a green unitard, orange leggings and a red belt with the Konoha headband stitched onto it.

When he entered everyone just had to take a moment to stare. The man just drew attention.

And I had a sinking feeling the moment I spotted him.

Didn't Lee say something about a Green Beast?

"I am Might Gai and I'm here to pick up team nine." He boomed in a deep, carrying voice.

Lee nearly threw himself out of his seat before he finished speaking, while Neji and I decided it would probably be best to let our third teammate lead on this one.

We followed the two out of the room to curious glances and whispers from our fellow classmates, many who seemed relieved this man had turned out to be someone else's sensei.

Gai-sensei didn't waste any time and directed us out into the hallway as another jōnin went inside to pick up their team.

He turned to us, his hands coming to rest on his hips and a kind smile broke across his face. At least he wasn't trying to intimidate us. With his size he had a fair chance of managing so. Also… the entire wardrobe choice was a bit off putting in itself.

"Hello students! Before we get to work we need to have a team meeting! I have decided that for our first talk we'll go somewhere more comfortable. Meet me at the roof of the genin lounge for a proper team talk! Let's go!"

And then he ran off.

The sheer speed of his departure from the now empty corridor was so swift I was half convinced it had been a shunshin and not just an abrupt sprint.

Lee gave a cry of "Yosh!" and sprang after him, and as that had pretty much been a direct order Neji and I were not far behind.

It wasn't a long run. The academy building was only a block away from the Genin lounge, and from there it was just a matter of finding out which building he had meant. The Genin lounge was a collection of four buildings, so there were several roofs he could have been speaking about.

Gai-sensei was extremely fast, and by the time the three of us had rounded the last corner he was already out of sight. Though after a quick overview I took an educated guess and pointed at the couple of startled Genin standing in the doorway of the next tallest building.

They certainly had the expressions of someone who had just encountered an unexpected scare, and Neji agree with me.

We ran up the staircase and out onto the roof where Gai-sensei was awaiting us with keen impatience. "You made it! Fantastic! Come, come, sit down. We have a few things to discuss."

He gestured to the seats by the roof's railing. It was a nice outdoor seating area and we had the entire thing to ourself. I wasn't sure if it was just not used much, if it had been booked or if Gai-sensei had somehow scared everyone away. I thought all three possibilities likely, and not mutually exclusive.

Lee skipped over and took a seat, while Neji found a place on the other side. That left me with the middle, and all three of us turned expectantly towards Gai-sensei once we were comfortable. I won't deny it, I was nervous about this, and I still didn't know what to expect.

Gai-sensei looked at each of us in turn, his smile still friendly and encouraging, and not just when he looked at Lee either. That had to be a good sign, right?

"My name is Might Gai and I'm very happy to have you here today. I know something about all of you already. Of course we have the hard working Rock Lee," He pointed straight at Lee. If the movement hadn't been so demonstrative and powerful I would have thought it offensive, instead it just looked… fanciful?

"Then there is the Rookie of the Year, Uchiha Junko!" He continued, his pointing finger snapping over to me, resting just long enough for him to finish his little comment, before moving to the last.

"And Neji, a genius shinobi of the Hyūga."

He finished with reforming his hand gestures from pointing rudely into a quick thumbs up and adding on a crooked smirk for effect.

"Yosh!" Lee shouted in agreement, though I wasn't sure what he was answering.

With a satisfied nod Gai-sensei folded his arms over his chest. Drawing attention to his bulging biceps. There really was no way to ignore that the unitard was quite revealing.

"From today you are Genin, but you still have a long way to go. To start off I want to take this time to hear your goals." Gai-sensei started, indicating for us to do just that and start speaking.

Neji leaned back, his arm coming to rest against the back of his seat. It was almost as if I could see the wall rise around him. The drawbridge being pulled up and the windows shutting around the boy. "I don't want to answer that."

I struggled against the urge to roll my eyes.

In contradiction Lee looked as if he wanted nothing more than to dive head-first into whatever our new sensei wished or desired. To my left Lee was sitting ram rod straight like a strung piano wire as his hand shot up in the air. "Sensei!" He called much too loudly, "I want to prove that even without mastering ninjutsu or genjutsu, one can become a great ninja! That is what I live for!"

From my right side I heard Neji scoff, and unfortunately so did Lee. He jumped to his feet and pointed at the Hyuuga angrily. "Hey, what's so funny?!"

Neji glanced at Lee as if that should be obvious. "Listen, if you can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu, you can't be a ninja. What? Are you stupid?"

The words were cruel, even if I kind of got what Neji was getting at. I honestly agreed with him a little, and Lee was clearly touchy about the subject too.

I wasn't sure but Neji didn't seem to know about Lee's condition. If not he wouldn't react this way… Right?

Gai-sensei did not look as if he agreed though. Instead he winked at Lee, his grin broadening as he intervened. "No. That's not necessarily true, if one has the passion."

He shifted to face Lee. "If you spend your youth with a good rival, sparring together and honing your skills, there's no doubt you will become a fine ninja." He shifted position to give Lee yet another thumbs up. "But you will need determination."

Lee brightened, and I was certain there were actual stars in his eyes when he looked up at Gai-sensei. "Yes!"

Sensei nodded and spoke again "What about you?"

With all the dramatics it took me a moment to realize he was talking to me this time.

"Hn..." I shrugged. "Goals?" I pronounced it as if it was a foreign word.

_K__eep Sasuke safe? _ _B__e strong enough that I don't have to fear Itachi anymore? _ _T__o make sure nothing like _ _that_ _ever _ _happen_ _again?_

I could say a lot here.

Yet I didn't.

It really wasn't any of their business.

"Get better." I said vaguely.

All three males seemed to expect me to say more, but I kept silent as they waited for me to speak again. Instead I shrugged and looked up at the sky.

Gai-sensei tilted his head when the silence stretched into awkwardness. "Well, my goal is to train an excellent team!" He finished, grinning widely at each of us in turn. "However, if it'll be you is still not certain."

He switched from confident and cheery to serious very fast. I was getting whiplash from following the mood swings in this conversation.

His words seemed to have agitated Neji out of his "too elite to contribute" attitude at least. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You may have graduated, but it's up to the individual senseis to decide if they will take on a team or not. If the genin are not satisfactory the jōnin are free to reject them. So to decide who is qualified there's another test." Gai-sensei's smile was positively wicked as he said this.

I swallowed.

I had not known that. Again I wondered how I had not heard of this before.

"What happens if we fail?" I asked nervously.

Gai-sensei shrugged. "You'll have other options, but know that if I fail you it's as much for your own sake as it is mine. It means we are not suited to work together."

"What test is this Gai-sensei?" Lee asked, sounding distressed at the idea of not being able to work with Gai.

"You will find out Lee. Meet me at training ground seventeen tomorrow at five for the test! Prepare yourself! Only those in the springtime of youth will prevail!"

Then there was a burst of smoke, and Gai-sensei was gone.

"Ah! Gai-sensei is so cool!" Lee exclaimed.

I was still a bit dazed by the entire whirlwind of a meeting.

For the first time Neji and I locked eyes and I was sure that for once we were on the exact same wavelength.

Though the meeting was eventful, it had also been pretty short and I still had most of the day left at my disposal.

Lee was so fired up he went running down the street shouting about how he would prevail and conquer all. At the same time Neji shuffled away pretending he had never met Lee in his entire life, leaving me to go off on my own as well.

I would admit I was bit worked up too. I wanted to prove to Gai-sensei I had what it took. That there was no test he could put me through that I'd fail. No way was I going back to the academy or to the Genin corp! Who did he think he was?

So instead of heading home I went training, motivated to do well and push myself, and as a result time ran away from me.

I came home after Sasuke, who for once had started making dinner without my prompting. It never failed to surprise me to realize Sasuke was a good cook when he wanted to be. After all he rarely bothered.

While he prepared the food I washed up quickly and then went to set the table. By the time we were sitting down to eat it was dark outside.

"How did it go?" Sasuke asked.

His question had me a bit stumped. "I- eh… am not sure." I replied honestly. Sasuke arched a brow and stopped eating to give me his full attention. "I didn't know that after graduation there would be team placements." I explained.

From Sasuke's blank face I gathered he had no idea what I was talking about.

Good, then it was not just me. I had been a bit worried I had missed something obvious.

I knew Konoha teams usually came in smaller formations of either three or four, one only had to walk down the street to notice the similar setup just about everywhere, but I didn't know we were assigned a specific one from the very beginning.

Thinking back I always had the impression Itachi had been floating between several divisions and squads for most of his career, and couldn't recall any mention of a "genin team" the way Shiho and Tenten had spoken about it. But Itachi had been an exception in so much, so perhaps he skipped that as well? Then again, I had been three years old when Itachi graduated, and my memory of that time was patchy at best.

"Genin teams." I clarified, pushing away Itachi's face from my mind and explained how it worked. By the end Sasuke was frowning, looking very dubious of this idea as a whole.

"So my teammates are Hyūga Neji and Rock Lee. My sensei is Might Gai…a taijutsu master and a jōnin. I'm not sure how to describe them really..." I trailed off, honestly at a loss for words. It was still early, and perhaps things would be different after the test. Maybe I'd have something more to tell Sasuke by then.

"Hyūga Neji… He's the one from your class." Of course Sasuke had heard of Neji. He was my academic rival, and I had gone off on a rant or two about how much of an intolerable arse he could be.

"Yes. And I'm a little apprehensive, because with what I've seen so far I'm starting to think he might be the normal one."

The next day I arrived at the training ground fifteen minutes early.

It was on the east side of the village, a grassy plain with forests to the side and a hilly slope towards a river on the other. It was one of the more spacious grounds with a few target posts at the edge of the grounds.

I had never used one of these before. There was too much space for just little old me, so I hadn't seen the need to apply to use one.

Lee was already present and well into his warm up routine when I got there. I wasn't sure what we would be doing, but morning stretches had never hurt my performance before, and so I joined in.

Standing with my legs straight I bent forwards until my upper body was resting against my thighs, my fingers playing with the straws of grass on the ground. Even without warming up I was flexible enough for only a small twinge to make itself known. I held for a minute and straightened up.

Next I widened my legs until I had a steady footing, and bent forwards once more. It was even easier than the previous pose, but it was a habit by now. Next I leaned to the right, my fingers clutching around my right foot, before doing the same on the other.

By the time I straightened up we had been joined by Neji, who wordlessly fell into steps with me when I started stretching my arms and back.

When I looked to my left I found Lee standing in a bridge, so he was clearly a bit ahead of me and Neji.

We continued stretching until five on the dot, when Gai-sensei appeared at the edge of the field at a fresh jog.

"My youthful students! What a lovely day we've been blessed with. If we give it our all it will be a day of willpower and endurance, where I will test the strength of your convictions."

"Youthful?" I muttered under my breath. I guess he was correct in a way. We were twelve years old - at least for a little while longer and then I'd be thirteen - but I still had no idea why he kept using words like that.

"I am ready Gai-sensei! I will prove the strength of my conviction and pass your test!" Lee declared passionately.

"What is the test, sensei?" I asked, because that was what I had been wondering about the most.

"The test is both hard and simple." Gai-sensei replied mysteriously, his arms coming to fold in front of him. The sun was rising behind him, silhouetting his form and making long shadows towards us. "You will fight me with all you got and show me your will to endure!"

"The test is to fight you?" Neji clarified, a brow arched. Probably because that sounded like any other spar.

"Yes. The three of you against me!" Gai-sensei switched pose in a flurry of upturned dust, and next he was standing at the ready. "Come!"

"GYYAAH!" Lee let off a war cry that could probably be heard to the top of the Hokage mountain, and then he was off.

In contradiction I retreated and watched as Lee engaged in a taijutsu match with Gai-sensei. Lee was punching, kicking and jumping, but sensei dodged around him fluidly.

Lee hadn't hit a single time.

I reached into my hip pouch and brought out my shuriken.

In a whirl of evasion movements Lee twirled and tried to do an axe kick. It didn't work as Gai's grip caught Lee's leg, and then he threw the boy away as if he was nothing but a stick on the ground blocking his afternoon stroll.

By then I had already acted. The shuriken was flying towards Gai-sensei as he was letting go of Lee's leg, and though they should have been in a blind spot - he was turned in the wrong direction to see them coming - he twisted around the flying projectiles smoothly. Sensei turned towards me, and so I was up next.

I activated my Sharingan, but Gai-sensei's eyes disconnected, landing somewhere on my nose.

So he was knowledgeable about the strengths of the Sharingan then. Gai-sensei ran at me.

For a split second I faltered, and though I was honestly terrified some distant corner of my mind appreciated how scary it was to have a fully grown muscle brute like Gai-sensei run at you with the intention to hurt you.

I barely had time to palm my kunai before I was forced to defend myself.

I was good in taijutsu, but from the moment I first saw Lee's punch be swept aside as if Gai had swatted away a buzzing bumblebee I'd known we were outclassed. My best option was to retreat to gain distance and attack from mid to far range.

The only problem was that Gai-sensei wasn't letting me do that.

I was dodging, flipping and slashing more than upright trying to hurt him.

He had already figured out my strategy, because no matter what I tried he kept closing the distance. I was already starting to breathe faster, and if it wasn't for my activated Sharingan I would have several more painful bruises from chops and hits.

I managed to twist under Gai-sensei's leg, rolling on the ground and jumped to my feet. My hands twisted into seals while I was still rising. Tiger - Boar – Tiger – Horse -

I was nearly there, only one seal left – ox - but then it was too late. Gai-sensei's fist made contact with my abdomen and I flew backwards, thoroughly winded and my genjutsu went up in a puff of unused chakra.

I heard sensei laugh boisterously. "You almost got it, Junko!"

I was too busy groaning and feeling sorry for myself, so I wasn't sure what happened next. Only that when I had rolled over on my side to rise once more Neji was engaging sensei, and Lee was circling the fight like a tiger about to spring.

We were completely outmatched, and it didn't get any better from there. I watched as Gai-sensei completely negated Neji's gentle fist style, making it look effortlessly not to get your tenkutsu shut down even in close combat.

Lee joined in, and then it was two on one, and I was about to help out too.

_Tiger - Boar - Tiger - Horse - Ox_

"Genjutsu: Flower Petal Escape."

It should be mentioned I really wanted it to work, and I thought I'd found a way to do it.

My Sharingan was active and there was a possible opening in sensei's defence. Neji was trying to gentle fist him to death on the left and Lee was coming in on sensei's right. Sensei had his hands busy, and so my attack should have connected with the tenketsu opening in sensei's ear channel. A pretty optimal opening for these types of illusions.

But at the last possible moment he somehow managed to put Neji in his own place.

My genjutsu worked alright. It just hit the wrong target.

The Hyuuga stiffened, his eyes going glassy even with the byuakugan activated. I had no idea what sort of effect that had on a genjutsu though. Did it work with a dojutsu like that?

I didn't take the time to find out. "Lee! Distract sensei!" I sprang forwards, mortified I'd hit the wrong person and in desperate need of correcting this.

When I reached Neji only a second later three things happened at once. Neji used a genjutsu reversal to break my attack. I used a genjutsu reversal on him with my own chakra to do the same, and Gai-sensei kicked Neji so he went flying.

Any one of those things would have disconnected the genjutsu on its own.

It was perhaps a bit overkill that all three happened at once. Neji barely braced himself with chakra when he crashed across the field. Looking both dazed, winded and pretty pissed off.

"This is going splendidly, isn't it?" I mused with dark amusement as I dodged sensei's kick.

I was teaming up with Lee this time, but we weren't having more luck than he had with Neji. The thing was; it was hard to coordinate when fighting with someone new. I didn't know what Lee could do, and so half my concentration when fighting in close quarters with Lee was to not be hit by friendly fire. Like Neji had.

And perhaps the worst part of the entire ordeal was that Gai-sensei wasn't even trying that hard. He was invested and pushing back, but he hadn't even started sweating yet! A frustrating and taunting fact which implied a lot.

"Retreat!" I barked at Lee.

For a moment I wasn't sure if he'd heard or would listen to me, but then Lee threw himself back to follow my instruction. I didn't fool myself into thinking Gai-sensei couldn't have stopped us from disengaging – there was no doubt he was allowing it - but his widening smile indicated he was curious about what I had planned.

After his unfortunate tumble Neji had gotten back to his feet and moved around the field. He met my eyes and I knew he was waiting for an opening from the side. Lee was to my right and sensei was within my range.

My hands formed seals much faster this time.

_Snake – Ram - Monkey - Boar - Horse – Tiger_

"Katon: Great Fireball Technique!"

The licking flames burst from my mouth, but instead of rotating like a circling globe, I had sent it like spewing flamethrower.

Gai-sensei was too fast, and I needed to cover a lot of ground.

As a result it sent sensei right into Neji, who took the opening for what it had been intended as.

I watched in delighted shock as Neji succeeded in closing one of Gai-sensei's tenketsu, and then Lee had joined too. For a wonderful moment I thought we'd gotten the upper hand, and so I too jumped into the fray.

"Leaf Strong Whirlwind!" Gai-sensei cried. A knee connected with my side, and I went flying across the field, Neji and Lee only blurry shapes in the corner of my eye.

That hurt. Oh kami that last one hurt.

I was gasping and shaking, my body convulsing against my wish to forcefully relax and refocus. I flushed chakra through my body, and that helped some, but I was running low. The genjutsu that hit Neji had been a chakra draining one, and so was the great fireball technique. The genjutsu reversal was also chakra wasteful, and so I was running out of options. I deactivated my Sharingan. It wasn't very draining, but I needed to conserve as much as possible if this went on for much longer.

"Yosh! Are you done yet?" Gai-sensei asked us with a widening smile. I couldn't see his face, I was still trying to raise my head from where I was tasting gravel and sand, but I could hear it as plain as day.

"Never!" Lee cried, though the voice was wobbly and sounded a bit loopy.

When I straightened Lee had charged once more, and I was honestly impressed he was already up and attacking.

There was nothing for it. I got to my feet, dried away the blood that had dripped into my eyes from a wound somewhere, and then went back in again.

The fight lasted an hour.

It was perhaps the most physically taxing hour of my life.

By the end we were three shaking messes, cross eyed and probably concussed.

"I'm in the springtime of youth at full power!" Lee exclaimed, but I wasn't sure who he was trying to fool. Himself, Gai-sensei, us, or whatever hallucination the latest hit to his head had caused.

"No wonder he's a jōnin. He dodges my taijutsu with such ease." Neji was muttering, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth while sporting several blooming bruises up his left side.

We charged again, and once more got thrown back, though somewhere in the back of my mind I registered sensei was countering a bit gentler than he'd been in the beginning.

"Giving up already?" Gai-sensei asked. If it had been anyone else I would have thought it a taunt to provoke us, but I think sensei was genuinely curious.

I pushed my sweaty bangs out of my eyes, finding Gai-sensei waving us forwards.

Lee wasn't giving up though. "My dream is to become a great shinobi through taijutsu alone! I cannot… abandon my dream!" He declared with such hopeless conviction I felt a little heartsick for him.

Then Neji had to go and be a sourpuss. Even being used as a training dummy for an hour wasn't enough to prevent his inner git from emerging. "That's ridiculous… But…. I'm not throwing in the towel either!" He looked mortally offended at being so soundly beaten. I had never seen a Hyuuga so dirty either. I was sure Neji would reconsider wearing beige for tests like this in the future.

But since the boys were being all encouraging and inspirational I threw in my own two ryō too. Like hell I was about to lose here! I could not fail this test. I didn't want to imagine what Sasuke would say if I came home a failure. I refused. And if I had planned to retreat I would have done it before I cracked the second rib fifteen minutes ago. "I'm no quitter!"

Gai-sensei looked like he would be bouncing if he wasn't so focused on the fight. It was just not fair that he hadn't even gotten ruffled yet. "Now you're talking, guys! That's how youth should be! Even if you're used up every ounce of your energy… suck it up and push through it! Hit me with all your might!"

"Let's go guys!" I barked, and together we stumbled towards sensei like Bambi on ice.

I think I blacked out for a second, because one moment we were trying to reach sensei. I'm not sure what exactly we'd do once we got there, but we were charging at least, and next Gai-sensei had us all in a choke-hold simultaneously. Some kind of grapple grip to trap or paralyse a victim.

And then his voice was right next to me, so loud my eardrums vibrated dangerously. "The three of you…." he shouted, gripping us to his chest and effectively cutting off my airways. "all pass!"

I had a moment of stark clarity. Oh… this was not a martial art grip at all.

It was a celebratory group hug.

On the other side of sensei, muffled by exhaustion and perhaps sensei's chest, Lee was sobbing. "Yes! I did it! I did it!"

"I-I can't breathe…!" I gasped, because I really couldn't, and from the middle of the hudde I heard a gurgling wheeze from Neji that probably translated to; "let me go!" or perhaps; "I'm choking on my own blood."

But we'd done it.

We passed.

"Congratulations my youthful students! We are now team nine!"

And I think our first team activity would be a trip to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for reading, and thank you for every comment, subscription, bookmark and kudos! I truly appreciate it! You guys are wonderful. And with what is happening I hope everyone is taking care of themselves and others - please stay safe everyone!
> 
> I tried to add some drawings of Junko last chapter, but that didn't work for some reason, so they were added here instead (I hope it works this time). I'm not entirely pleased with how she turned out though, but I still think it's clear enough.  
  
I wanted to just take this a/n to clarify a few things. There's been a couple comments about how few changes there's been, and I just wanted to assure you that was on purpose. Junko isn't the "I have to fix the plot" type of insert character. She has no idea what is going on outside her very limited sphere of influence, most of whom were killed off. As a pre-teen academy student with no influence or power (not to mention no interest in affecting anything) that hasn't caused many - or any – ripples. Not yet. They are coming once she actually graduates and gains both access to a wider information network and gets to influence more of the original story we all know.
> 
> The previous four chapters were "the childhood part", which I treated more as a very long summary of the first thirteen years of her life. It wasn't to show how different another Uchiha made cannon - but quite the opposite. One little girl stuck in her head does nearly nothing. Next to the active instigators of the situation like Fugaku, Shisui, Itachi, Hiruzen, Danzo etc, she makes barely a splash in the water.
> 
> This story is also from Junko's perspective, who doesn't care about anything but what she thinks affects her life and her opinions. She sees what is in front of her, makes a decision about it, and if that is sometimes flawed or tinted by her background that is both the safety and disadvantage of being a child wilfully kept in the dark.
> 
> Junko isn't an; "adult in a child's body", she's a child with extra memories. There's a huge difference there, so if you continue reading please keep that in mind.


	6. Team Nine - Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I went through my stored documents today and found that this chapter has been laying around on my computer 98% finished since April...? I'm posting it now since it was, after all, 98% finished. Just seemed a waste not to.
> 
> And English is not my first language, and I apologize for the mistakes.

Team Nine - Part 2

After a minor break consisting of the three of us laying sprawled like shot pigeons on the training ground, Gai-sensei attempted to have a team meeting. He wanted to go over our training schedule and inform us what we could expect as Genin.

Unfortunately none of us students were in any condition to pay attention - we were too busy panting heavily and fumbling for water containers to quench our desperate thirsts.

I was distracted by the pain from my ribs whenever I moved, Neji’s left side was getting worse, turning a fetching shade of green and yellow to go with the previous blue pallet of his bruises.

Though the worst was actually Lee - who momentarily lost consciousness.

After that sensei gave up the session and made the chief decision to get us some help. So together we hobbled across town to Konoha general hospital to make sure our injuries weren’t worse than they looked.

The healer who received us was less than impressed, muttering about reckless sparring and unnecessary risks.

Despite his annoyance he was competent, and made sure all three of us were patched up. And if not as good as new, at least better than when we’d arrived. In truth the most tedious part of the experience was the waiting time, though a full hour was filled up by Shiho’s mum coming over to chat. I wasn’t as surprised as I should have been to see that Susu and Gai-sensei got along very well, and apparently knew each other from working together years ago.

By mid afternoon we were walking out of Konoha general with a relieved sag to our shoulders and a pleased sensei.

While we were being checked over Gai-sensei had gone to buy four bento boxes, and together we found an available table in the park to eat at.

  
Gai-sensei called it bonding time. I wasn’t sure if I was sold on the idea, but at least we had the opportunity to ask questions.

Lee had been the most eager, and he and sensei had already mapped out a training regime for the next three months, and that included not only training hours and the exercises, but meal-plans and budgeting too.

It had all started when Sensei declared; “As your sensei it’s my job to help you, and as such we’ll start off by conditioning your bodies! Tomorrow we’ll start with running lapses around Konoha.”

“Wait, what do you mean with lapses...” I interrupted. “-around Konoha?”

“I mean one circle around the boarder of Konoha is one lap.” Gai-sensei clarified and gave me a thumbs up.

I went a little pale. What happened with good old lapses around a training field anyway? What sort of lap was around the entire village? I had ran that distance before, several times actually, but only ** once **at a time.

“Jun-Jun!”

I looked away from Gai-sensei to find Tenten jog up to us.

“How are you? Did your team-” she stopped speaking, her brow furrowing as she took in the state of our little group. Her eyes flickered from Lee’s missing left sleeve, to Neji’s blood splattered shirt to my ripped pouch. Not to mention the many bruises and cuts we’d collected during the morning session that the healer had explained would fade on their own.

“Uh… Are you guys okay?”

“We’re fine, Tenten! Thank you for your concern!” Lee replied delighted.

Shiho, Makaro and their sensei Aoba had followed, coming to a stop next to the brunette. “How was the genin test?” Aoba asked drily.

“My students did admirably, Aoba! I am very proud of their performance and endurance. How about you?!”

Aoba nodded and grinned at the three genin standing around him. “They did very well. I accepted them.”

“Congratulations.” I said, grinning at the three. I knew Shiho and Tenten pretty well, and Akimichi Makaro was a nice guy I’d never had a problem with.

“Did you too come from the hospital?” Lee enquired excitedly.

I sighed and dragged a hand through my hair. I had tied it back properly that morning, but by now it hung in a loose ponytail, and I kept fishing out grass, leaves, dust, dried blood and sweat.

“Um… No. We were just passing by. Were you at the hospital though? Did one of you get hurt?” Shiho glanced concerned between us - not sure who had been the most likely patient.

“All three of us needed medical attention!” Lee replied exuberantly as if that was something to be proud of. I could see Neji twitch at the words, and Tenten’s eyes went wide while Shiho turned speechless.

Aoba groaned. “Don’t kill your students, Gai. It’s only the first day.”

“I don’t think we were in any mortal danger.” Neji admitted, even if it sounded a little reluctant.

I nodded, having come to the same conclusion. Yes we got the stuffing beaten out of us, but I had learned a lot. How to chakra coat to enhance my body in a fast paced taijutsu fight for example. I had thought I knew how to do that, but today had proved I had been doing a shabby version of it, and would need to work on it, but I’m sure Gai-sensei would get us up to standard quickly enough. Not to mention how Konoha had a truly excellent medical program that could heal these kinds of injuries in a jiffy.

“Do you want to join us? You look tired.” I asked, noting the fact that though there were no blood and very few bruises, all of them were sweaty.

Team Four agreed quickly and sat down.

I didn’t have much of an appetite, and barely made a dent in my bento, so I shared the lunch with Tenten and Shiho while Neji did the same with a very appreciative Makaro.

I’m not sure even now if Makaro and Neji were friends. They worked together frequently in the academy and were always on polite terms - but I’d never seen them act like normal friends do either.

“I’m so happy we all made it!” Lee told them as they sat down around the table.

“I wasn’t about to fail after coming this far.” Neji scoffed,

Tenten grinned at Neji, then glanced from Aoba-sensei to Gai-sensei. “I’m glad we passed too. But thank goodness we didn’t get the sensei everyone talks about.

Right, this was the sensei that failed his team, right? Tenten and Shiho spoke of that. I was surprised to see it was Lee who took up the thread of conversation. “You mean that jōnin who sent students back to the academy?”

Neji perked up at the tidbit. “The triplets?” He asked curiously, and Makaro confirmed it with a short jerk of his head.

The brothers weren’t really triplets. The oldest was born in January and the younger two were twins born in late December, which is why they were in the same year at the academy. Apparently they had failed though.

I glanced at Gai-sensei, but he was frowning at the horizon while Aoba-sensei was side eyeing him.

Tenten was humming in agreement though. “Yes. We saw them just half an hour ago. They were really angry.”

Neji's attention returned to his food. “Luck has nothing to do with real strength. Those guys just weren’t good enough.”

And ugh, Neji was probably right, - though I didn’t feel much one way or another if the triplets had to repeat a year, it was just how he spoke of it that annoyed me. As if it was an indisputable truth. The fact of the matter was that Neji didn’t have nearly enough knowledge on the matter to run his mouth yet.

But Tenten was shaking her head. “That’s not what I heard. It was about what’s even more important than a shinobi’s strength or something.”

“And what is that? Is it some kind of super-lethal-one-hit-technique?” Lee asked eagerly.

Tenten shrugged, not sure what it had been about either.

“But who does he think he is to make up his own criteria?” Neji mused, and that caused Shiho to straighten in her seat and agree with vigour. She wasn’t a fan of breaking the set and tried rules either.

I'm not sure how it happened, but listening as Shiho and Neji spiralled into a conversation over the set guidelines and rules of the universe - it was a little like watching the start of a great, new friendship which none of us had seen coming.

The next morning we met up at the mission desk so early we got there before the administrators.

It’s not that I had problems with early mornings, it was just a matter of adjusting my sleeping schedule, but I won’t claim getting up at four thirty was fun either.

Gai-sensei was as energetic as ever, and though Lee needed fifteen minutes he made up for his slow slag in the beginning by being even louder to wake himself – and the rest of the neighbourhood – up.

I honestly couldn’t tell with Neji. No matter the hour he always acted as if he woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Five minutes after the official opening hours a chūnin running the mission desk arrived juggling several cups and a can of tea. He had the morning shift, but looked as if he had yet to fall asleep from the previous night. He noted down we were team nine and what mission rank we were performing, before handing Gai-sensei a mission scroll with a blue thread keeping it closed.

But before we went to complete the mission Gai-sensei led us into a different part of the administration building so we could take a team photo.

“Why?” I asked. “We already took our ID photo, so what to we need a team picture for?”

“We are a team now, Junko, and no matter what happens in the future your first team will always be special. It’s traditional to take a photo - to remember where you started out.” Gai-sensei replied matter of factly as the photographer - another administration chūnin - finished with the setup.

I didn’t think that explained anything at all. If the photo was supposed to be some kind of reminder than our ID-portraits sufficed more than enough too. But it wasn’t anything worth complaining about either, so I shut up and allowed the photographer to take a photo, and then we went to work.

Our first mission was a D-rank to clean up training ground forty.

“Let’s do our very best!” Gai-sensei encouraged with his arms spread wide as we entered the decimated grounds. It looked like a small war had taken place there, and we were the designated clean-up crew.

“Yes sensei!” Lee cried. “We’ll clean training ground 40 so good it will never have looked better!”

“Is this really a mission?” Neji asked with distaste.

“It was this or sorting out that basement.” I replied with a shrug. “At least there’s sunlight here.”

“It would probably have been faster.”

“Don’t say that. That mission scroll said ‘sorting’, not ‘moving’. You’d be surprised how much crap people can store over a lifetime.” I snapped with a little too much force, knowing full well how long it could take to clean up a house after the inhabitants had died.

Neji noticed, and peered at me with an unimpressed arch to his brow. He may have been about to answer, but Gai-sensei broke into our little side commentary.

“It is splendid that you wish to complete your tasks as efficiently as possible! All missions should be approached with utmost effort and a passion to succeed. Be it D-rank or S-rank! We should never waste time when we can be productive instead!” And then he pointed towards the grounds.

“To take full advantage of the daylight hours and practise time as a team we’ll make this mission into a competition! It will fire up our spirits and energize our endurance to push us to greater results.” Gai-sensei exclaimed.

“YES SENSEI!” Lee agreed.

I blinked - my ears ringing a little after that outcry.

“The challenge is this; The one who can find and collect the most discarded weapons wins!”

“That is ridiculous.” Neji exclaimed. “We are capable of doing chores without a timer.”

“But sensei-” I started, as I thought the premises of the challenge a little unfair. Obviously Neji had a huge advantage with his Byakugan.

However, Gai-sensei cut me off, “And if I do not win I will do 5000 push-ups!”

“I will do 5000 push-ups as well if I do not win!” Lee agreed.

Gai grinned brightly at Lee, and then his hands started a countdown. “We’ll start in three... two… one, GO!”

And like that we were set loose on the training ground.

Though Neji had no problems complaining, that didn’t stop him from running around like a dog chasing a bone. His competitive side unable to allow me or Lee to get the better of him. Especially at a challenge he was genetically designed to exceed at.

And damn it - but I was effected too.

I was digging, searching and rolling under bushes for stray kunai, lodged senbon, spare wire, shuriken in the grass and undetonated exploding tags.

Those last ones had come as a surprise when I nearly set it off in my own face before I realized what it was.

I still lost…

Neji won, Gai-sensei came second, I came third and Lee last.

It grated at me to see the satisfied little grin on Neji’s smug mug, and though there were some 'manly tears of pride' from our sensei, he got over it quickly and next Gai-sensei and Lee dropped to the ground, both starting to do push-ups at an alarming speed.

I knew that Neji’s satisfaction stemmed from our loss and not his own win. That was mostly why Neji and I didn’t get along.

I’ll be the first to admit I could be pretty arrogant as well. I could be competitive and petty and I hated to lose and I was comfortable being best - and at times Neji was in the way of those things.

However, Neji looked down on most others, while I didn’t really think the same way. In truth; I just didn’t care about most others.

If someone were struggling that was _ their _problem, but I didn’t find any enjoyment in that. It was their thing, and I let them deal with it. If I had to fight them I did my best to win because I wanted to be strong. Neji wanted to win to be better than the other one.

In practise it looked very similar, to an outsider they probably wouldn’t pick up on the difference, and I understood that, but the mindset made us butt heads time and time again.

Even Sasuke didn’t take enjoyment in seeing others lose the way Neji did. There was a reason Neji couldn’t help but comment on how hopeless Lee’s case was, or that he would never be a good ninja.

A part of Neji just wanted to tear him down, keep him stuck there.

It wasn’t uncommon, in fact it was a fairly normal trait amongst ninjas. But mixed with a negative dispossession, a lack of respect for others, a poorly developed sense of empathy and no sense of humour - Neji could sometimes be as pleasant as my father during a prison interrogation.

And he whined… and whined… and whined… About** everything. **

_Sensei’s orders were stupid. The training regime we followed was not optimal for the gentle fist style. Lee’s dream was hopeless. My motivation was pointless. The yakitori chicken hadn’t the right spice combination, and the baby we were babysitting was too happy. _

It never ended. He just kept finding faults which _had to_ be shared.

I had a large tolerance for emotionally constipated over achievers. My clan had been less than stellar on popularity polls over the years, before they were all...

_and __anyway,_ Sasuke wasn’t a ball of sunshine either, but the difference was that neither Sasuke or I were complainers. Not verbally at least. We had come to a mutual agreement to be furious at the world in general in the privacy of our minds.

It took a special kind of annoying to get under my brother’s skin - which only that Uzumaki kid managed these days, and as I’d seen him stalk Sasuke several times I think it’s a safe bet to say he asked for whatever retribution he got.

Yet a winning Neji was more pleasant than his loser counterpart. He could get nasty.

“Of course I was going to win this competition. With my Byakugan you never stood a chance, Lee.” Neji said with a dismissive tilt of his head.

His words didn’t hold the same amount of stiff arrogance as usual, but that was because each word was paused by a swallow of fresh air, his face had a red blotched complexion and he was blinking out sweat from his eyes.

We had all just finished the damn _5000 __push-ups._ My arms were like jelly at first, and now had gone into the pins and needles stage.

Though I hadn’t made the bet it still felt really strange to just stand around as sensei and Lee were working out, so I had joined. Which had apparently been too much like group pressure, and then Neji was on the ground completing the challenge too - Probably just to prove he could do it as well.

My record in push-ups were previously 3974 – a very annoying number to falter on, I had been_ so close_ to 4000 – but that line had just been smashed completely with determination alone.

“One day I will defeat you, Neji!” Lee declared, shakily dragging his hand through his hair. It came out wet from the sweat.

“Tsk… You’ll **never** be able to. A loser will always be a loser.” Neji dismissed him.

“I may not have the Byakugan, or be part of a prestigious elite clan - but with hard work I can be just as good!” Lee insisted with frustration, making me glance from one boy to the other.

I honestly didn’t care.

This was an old argument from our days at the academy. Neji had his view and Lee had his. They both seemed pretty set in their ways and there were no need for me to get mixed into that little rivalry as well.

Neji just had a gift for pissing people off wherever he went.

“That’s the spirit, Lee! If you work hard you’ll reach your goals!” Gai-sensei agreed, barely out of breath from the workout. In fact he had just flapped over on his back and had began doing sit-ups.

I had yet to see Gai-sensei work up a flush of exertion, and it was getting “a little” annoying.

“Junko, you are part of a prestigious clan too!” Lee exclaimed and turned to me, his eyes hard and ready for a fight.

“What of it?”

“Everyone says the Uchiha were the best! That the members were elite fighters. I will prove I can defeat anyone with taijutsu!”

“You can’t.” I replied - dry as sand.

“I’ll prove it!” He jumped to his feet. “I’ve gotten better since we fought last in the academy!”

I was exhausted, but stood anyway. “Fine.”

He stepped backwards, getting into position as I did the same.

As Neji was stubbornly remaining out of this, and Gai-sensei were still finishing his sit-ups there were no one to make the start sign. So I just began.

My Sharingan activated, not to attack but to react in time. I knew Lee was fast.

Lee stormed towards me, his leg readying for a kick my hands flashed.

_Snake - Rat_

The hell viewing technique connected.

I stepped sideways at the last moment as Lee and his floundering kick flew past me. He crashed to the ground and then rolled several times as the genjutsu I hit him with had made him forget to do it himself.

The fall hurt enough to break the illusion, but by then it was already too late and I had cast another.

_Tiger - Boar – Tiger – Horse – Ox_

It hit perfectly, and Lee remained on the ground, his eyes open wide but glossy, fighting invisible bindings he had no defence against.

As expected, he couldn’t break it.

I moved forwards while building up a genjutsu release. As I broke him free of the flowery bindings he believed was currently strangling him, Lee awoke to me holding a kunai to his neck instead.

“And now you’re dead.” I explained calmly as he realized what was pressed against his throat.

I removed the kunai, letting a shaken Lee stumble away from me.

“What? But, I was trapped? And before that there was a-” He stopped talking, clearly confused.

“You need a better strategy when facing against a buddying genjutsu mistress, Lee! Especially one of the Uchiha.” Gai sensei cried from the sideline. He was still sitting, but he had stopped the sit ups to watch our impromptu spar.

“I hit you with two illusions, as I suspected your poor chakra control makes you especially vulnerable to them.” I clarified. “The first was the Death Mirage Jutsu, or hell viewing technique as I call it, which forces the victim to see their worst fear.” I gestured to where he landed. “The pain of the failed landing snapped you out of it. It’s not a very strong genjutsu and easily broken if noticed in time. I only cast it because it is easy, fast, and takes precise but very little chakra. With your speed I needed time to cast my second genjutsu, the Flower Petal Escape - which is restraining instead of distracting.”

“Oh.” Lee said, scratching the back of his neck.

“And Gai-sensei is right. That was the wrong strategy to take with me. Even if we have not fought one another much in the past, I still know your style too well and knew one of your weaknesses.”

“And with her Sharingan her genjutsu is much harder to break than most others.” Gai-sensei added from the sideline.

I turned to him, deactivating the dōjutsu at the same time. “I didn’t use them for genjutsu this time.”

“No?” Neji asked with a tilt of his head. “What is up with them anyway? Why are they uneven?”

Lee straightened, head tilting to the side as if just realizing something. “I noticed that too.”

I shifted, uncomfortable with the line of questions. “It’s how they are.” I replied dismissively.

  
“Are they supposed to?” Neji asked sceptically. “I was under the impression they should be even, but yours aren’t. They’ve never been.”

Gai-sensei was frowning.

“It’s really none of your businesses, is it, Neji?” I asked with a sharp smile. “The Sharingan is an Uchiha dōjutsu and I’m not going to discuss clan secrets. It’s not like we can share notes either - it doesn’t really have much in common with the Byakugan.”

“Have they always been this way?” Gai-sensei asked.

I turned to him with my hands on my hips and head held high. “As I said to Neji; this isn’t a topic I’m going to discuss with you none-Uchiha.”

“The thing is, Junko...” Gai-sensei replied, his smile a little wry but his eyes glinting strangely. “That there aren’t many Uchihas for you to talk about this with anymore.” He looked a little apologetic, but kept going anyway. “And you know that better than anyone.”

My lips pursed. I’d been waiting for this to come up. “I do.” Though I was still pissed off that he had.

Gai-sensei gazed at me for a long moment, before he stood up. “You do have a point though. We have no right to ask about your secret techniques.” He shrugged in a ‘what can you do about it?’ kind of way. “But I can share what I know of it, which is quite a bit. After all you are not the only Sharingan user in Konoha.”

“What?!” My reply was so sharp and hard it startled sensei.

“Oh!” He waved his hands a little panicked, realizing what that had sounded like as he hurried to explain himself. “I’m speaking about Hatake Kakashi of course! My eternal rival!”

That name was familiar… Why had I heard- Oh, the guy with the transplant… What had Shisui said about that again?

“Is that the guy who received a Sharingan during the Third War?”

“Exactly!” Gai-sensei replied with an enthusiastic nod. “He is my trusted comrade and life long rival! He is a true genius and prodigy! Kakashi of the Sharingan! The Copy Cat Ninja who has copied a thousand jutsu. We have been competing since our academy days and continue to press each other to further heights! Our competitions further our youthful vigour, and I am currently in the lead with 36 wins to Kakashi’s 34!”

I wasn’t sure what to say, luckily I didn’t have to.

“Really sensei? You are better than someone who has copied over a thousand jutsu?”

“Well… We still don’t know what kind of jutsu those were.” Neji muttered just loud enough for all of us to hear.

Gai-sensei smirked at Neji. “He was also the student of the fourth Hokage, and climbed to the rank of jōnin by twelve years old.”

That shut Neji up at least, and even I was a bit startled. Itachi was… well, he had been a lot of things, but _technically_ never a jōnin.

“Isn’t he the one that failed the triplets too?” I enquired thoughtfully, glancing at Lee and Neji for confirmation.

“Uh, yes it is. Kakashi has… some specific requirements when it comes to his team.” Gai nodded to himself.

“And what are those?” Lee asked. “Does he require his students to be prodigies too?” He glanced between me and Neji at that.

“No...” Gai-sensei waved us away, coughing awkwardly. “It’s nothing you have to worry about. You’re on my team and you all passed. No, the reason I mentioned him was because he uses the Sharingan, just like you Junko.”

“A transplant.” I corrected with a wry tilt to my lips. “He’s _no _Uchiha.”

It was then this started making sense. I narrowed my eyes, piecing together several things. “He was only allowed to keep that eye through an agreement with my otousan. Is he sharing Uchiha secrets? Does he go around spreading the ways of the Sharingan now that he is gone?” I asked sharply.

“No.” Gai-sensei denied, his eyes wide but sincere. “Of course he isn’t. What I know of the Sharingan I’ve learned through my experience fighting someone using the dōjutsu. Those facts are known to several actually.”

I nodded slowly. The Sharingan wasn’t a complete mystery after all. The Uchiha were feared, and other ninjas had long been trying to figure out the functions of our clan dōjutsu. “Good.”

If not I wasn’t sure what I’d do. I doubt he’d ever take me seriously despite technically being the clan head of the Uchiha. There would have been little I could have done to make the man shut up about the dōjutsu - though perhaps I could have demanded the eye back for breaking the agreement.

But just thinking about the mess that would have been already made me recoil.

“The fact of the matter is that I do have some knowledge about the Sharingan, Junko, and if you want to speak about something you can always come to me.” Gai-sensei said at last.

He looked sincere, and I gave a short nod to show I had heard and accepted the offer for what it was. I doubted he could help me.

What could he do about some genetic faults?

Training with team Gai was… excessive. Might Gai was a taijutsu master, which meant he was in peek physical condition, and so it shouldn’t have surprised me that this was the first area he decided to focus on.

“Fight!” Gai called at the front of our group, his motivational call was repeated like an attached echo by Lee who was jogging right on his heel.

“Fight!”

Neji and I took up the tail end of the procession.

We were on our fifth lap around the village, and I knew we were not halfway done yet.

The first day had consisted of four lapses around the village. Two days later it was six. Four days after that it was eight.

We trained every day, usually switching between separate areas of focus. If that was strength, stamina, flexibility, manoeuvrability or reflexes changed, but I knew I hadn’t been this hard pressed since I had a clan to train me.

I was proud to keep up, as I knew this training wasn’t easy on any of us.

Though I’ll admit it brought me to a physical breaking point a few times. There was something about being physically scraped raw, the rush of endorphins and be left empty with exhaustion which had traitorous tears stream down my face.

I ignored it and pressed on, because it was horrifying enough Gai was able to render me to tears through exertion alone - but if I was going to get this humiliated I was damn well going to get something out of it too.

Sasuke had been a bit at a loss after seeing the state I returned to most evenings. We had always trained late, it was just a habit from the days of clan training, but this was something different entirely. Probably because Gai-sensei was as un-Uchiha as one could get, both in training regime, style and personality.

Two months passed fast, which was the first time I received a day off and had the excess energy to actually do my own thing.

I could say a lot of things about Gai-sensei training regime, but no one could claim it didn’t work.

I had noticed I was faster, my hits and kicks were stronger and more precise. I was also getting better at dealing with pressure. Gai sensei wasn’t one to coddle us. If we didn’t dodge there was a good possibility we’d end up hospitalized.

Even Neji had stopped complaining. His; “I’m too good for this team” attitude had given way for more frantic alarm, but he’d still been brutally dragged through the; “Oh-kami-help-me, this-can’t-be-happening, please let me get another team” phase. Though that ended the day Lee showed up to training in a matching set of green spandex and orange leggings as sensei - and Neji was now stuck in some melancholy acceptance stage of; “I can’t escape my fate.”

The results of the last two months of insanity became apparent when I spent my day off training with Sasuke.

With my hectic and never ending hours, either doing D-ranks or training, my time at home was at a record low. To catch up and spend some time with him I had asked if he could take the day to train with me.

It was a Sunday, so since the academy was out it is what he would have been doing anyway.

“Gnh!” Sasuke’s eyes twitched with pain as my fist made contact with his stomach, and he went toppling down.

I won’t say it was an easy victory, Sasuke was very, very good, and we knew each other too well for it to be a fair fight, but I hadn’t been so in control of a spar against Sasuke in years.

After he started the academy he had slowly been catching up, and before my graduation we had been pretty much equal. Generally he had won our spars as often as I did.

I helped him up with a sheepish smirk. “Too slow, otouto.”

I received a seething black stare promising retribution for my affections.

..Ah, and there was my vengeance obsessed little ball of hate...

My grin widened and I held out a hand to help him up. He stared at it for three entire seconds, before he reluctantly allowed me to help him to his feet.

“Your taijutsu is better.” Sasuke admitted.

“My sensei is a taijutsu master. After what I’ve been put through since graduation it better be.” I shook my head.

Sasuke arched a brow, having been a regular witness to the states of utter and complete exhaustion I’d been reduced to.

I think he was a little jealous actually.

“Go again?” Sasuke requested.

“Give it twenty minutes?” I asked.

This was supposed to be my day off to allow my body time to rest. I was in no hurry to exhaust myself, though being active was well and good. A day of resting to ninjas didn’t mean no training. It usually meant we stuck to lighter maintenance exercises instead of the hard stuff.

Sasuke agreed, but spent the time doing vertical jump repetitions while I took out the scroll Shiho had lent me about hand seals.

It went through a few familiar but more in debt theories about seal creations and exercises to optimise eal use, and in some cases, cut down on how many were necessary to blend and expel chakra. It was all theoretical, but I still found it pretty interesting.

For a while now I had been trying to figure out how to cast jutsu with one hand. Especially in regards to my genjutsu.

Illusions were all about misdirections, and as I usually fought with kunai or shuriken at hand, the idea of being able to distract an opponent with slashes and throws while casting genjutsu with my free hand always appealed to me.

I remembered that Shisui had been able to do it, though he had never explained how. When he died he had still used two hands when using katon jutsu, so I didn’t think he had perfected it.

Then again, the Uchiha were uniquely able to casting seal-less genjutsu. At least those like me who had activated the Sharingan. There were illusory techniques that was entirely based on eye contact alone, which I was still struggling with. No one was eager to let me use them as target practise and I was stuck on the theoretical part. I had a lot of theories on how to do it, but without practise I just wasn’t sure which one was the best or the smartest.

“Have you made any progress on that?”

I had been so lost to my musing I hadn’t noticed that Sasuke had finished his repetitions. He was sweating and had a pink tint to his cheeks. Jumping for twenty minutes straight did that to most people.

Unless you were called Might Gai; then it was called ‘procrastinating’.

“Not much. I’ve had a few ideas for genjutsu, but I’m not sure how to implement it.”

It was kind of a goal of mine to invent my own genjutsu.

I could do five genjutsu, none of which required the Sharingan, and I honestly didn’t mind that.

Shisui had once told me a true genjutsu master didn’t require the Sharingan to be lethal. Shisui had been able to throw genjutsu with his voice, his hands, his eyes and he even knew a couple D rank genjutsu he could throw with his feet. He said it was hilarious when opponents recognized him as an Uchiha, because they all became so careful about not looking into his eyes.

Which is why in the field he mostly threw genjutsu with his hands or through his voice. He claimed few ever expected it.

“What’s the problem?” Sasuke asked and sat down next to me.

I closed the scroll and gave him my full attention. “So I want to make a genjutsu that can override memories.”

Sasuke blinked. “That’s a bit… ambitious, isn’t it?”

“Not to the extent you’re thinking. I’m thinking more along the lines of confusing the short term memory, or perhaps override the Parietal lobe temporarily to rewrite an already existing memory. It wouldn’t hold, but if we can make people think the current reality is different, why shouldn't we be able to rewrite memories as well? Once it’s dispelled it would come back of course, but while the genjutsu is in effect I could make someone think red is called blue, or make someone think their kunai is in their left pouch and not their back pouch. We ninja are always weary of trusting what we see before us. Memories are generally valued as safer truths than our current vision.”

We Uchiha were familiar with the parietal lobe and how to mess with it. It had a lot of functions that could be affected by a genjutsu. It interprets language, words. It registers sense of touch, pain and temperature. Interprets signals from vision, hearing, motor, sensory and memory. Not to mention spatial and visual perception.

Part of my first lectures had been on the human brain and how chakra could mess it up.

The brain was complex, so to affect one part sent signals to another. It was easy to mess up, get lost in the complexity, though when you did it right the results could be devastating or magnificent - though one didn’t necessarily exclude the other - it just depended on which side of the battle you stood.

Sasuke hummed in agreement while thinking over my words. “It would be complex. You would be casting three genjutsu at once, _at least, _and the chances of the victim noticing the foreign chakra would increase exponentially.”

And that there was why memory alteration genjutsu was difficult.

It required more complex concealments, affecting larger portions of the brain. It meant targeting several areas of the victim’s mind to fool it, usually with several entrance points and more chakra use, which meant the target was more likely to notice and dispel it.

“Shisui could do it.” I muttered. I should know, as I’d experienced it.

It had been extremely bewildering, and I had been scared when it was dispelled. Shisui had cast the jutsu with my permission, and yet once he had made me prefer sushi over udon for dinner - I couldn’t tell something was wrong.

Of course logically I knew, because I had agreed to this and remembered Shisui casting the genjutsu, but I had not felt any difference. I’d just had a bad craving for tuna maki.

And I didn’t even like tuna.

“Really?” Sasuke was genuinely surprised for once. Sasuke had never been as interested in genjutsu as me, as a result I had pestered our cousin for information whenever he came over. I think Sasuke firmly believes Itachi was unbeatable when it came to illusionary work, but personally I had my doubts.

Both Itachi and Shisui had taken that step to be lethal with genjutsu, but to them the Sharingan wasn’t treated as a requirement to throwing illusions, only an extra boost.

It’s why the two of them had been commonly accepted as some of the, or perhaps even _the best, _genjutsu users of the entire clan.

I still don’t know who were the more dangerous at it. Shisui had by far the largest repertoire. He could make up techniques on the fly, his mind a whirl of ideas and creativity, and with such a solid base they were often B or even A rank genjutsu, often with several layers.

Shisui’s illusions had been flawless, and I think his Sharingan helped register and store a lot of the information he later used in his genjutsu.

He once had me under genjutsu for three hours without me realizing at all. It had been a pretty harmless genjutsu he had been playing around with, when he got the bright idea of using me as his test subject. It had made me think it was raining outside instead of the stifling summer it actually was, the weather growing worse and worse for each hour, until Itachi had realized and dispelled it.

But it still told something of the level of detail Shisui had been able to replicate and maintain.

Itachi could do a lot of the same if he wanted to. He just didn’t bother.

A single layered genjutsu from Itachi had been nay on impossible to shake off. The illusions had clung to you, slid into your coils and wouldn’t let you escape. It wasn’t just his Tsukuyomi - though that one was one of the more exceptional examples of what he could produce.

But even the smaller genjutsu were hard to shake off. As a result Itachi’s genjutsu was generally more obvious and flashy. There was no doubt you had been caught in his illusion, but what were you supposed to do about it?

Most genjutsus tried to fool the victim into thinking the illusion was reality, and a large part of that was to prevent the victim from breaking the illusion. It’s why genjutsu was such a difficult field of study. To fool someone’s senses so completely was difficult. The human mind noticed miniscule differences even if we don’t understand why something is off.

Common mistakes that revealed irregularities are, for example, shadows falling wrong. Colour imbalance, typological differences, lack of smells, and most common of all – the background sounds being wrong.

These details are part of reality, it’s what gives it depth, and to duplicate and redesign it to fool a victim it is the hardest part of genjutsu. There are so many layers of compressed information that’s warped to the casters instructions, so to miss a step is pretty common.

It’s what made our clan so feared with genjutsu.

Yes, Itachi and Shisui were still dangerous without the Sharingan, but with it activated even subpar genjutsu users within the Uchiha could throw some pretty horrid illusions. Though the worst part wasn’t always the illusion itself, but just how difficult it was to break out of them.

Because if you couldn’t shake it off, the point of trying to fool someone was kind of superfluous, wasn’t it?

Sasuke sighed, realizing my mind was not on sparring right now, and sat down next to me.

“Fine. Let’s hear your ideas. But once we’re done with this we’ll spar.” Sasuke demanded, and I grinned appreciatively.

“Of course!”

We discussed the theory and several options for how to get around it. We tested out a few hypothesis and realized we were on the wrong path when all it resulted in was visionary results without any emotional connection.

Memories are more than still pictures. They came with emotions, associations and to make it feel natural was very difficult.

It was still a very productive session for me. We didn’t do this often, but the few times I went to Sasuke with a problem he was a great soundboard. He bounced ideas back at me and came with solid suggestions and counterpoints. Because of our shared genetics, education and upbringing he understood what I was trying to accomplish, yet his thought process was different enough for him to see things I didn’t always catch.

Eventually Sasuke got fed up with genjutsu theory and dragged me back to spar.

I won once more.

It was a great day, but now the exception and not the rule.

The rest of the time was spent figuring how to survive my team. Because it felt like one, never ending boot camp – and worse still; it had the strange side effect of making Neji and I bond.

I hadn’t thought it possible to find some common ground with the stuck up arse, but apparently we needed one another.

There was no other way to survive the excess _everything_ that was the Gai and Lee cocktail combination of youth and springtime.

Then to make it worse my puberty set in.

I won’t go into too much detail, but let’s just say it happened during training.

I was _always_ training, so it would have been a miracle if my monthlies had set in during the few hours I had to sleep, shower and change my clothes, but no… Of course it was in the middle of the day while I was at team training.

We were well into push-up repetitions, counting aloud for each completed one with increasingly strained voices.

“1475, 1476, 1477-”

“Halt sensei! Junko, I think you’re bleeding!”

Of course that was Lee.

The following hour was mortifying. I don’t know what I had done to be punished this way, but it ended with a trip to the hospital so I would receive tips, equipment and the information I would need – seeing as I didn’t have a mother or any other female to explain these things - and then we headed back to the training ground only to receive **T****he Talk** from _Might Gai._

And as if being given ‘The Talk’ by Might Gai wasn’t any reserved and fiercely private girl’s idea of how terror and interrogation broke their prisoners - he had the brilliant idea of making it a team lecture.

So instead I received the birds and the bees speech from an over detailed jōnin sensei with too many “planting seeds in our flourishing springtime” analogies.

Rock Lee on one side, his hand shooting up in the air to ask follow up questions every other sentence, and a very quiet and pink cheeked Hyūga Neji on the other.

_It was so awkward._

And despite returning to doing push-ups once the horror was over, I didn’t speak for the rest of the day.

When I came home Sasuke was wrangling his logistics and strategy homework assignment into order. And though he was clearly distracted by the battle scenario he had been presented with he had noticed something was up with me. Frowning he had dropped his pencil an asked what was wrong.

Mature as I was, I marched past him and slammed the door in his face.

He didn’t try to force it, so at least one person in my life understood the meaning of boundaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Akimichi Makaro - Tenten and Shiho’s teammate in this story - is actually a canon character. He’s the Akimichi chūnin who recognizes Minato. He’s 17 during the fourth war, and in the manga/anime he’s the Akimichi character with square tattoos on his cheeks, who appears in one panel when the four Hokages arrives on the battlefield and recognizes Minato on sight. Got the impression he was a bit of a fanboy, seeing as Sakura, who is right next to Minato while healing Naruto – somehow didn’t recognize the fourth. That still bothers me actually. After all, Sakura was working in the Hokage office where Minato’s picture was displayed for years…
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
